Why are people in care homes constantly treated like this?

[Mooooooooooooo]

If i were to whistleblow, I'd be doing it for every single care home.
Residents are constantly referred to as 'cute'. Why? They wouldn't be referred to in that way if they weren't elderly I bet.
Having their heads patted by carers.
Talk of 'favourites'.
We do have some absolutely lovely, endearing and sweet residents but still, they don't deserve to be patronised.
Talking about them in front of them thinking because they have dementia, they won't understand.
A nurse told me that a lady with dementia needs a wash because she 'stinks' even though she was right in front of me.
I know we have some residents who are very hard of hearing so you do have to shout, but sometimes there's a very bossy/rude tone from carers.
It's the case in many homes I've seen

Are you carehome staff? If you see something you are not happy with absolutely whistle-blow. It won't change unless it's challenged.

Not like that in the care home I visit. Carers are kind and chatty with the residents.

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect which sounds like it’s lacking here. I would report my concerns to highlight the fact that some staff may benefit from additional training.

I wouldn't consider cute a disrespectful word. I have heard it used to describe people of all age groups and it's always been used positively?

I put in a safeguarding referral for an elderly gentleman once (one of a ridiculous amount I have raised in relation to multiple care homes and the “care” provided). The carers looking after him were an absolute disgrace. Told us he never “did as he was told”, was “horrible” blah, blah, we’d have to use a hoist because he refused to walk etc. In the end I told them to leave us to it, had a nice chat with him, explained what we’d like to do and why, asked if he was happy with that and up he stood, walked to the chair and off we went. Asked if I could examine once on the truck, yes. Found bruises and all sorts. There was absolutely no way I was leaving him there. Got a phone call from SS the next day asking for more info. I hope those disgusting “carers” were sacked.

Residents in many of these places are afforded zero dignity or respect. It’s disgusting and makes me SO angry.

And that is why I never want to go in one.

It’s in the same vein as “petal”….the way it’s used is condescending and patronising. Use their name/what they like to be called. They’re not a pet.

Are these staff like this from the get go? If not what is it that happens that makes them like this?

Because they are not a pet or a small child? It is extremely patronising.

Some are not suited to a caring role and enter into it with zero idea of what it actually entails and quickly become frustrated and take it out on the residents. Some are just arseholes who enjoy the power imbalance and like to be cruel. Some are poorly trained in how to communicate effectively, what person centred care actually is and how to apply the principles in practice. Some places are understaffed and staff are overworked, which leads to cutting corners and neglect and once that happens everything else slides too. Some lack patience and don’t actually care. Some are just a bit thick but mean well. In some places there is a lack of proper supervision and standard setting. So many reasons but none of them are a reasonable excuse for treating people like shit.

Like I said I've heard it used to positively describe people of all ages!

Caring can be a pretty unpleasant job for rubbish pay, so it's probably easy to become jaded and end up mistreating residents. Maybe if the work was valued more and the pay higher, it would attract more caring people.

I suspect there are lots of reasons.

It's generally a poorly paid job with no experience needed, so almost anyone (however poorly suited they are) can apply and become a carer.

Care homes are desperate for staff - any staff - so would rather have anyone than no-one.

The working conditions are generally pretty awful - long hours, not enough breaks, lack of training, poor pay, lots of overtime - it's easy to become jaded and burnt out in a job like that.

Of course none of that is an excuse to treat people badly or to be abusive but I can see why care homes generally end up being staffed by people who don't really appear to care.

It's certainly not a job just anyone can do - I certainly couldn't do it!

Yes @Confusion101 people may say it with positive intent, but it is actually really patronising/ infantilising in this context.

When care you create a care standards vs profit situation, profit will always win.

Not all care homes are like that, well definitely not in the care home I work in. Residents are treated with respect and dignity. No love or dear where I work.

Yes definitely not all homes, been to one really nice one

I work in a care home for adults (16-64) with severe disabilities. I talk to them in the same way I talk to everyone, which means sometimes the odd “ok sweetheart” or “morning chuck” comes out I have to admit. It’s a home environment and I suppose I act more like a member of a household than a visiting professional. I don’t think the clients mind, in fact I know they love me. It’s a hard job and a hard life for those I look after, most of us are just trying to make the day brighter.

I am in two minds about this. Firstly some residents have been denied visitors for a long time and I think sometimes it might seem harsh but isn't meant to be there just engaging with the resident who might now have some one come to see them for a while to try and make them happy.

It does sound degrading but it makes conversation with a client and if they have someone to talk to its better then nothing

This is the most irresponsible AIBU. I am only on mumsnet for the elderly parents thread - because I found it helpful. I've never posted before but I have to answer this to tell anybody who has parents that are needing care to not worry and think it is all homes - it isn't. I've been where you are and there are good places. Of course, there are bad places and it's a constant process of assessment - you keep an eye out for your relative etc as much as you can, continuously , but please, please, don't think everywhere is awful. The whole thing is hard enough to navigate without starting out expecting abuse and neglect at every turn.
To the OP - Do you not think that a number of people reading this board have parents that are in nursing homes because their needs are so great they can't be cared for any other way? How dare you start flexing and showing off and adding to their stress by saying it's all homes and then contradict yourself further down by saying 'Yes definitely not all homes, been to one really nice one.'
I'm guessing you are agency staff ? So, do your job and whistleblow for every single care home and not in an anonymous sneaky google review way - be upfront and report to social care, CQC, local newspaper - the works.

There are some care and nursing homes with safeguarding concerns and these are the stories that often, but not always, end up in the news - and it's appalling and worrying and horrible but there are plenty that are good.

There are huge worries with social care - it's stressful as all hell to navigate, care should never have been taken off the NHS and passed to social care, care should NEVER have been privatised and that goes for children's homes, learning difficulties etc.
Of course there are bad places but that is not the norm. Shame on you OP, shame on you.

This is unacceptable practice these days and CQC would come down hard on these things if they identified them. The staff - including the nurses - need training in dignity and respect. It is a hard job, but it's not difficult to use someone's name as opposed to 'dear' or 'petal'. Saying someone stinks right in front of them is unprofessional and totally unacceptable as well. The staff often forget themselves in these places. The manager and senior members of staff set the tone and culture, so they need to address these problems.

Ermm...wow? Huge huge overreaction

Quite obvious I'm not saying every single home in existence bar one single one. The past couple of weeks I've been to a lovely one but some were like above

Then why did you imply it was all homes? And constantly?

I didn't think it would be taken so literally but maybe i should have been clearer.