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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick to death of online parents' evening

204 replies

noblegiraffe · 30/04/2022 21:33

The Telegraph headline says parents are 'sick to death' of online parents' evening and are desperate to get back to face-to-face meetings.

On here I've read mostly positive comments and how parents never want to go back to sitting in the hall waiting in a massive queue to see the science teacher who always runs over, that it's so much more convenient to sit at home, click through and done. I was quite surprised to see such a strong headline against them.

What do you reckon?

YABU - Would prefer face-to-face

YANBU - Online please

OP posts:
TheCanyon · 30/04/2022 22:14

Our primary school kids parents evening worked great over call, dd1s high school parents evening video calls was a utter disaster as none of the teachers could hear us so just sent what seemed like a generic email.

I do agree with @UnsuitableHat that it's more efficient(if it works)

WeAllHaveWings · 30/04/2022 22:14

By the time we got connected, said hello, teacher repeated report card comments and asked if there are any questions, I got automatic 4 minute cut off mid asking first question. I could see she had no parents booked in the slots before or after me, but the system still wouldnt let me in early then cut her off at the end. Complete waste of mine and teachers time.

Online could work well but needs better organised.

HollyFromTheBongs · 30/04/2022 22:15

I hate, hate, hate, hate online parents' evenings.

Along with online GP appointments, and online ... pretty much everything that is supposed to be a substitute for talking to real people in real life.

I don't give a fuck about efficiency: I want to see and talk to real people.

MmeMeursault · 30/04/2022 22:18

Incacat2 · 30/04/2022 22:00

Speaking as a Secondary teacher and a parent, online evenings are the best thing to come out of the pandemic. I don't have to sit in a freezing classroom or hall, parents turn up on time and appointments cannot over run. I can also wear my pajama bottoms and slippers.

And drink wine out of a coffee mug

MenaiMna · 30/04/2022 22:18

If only effing logging in wouldn't fail for every single appointment. Whatever software they've got I haven't and haven't got the means to upgrade. Really hard on the technically challenged. And in a class of 200 only 30 6-minute slots, all gone before I'd read the email. A good idea but it hasn't worked for me.

CoQ10 · 30/04/2022 22:20

Online all the way
.
.
.
No hanging around
Multi tasking while I wait
To the point when I'm on
No costs involved
Cup of tea while I'm on
Can take notes more easily and subtley
Warmer
No covid risk
No brainer.

DrDreReturns · 30/04/2022 22:21

I much prefer the online meetings as a parent. No waiting around in a school hall for the next appointment I can get on with jobs at home in the meantime.

Ducksurprise · 30/04/2022 22:21

As a parent of many I only find five minutes too short for the children that are a pita spirited but then I'm already in contact with the school about these children. For the others I love online parents evening.

underneaththeash · 30/04/2022 22:21

I’m not keen. We sometimes need more time with certain teachers and less with others at the (apparently amazing) state school Da

zighead · 30/04/2022 22:23

I was dreading the first online parents evening as hate video calls but I think they are much better than the real thing. So efficient and no stress of rushing around trying to find the right teacher. Think five minutes is plenty and the countdown useful. Teachers must love them surely.

RedHelenB · 30/04/2022 22:24

D's school just gone b back to save to face thank goodness. Never bothered with the online ones.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 30/04/2022 22:26

It's much easier to talk face to face, and it's important to meet the humans that teach your child; especially at high school where you never get to go in.

It's been horrible the past two years being kept at arms length from the DCs' teachers and its really eroded the school-home relationship. it benefited the relationship between teacher and pupil/ parents. You can't get that through a screen.

^^this

we get 5 min slots, with at least a minute being lost to connection issues and how are you? Teacher then has to rapid fire info out and there’s never enough time to ask questions. The system cuts off the appointment bang on time and I panic as the time clicks down. I then end up having to email in to ask questions-takes up much more time and is really frustrating.

f2f all the way for me

Hercisback · 30/04/2022 22:26

The trouble with our online one is that it cuts off after 10 minutes whether you want it to or not, whether you're still talking, or the teacher is still talking etc.

Face to face you shouldn't be going over the allocated time either. Arrange for a follow up call.

MrsHamlet · 30/04/2022 22:26

underneaththeash · 30/04/2022 22:21

I’m not keen. We sometimes need more time with certain teachers and less with others at the (apparently amazing) state school Da

If I needed more time with you, I'd arrange another appointment. If I needed less, I might sneak a biscuit between the end of you and the start of the next.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 30/04/2022 22:28

As a teacher online was better. No running late whilst poor parents are legging it round school trying to find all the different teachers.

PinkiOcelot · 30/04/2022 22:28

I think it’s great. Done in the comfort of your own home. Over and done with in 18 minutes (dd doing A levels so only 3 teachers) compared to going all over the school, teachers running late and being over an hour later than I should be been. Thumbs up from me!

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 22:31

Hercisback · 30/04/2022 22:26

The trouble with our online one is that it cuts off after 10 minutes whether you want it to or not, whether you're still talking, or the teacher is still talking etc.

Face to face you shouldn't be going over the allocated time either. Arrange for a follow up call.

I never have. I'm the done and dusted in 5 minutes one and when online I tell the teacher I can end the call early so they can have a cuppa or a wee break.Not an issue for me, but I've heard parents AND teachers(my coworkers) complaining about it.

Hercisback · 30/04/2022 22:34

Teachers shouldn't be complaining about it. They should be sticking to schedule. So frustrating because face to face, being 2 mins late can throw a whole evening.

One benefit of f2f is seeing more students. I only have 36 slots now, before I'd have the same number but could sneak a few quick ones in between other appointments. Especially the "yeah they're fine" type ones.

MargaretThursday · 30/04/2022 22:35

So much better at secondary level.

Before:
Dh leaves work early to be home in time to go out again, depending on how much flexitime he has that month may need to take half a day off. Ask other parents to take ds to his evening activity.
Find your first one is at 4:30 on the 3rd floor.
Dash up there to find this teacher has a queue of 5 in front of you.
Look at list and realise your next one is at 4:45 on the ground floor. Decide to go for the ground floor one, and hope you can do that and be back in time for the first appointment.
Arrive at ground floor to find 1 person in queue. This looks good, except 25 minutes later you're still waiting and your next appointment is in the other building in 5 minutes.
Decide you'll be late for that one.
Arrive at that one 5 minutes late, but no one ahead of you... except just as they're saying goodbye to the previous person someone dashes in and says they were due 15 minutes ago so they go next.
Give up on list and wander round hoping you'll get to see the right teachers in the end.
There is always one huge room full of teachers and you spend half the time saying "can you repeat that" as it's so noisy.
3 hours later, and 8/10 teachers seen, you discover after looking everywhere of the other teachers, one has left as they only had appointments until 7pm, and the other one was off sick. You had been told, but you didn't associate "teacher AMS" with Mr Smith who teaches history.
Dash off in a hurry to pick up ds a little late.

Now:
Dh logs in from work to the appointments. I log in from home with dc.
At 1 minute before the appointment, the clock starts counting down and at exactly the right point the teacher appears.
You have an 8 minute talk, which cuts off at that time. You get a warning, so if longer needed the teacher will tell you they'll email you to make an appointment at a separate time.
I can time the appointments to nip out and drop ds off at his activity, and pick him up at the right time.
While I go and take him, dh can continue working.
Some ill teachers will still be able to do the parents' evening as they can do it from home too.
Time taken 80 minutes, and between appointments I/dh can do useful things.

Salamander91 · 30/04/2022 22:37

I would prefer face to face but all my kids are at primary school so it would only be 3 teachers. I've never even met my daughters teacher because of covid which seems ridiculous. I can see why online would be easier for high school though.

milkysmum · 30/04/2022 22:40

Overall I love the convenience of online, but the time slots are just to short! 3 minutes per teacher/ subject ( secondary)- by the time the teacher has said hello, introduced them self etc you are down to 2 1/2 mins and then it cuts off whether you are finished speaking or not. My daughters form tutor is also her history teacher so we had to try and discuss history plus general well-being in just 2/3 mins- it was impossible.

MrsHamlet · 30/04/2022 22:43

One of my colleagues teaches all of y8 which is 240 students. We get 36 appointments a night. He now chooses to do two online nights rather than one face to face. So not everyone gets one, but twice as many do as when it was face to face.

CatLadyDrinksGin · 30/04/2022 22:43

“The slots are too short” aka spot the parent who took all the extra time in face to face parents evenings.

LoveInSlowMotion · 30/04/2022 22:43

I prefer online. We get 10 minutes per teacher for secondary and 15 minutes per teacher for college (A levels). Face to face, there’s always a few parents that go on forever and delay everyone else and everyone can hear what you’re saying. And I can avoid the teachers and parents that I can’t stand. 😅 The kids prefer it too.

SleeplessWB · 30/04/2022 22:45

We surveyed parents this year and it was in favour (just) of returning to f2f so we decided to run the first hour online and the second hour in person which seemed to work ok.

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