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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick to death of online parents' evening

204 replies

noblegiraffe · 30/04/2022 21:33

The Telegraph headline says parents are 'sick to death' of online parents' evening and are desperate to get back to face-to-face meetings.

On here I've read mostly positive comments and how parents never want to go back to sitting in the hall waiting in a massive queue to see the science teacher who always runs over, that it's so much more convenient to sit at home, click through and done. I was quite surprised to see such a strong headline against them.

What do you reckon?

YABU - Would prefer face-to-face

YANBU - Online please

OP posts:
HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 30/04/2022 21:57

Online was so much better. DDs school have gone back to face to face, none of the appointments are actually in the evening they're all during working hours which means having to take time off work.

Picked her up from school at 3 pm, only slot we could get was 5.15pm so home for a bit then back to school so we could talk to her teacher for less than 5 minutes, then back home again. Just a pain in the bum.

Shinyandnew1 · 30/04/2022 21:59

Online was much much better for secondary.

HemanOrSheRa · 30/04/2022 21:59

On line all the way for me. I should say my son is 17 and left school last year. So we muddled through lockdowns. But really, Parents evening online was great. Sit down, talk about your child for 10 mins. Move on. No faffing around about who was first in the queue, in a hot sweaty hall.

Dixiechickonhols · 30/04/2022 22:00

Prefer online. Was much quicker, no waiting around in sports hall. Teachers stuck to time slots. More convenient for working parents.

Incacat2 · 30/04/2022 22:00

Speaking as a Secondary teacher and a parent, online evenings are the best thing to come out of the pandemic. I don't have to sit in a freezing classroom or hall, parents turn up on time and appointments cannot over run. I can also wear my pajama bottoms and slippers.

catsonahottinroof · 30/04/2022 22:02

Our secondary never did online - there were no parents evenings in 2020, then straight back to in person. It suits me, because I hate using zoom and only have done a couple of times against my will, but can see the appeal for people who like that sort of thing, working from home etc. I think it is a lot different meeting someone in person than an image on a screen.
It was lovely to see the school and teachers in person after the lockdown/s and I was so grateful to the school for doing their best to keep everything as normal as they could for the children. Thank god we have now had our last parents evening.

nearlyspringyay · 30/04/2022 22:02

Love it online.

BungleandGeorge · 30/04/2022 22:03

noblegiraffe · 30/04/2022 21:55

I’m not necessarily wanting to discuss my child in a situation that isn’t confidential

Parents' evening in the hall certainly isn't confidential. It's so noisy I'm practically shouting at parents to be heard. Are you primary?

I knew that would come back but honestly at parents evening you sit near other people intent on their own conversation about their own children. And you can see around your so are very aware of who is and is not close enough to listen. It’s totally different to a screen with silence and you are at times very aware that someone else is in the room but you don’t know who etc. It’s not really very appropriate for safeguarding and confidentiality

AnneElliott · 30/04/2022 22:04

YANBU - online please! I used to have to take the whole afternoon off work to go before. Now I sit at my work laptop and carry on working in between. It's done in 30 minutes and no more parents hogging the teachers time as it cuts them off!

Surely it's better for the teachers as well? Time and childcare issues are much easier now online parents evenings?

Wolfiefan · 30/04/2022 22:04

I like them. Saves me the travel. Means the appointments run to time. And I can enjoy a coffee at the same time

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 22:05

noblegiraffe · 30/04/2022 21:40

the slots were too short

Are they shorter than they would be face-to-face?

As a teacher, I find the slots longer because you don't have the bit where you are searching the hall for your next parents, waving them over, shaking hands etc.

It really depends on the child and the issues raised.

The trouble with our online one is that it cuts off after 10 minutes whether you want it to or not, whether you're still talking, or the teacher is still talking etc. Of course, you can also arrange a follow up appointment but for some parents it can be very frustrating if their kid is struggling or if they need more time with the teacher and that's one of the few opportunities they get for various reasons.

For me personally they're better online because they follow the same pattern of "she's good,she's great ,no issues" done in 5 minutes, but without the actual travel and waiting around.

JanglyBeads · 30/04/2022 22:05

@BungleandGeorge you have to admit it's more likely to be confidential than in a hall full of other parents though? Obviously if there was something seriously private you should make a separate appt to see or ring the teacher anyway.

Ohdoleavemealone · 30/04/2022 22:05

My kids are in primary and for me it is about what the kids need.
DS is fab at school, never much to say. Happy to do online meeting for it.
DD however struggles and at the last meeting I was told she isn't making progress and then "okay, got to go now, bye". No opportunity to actually discuss anything. At least in person she can't get rid of us so easily!

caecilius1 · 30/04/2022 22:06

Much better online.

AskingforaBaskin · 30/04/2022 22:07

Ohdoleavemealone · 30/04/2022 22:05

My kids are in primary and for me it is about what the kids need.
DS is fab at school, never much to say. Happy to do online meeting for it.
DD however struggles and at the last meeting I was told she isn't making progress and then "okay, got to go now, bye". No opportunity to actually discuss anything. At least in person she can't get rid of us so easily!

I don't know about your school but you can request for meetings outside of parents evening. Parents evening is just a brief base touch here

JanglyBeads · 30/04/2022 22:07

I have to say I prefer f2f. But I love crowds of people generally. As I work at my (teen) kids' school I'm OK with online, but if I didn't I know I'd really really want to meet their teachers in person.

MrsHamlet · 30/04/2022 22:07

It’s totally different to a screen with silence and you are at times very aware that someone else is in the room but you don’t know who etc. It’s not really very appropriate for safeguarding and confidentiality

My school insists we do parents' evening from school. We're all in classrooms or offices.

howtomoveforwards · 30/04/2022 22:08

It is far better for us, as teachers. I always do them from home, can use the loo, make a sandwich, put the dishwasher on, make the packed lunches etc. between appointments. All the shit I would normally have to do when I get home gone 10pm. It is efficient for all parties. I am praying we don’t go back to normal come September.

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 22:08

I do kind of miss the opportunity to look at her books and work though.

Ttbhappy · 30/04/2022 22:08

Face to face as I get shown their books and handwriting etc and that doesn't work online.

WhatsitWiggle · 30/04/2022 22:08

I haven't actually done a secondary school face to face parents evening - thanks Covid - but the two online ones have been great. DDs Dad has a tendency to waffle so a 4 minute appointment time focuses his mind and generally I find he shuts up altogether, lets the teacher speak then lets me ask any questions.

UnsuitableHat · 30/04/2022 22:09

Voted YANBU as a teacher. From my perspective it's more efficient.

Starlightstarbright1 · 30/04/2022 22:11

I found 5.minutes too short ( secondary.

It was fine with the appointment where Dc us doing really well but in the rest although minor issues it was too short

WorkCleanRepeat · 30/04/2022 22:11

I much prefer online. Our school has gone back to f2f now. It's a logistical pain.

ComDummings · 30/04/2022 22:12

Ours do phone calls now, so much easier. I’m sure the teachers prefer it too.