Would you hire a male babysitter?

[georgarina]

Why/why not?

I am really careful with family members too. Especially extended family. It occured to me that most of my childhood friends that ive spoken to honestly, most of us had sexual abuse of some sort. Family friends. Mums boyfriends, relatives etc.
Ive always tried to note the way people interact with my children.
Its not as if its ' any female is fine and any male isnt' , but generally I would be much less trusting.

No because I've spent the last fifteen years working in the justice system working with sex offenders and or their victims, statistically it's just more likely to be a man.
To add to that though, I wouldn't hire any stranger as a babysitter (yes I know highest risks come from those known to the child) and it's one of many reasons I chose a nursery setting rather than a childminder for DS. The only people who have looked after DS alone other than me or DH are his grandmothers.

Thank you, lots of interesting responses.
For context I'm going out for work one night and need to hire someone from an agency as no other options. One male candidate had 100% positive reviews, DBS certified etc but was insanely cheap (like £5 less ph than anyone else). Made me think this is probably due to reluctance of hiring...but in that case why do it, and why not do another more profitable job.

He probably does it as a sideline - and because there'll be some families that do prefer men, like single dads or parents of children who've been traumatised by women.

in that case why do it, and why not do another more profitable job.

Exactly this - you do need to question his motives ...

I definitely would, sex is irrelevant. I know the risk of abuse is higher with males but you can't live your life thinking about the tiny chance of something happening. I don't anyway

Sex clearly isn’t irrelevant when your next statement says abuse rates are higher amongst males.
Theres a tiny possibility my child will be snatched if I leave them in a hotel room and go out for dinner- I’m still not doing it. There’s a tiny possibility my baby will wake or I’ll get killed going to the shop and leaving them in their cot at night- but I’m still not doing it

I think a lot of parenting is evaluating risk of happening vs benefit and the stakes involved. I absolutely do worry about the chances of bad things happening to my children because of me making a poor decision. Children being sexually abused is sadly quite common. In the internet age its now even big business as much as some sick individuals doing it for their own kicks. When im thinking about who to use as a babysitter - not even essential childcare, I sure as hell am going to be concerned about evaluating all sorts of things to try and make the safest choice.

The risk of something happening may be low, as in theres more chance that it will be ok than not , but the stakes are my childrens safety, mental and physical health long term. If you dont consider those things because ' you cant live life worrying' then something did happen. Id feel responsible for failing to protect them

And yes i do feel a bit sorry for the men who are great with children and not a threat and enjoy working with children. Not enough for me to prioritise that over my own risk assessment.
I wouldnt even suggest my ds' did babysitting tbf. If they wanted to work with children id probably suggest working in a nursery or school. Its really important for children to have positive male role models, and of course im really careful about talking to children about the risks in this sort of thing. Its actually kind of stressful and conplicated getting the balance right about being aware of issues around male violence, without making them feel worried or targetted for being male.

@Branleuse

I think that's a good approach. These threads are interesting as I'd not really looked into the stats but is shocking when you do. It pays to be cautious and to stay vigilant but at the same time, not to let it take over, given we can spend our lives worrying about all sorts.

We definitely need to turn these stats round but confess to never ever thinking about family members looking after our kids.

. I know the risk of abuse is higher with males but you can't live your life thinking about the tiny chance of something happening

98/99 % higher! Quite a disparity!

Not a chance. I wouldn't hire some random kid from the neighbourhood either.

And yes i do feel a bit sorry for the men who are great with children and not a threat and enjoy working with children.

^^

Meh, I'm passed feeling sorry for men at all tbh. Men have had enough free passes to last several lifetimes. They'll cope.

That would be really hard for me to say that to my sons without it sounding like I hated them and thought they were bad people compared to my daughter, wouldnt it.

98/99 % higher! Quite a disparity! Yes of course but it doesn't mean that 99% of males will abuse. I wouldn't hire a male or female babysitter I didn't know and trust unless it was through a reputable or recommended agency, and then, if it was male it wouldn't bother me

Of course 99% of men are not abusers, just pointing out the fact that the chances of a male person being an abuser is way higher than if it were a female person.

Maybe because it's a pretty straightforward and undemanding task.

No, I wouldn't.
Statistically, the risk of sexual abuse is much higher with a man.

that doesn't mean that if you hire someone random there will be less chance of abuse 😂

No.
Not even one I know and reasonably trust.
You can never truly trust anyone, as a lot of sexual abuse is carried out by family members anyway, trust doesn't count for much.

Of course 99% of men are not abusers, 🤔

My DD has an autism diagnosis, global development delay and is non-verbal at 4. It would be to much of a risk for me personally, given her extreme vulnerability, to leave her with a random male babysitter, just to be one of the cool mum gang.

I'd even struggle to leave my NT very mature and chatty DS of 5 with this person, so it's a no from me.

I'd also not leave either of my DC with a single unknown female babysitter. They've been at nurseries with multiple carers, but I'm not comfortable with the one-on-one situation for either of them.

No. Aside from the reasons already mentioned, I would prefer to employ a girl or woman. There are many other casual types of work that men/boys might do that women may be deterred from due to their concerns about personal safety, so would prefer the opportunity for work in the safety of my home to go to a woman or girl who might want it.

Blimey, I think it's so sad that some people think you can never truly trust anyone!

Probably because it's hard for him to get the work because he's male. And because of that you're reluctant to hire him. Good idea. Being a victim of sexism is a sure sign they're up to something.