To ask why having an elective C-Section is so frowned upon?

[Rosesandbutterflys]

I am (hopefully) having an elective C-Section soon. First baby, don't want anymore children after.

I've always had a fear of child birth, which over the past 5 years has been compounded by a lot of people around me having children and the vast majority of these (though I appreciate I'm probably unlucky here) have been pretty traumatic births that have ended in severe tears, forceps and a lot of the time, an emergency section anyway. Granted their experiences have mostly been better on their second birth/ child.

Nothing and I truly mean nothing about natural childbirth/ labour appeals to me. Not the hours of pain, pushing, potential rips/ tears, forcep intervention, epidural (yes I appreciate I'd have one of these for a section), damage of my pelvic floor and the panic and stress of potentially having to be rushed to theatre because it just wasn't going to happen naturally and the baby is in distress or whatever.

Now don't get me wrong, nothing about a c-section appeals to me either, it's absolutely no walk in the park and I'm dreading it, but it has to come out some way and I am a person that likes to plan things and to somewhat be in control/ aware of the plan. I have also had abdominal surgery before (though not as severe as a C-section) and I know recovery is likely to be painful and slower than if I were to have a natural birth. But for me, this is the preferred/ lesser of the 2 evils option.

I have also spent hours pouring over research as to the benefits of a vaginal birth over a c-section and last night came across a NICE/ NHS study/ research that found that actually, for a planned/ elective c-section, the risk to the mother of a c-section compared to a vaginal birth is pretty much the same. It states that the risk of the baby ending up in NICU with a C-section is 13.9% compared to a vaginal birth which is 6.3%, so double the risk, BUT it says the research does not take into account the fact that most c-sections undertaken are for medical reasons and therefore the likelihood of the baby needing NICU attention after it's born is increased anyway.

It then went on to say that the risks of an unplanned, emergency C-Section are a lot higher than a natural birth/ elective/ planned C-Section. So I guess if each woman was guaranteed to have a straightforward, natural birth, then great, but a lot of women do end up needing an emergency c-section so, technically they are more at risk than someone who has chosen an elective.

This now seems like I am bashing natural delivery and I'm not at all I totally admire and respect women that chose that route, I only wish I were that brave.

However, the responses I have had from people my whole pregnancy when I have admitted I am opting for an elective C-section have been ridiculous. Not one person has responded positively, all I've had is 'Oh, really? Are you sure??' and 'Oh, why on earth would you elect to have that?' etc etc. Or just a stony faced, tight smile and 'oh right' making it clear they disapprove but not actually coming out and saying it.

I got told last night that the reason I'm getting these reactions is because a C-section is 'taking the easy way out '😕

If that's the case, why on earth wouldn't you? Why is it that it seems the prerequisite to being a good mother is seemingly having to martyr yourself all the time?

So many of my friends that have had children and also the women in my NCT class who are preparing for their births have all expressed dismay/ distress at having to have any pain relief, they all want it to be as natural as possible and I know my friends that haven't had 'textbook' births still harbour 'guilt' and sadness to this day. Why? If you need gas and air or an epidural, so what? What exactly am I missing? If they ended/end up with forceps or an emergency section, it's not their fault, it's just one of those things. Surely modern medicine has provided these things to make childbirth safer?

Anyway, gone off on a tangent now but if you disapprove of someone having an elective c-section, could you tell me why?

I had my first two naturally, and my second two Emergency C-section, and this baby (a huge surprise lol) will probably be elective c-section. I have had to beg for them to let me try naturally, because there are risks after c-sections to have a VBAC.
However, seeing as I can compare the two, and yes, I know an emergency c-section is more than likely very different to an elective one, I love natural childbirth, I loved the pain lol, I loved how quickly it was forgotten the second my baby was in my arms, I liked how easily I healed despite tearing with my second, that didn't seem to hurt at all, they stitched me, I had a few salt baths and was fine!
But lastly, If I have my c-section, that will be it for me and babies, and I hate saying no more lol. But would never risk another knowing that after 3 c-sections, my body would be pushed to its limit, and if I fell pregnant again, then there would be massive risks.

So all in all, I guess my point is you should be able to choose what makes you feel happiest...for me personally, I loved laughing my arse off on the gas n air, pushing my babe out, and not feeling out of it afterwards like I did from the sections, but whatever is best for you, you shouldn't feel bad, the main point is, the baby is born safe! xxx

Take no notice of those judging you. Nobody gets a prize for giving birth naturally and the end result is the same.

Just keep your answers vague if you don’t want judgement. It’s good practice for when the baby is actually here anyway…

I had a planned home birth . No one knew except my husband, the midwives, my mum and NCT (I wanted to ask specific questions and would have been weird to not share with the course leader).

After the home birth, I did tell people this is how my baby was born. I know I made the right decision not telling people until after based on their reactions. From horrified expressions and telling me how brave I was or them being pleased they didn’t know beforehand because they would have worried. I did my research too and was happy with my decision, so i just inwardly rolled my eyes at their reactions. But I knew what I wanted and didn’t want the dramatics or people trying to change my mind or judging me. So I kept it to myself.

Even if it was selfish, so what? I think I'm pretty unselfish about a lot of things in life, I'm not generally a 'taker', but too right we should be selfish about our own health and mental well-being. Nobody else will on our behalf.

I've had a standard delivery, an emergency section, and planned sections. Of all the deliveries the planned section was my favourite. It was planned to the nth-degree, I even got to choose which day it was on, and it was so chilled out and calm. I had what's called a gentle section where they dropped the curtain at the moment of delivery (you don't see the incision as it's in the bottom part of your bump so out of sight), the midwife tugged my gown down at the top, and we saw DC lifted out and they were delivered directly onto my bare chest just like they would have been in an vaginal birth. The cord was clamped at one end but waited for the it to stop pulsing before it was cut, DH was able to cut it, then the curtain went back up, a nappy was put on DC, and the they were placed inside my gown for skin to skin while I was stitched up. Weighing was all done in recovery and then back into my gown for more skin to skin where they stayed until we got to the postnatal room. A section doesn't automatically mean cold and clinical.

Because it's much greater cost/burden on the NHS as well as being major surgery with higher risk to the mum and baby.

Clearly understandable for medical or psychological reasons but those things aside yes a selfish choice in other circumstances .

Mine isn't expected to go fine. I'm a high risk pregnancy under consultant care, I have been told it's likely I'll need a c-section even if I wasn't wanting to elect for one.

Yes a drip feed but I don't see it as particularly relevant considering I do want one, but my birth isn't expected to go fine and I'd likely need an EMCS anyway so I'm trying to take some control if the situation and take away some of the stress/ pain.

And as other posters have pointed out, this opinion is ridiculous so I'll take no notice of it anyway.

It was me that started this thread so definitely not OP

You're not comparing like with like.

C-section is cheaper when you correctly compare it to vaginal delivery costs including the costs of treating birth injuries and trauma.

Besides which, guilt tripping women into making disadvantageous decisions based on a misguided notion of "protecting the NHS" is immoral. The NHS has the issues it does due to deliberate under-funding and mismanagement by government, not because patients make the right healthcare decisions for their lives.

Unfortunately this is probably going to be your first lesson in "us mothers get judged by others no matter what we do - we even get judged by other mothers".

You're going to have to get used to this and just be confident in your choices for your body and your child.

I personally have had two natural births and about to be induced for a third time in a few weeks due to having yet another big baby.

The reasons I prefer this is the research I did years ago when having my other two, around the link between vaginal births and PND eg your body's doing what is natural therefore hormones are more likely to follow suit. This isn't an exact science of course but just like vaginal birth petrified you, PND petrifies me. At the same time how amazing is it that we have a procedure like a c-section that isn't what the body is naturally doing and is there to protect mother and baby. I don't understand a decision to have an elective c-section mainly due to recovery but that doesn't mean I'm judging or that I don't wholly respect anyone's wishes for wanting one.

This is your body, your choice, and you're going to need a thick skin towards all the judgement you'll get as a mum. It's awful.

I hope you have a really positive experience and that you can tell everyone else to STFU 😊

You are about to be a mother. I recommend that you find a way to avoid nosey and inappropriate questions in a way that doesn’t feel like “ lying “ to you.

Otherwise you are going to have a very tough time for the next 20 years.

Can I suggest

“ Oh we are just going to see how things go “
” We will do what the midwife / doctor advises “
“ Best to listen to the professionals, don’t you think “
” it’s kind of you to take such an interest”

Had 2 elective CS and didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought

I had two very straight forward labours and birth, no tears and both out of hospital within a few hours but I was the only one in my friendship group who had this, all the others had complications so if you really don’t want to do it YANBU!

Funnily enough, the only people who have ever been negative towards me about having csections have been men. I remind them they're not entitled to an opinion until they've given birth themselves.

Stop stressing and feeling you have to justify your choice!! I had 2ELCS and they were fantastic…do what suits you and don’t worry about what other people think.
Also I personally have not ever heard negative comments about it apart from on mumsnet!!

This. If it was done privately then I wouldn’t care either way.

It’s not up to anyone to have opinions on your birth choice OP. It’s maddening you’ve had these comments said to you, if this is what you want then go for it, it’s not selfish, and it definitely isn’t the easy way out. Also if you have been told you would be a complicated case then I would think it’s far safer to have an el cs because it’s the most controlled situation for your birth. Good luck with everything!

All non-emergency surgery is called "elective" surgery, including life-saving surgery such as for cancer. (Which one hopes even the nasty judgemental posters on this thread consider an acceptable use of NHS funds.)

"Elective" surgery simply means planned in advance as opposed to emergency. It doesn't mean "optional frivolity" .

Maybe people should check their facts before making disgusting judgemental comments.

I had two natural births, one of them at home. For me, even in my late thirties, it was not a difficult thing to do and although the first labour was long there was nothing horrendous about either of them and the experience was quite enjoyable. But we must all do what we think will suit us best and if you have ad nothing but horror stories from friends then for you an EC might suit you best. There is nothing wrong with making your own choices on this point. Births are a bit like weddings. A wedding is just one day, it is the marriage that is important. The birth is only a matter of hours but you will have 18 years of direct parenting then, that is the important bit.

C-section is classed as MAJOR abdominal surgery, with 6 weeks before you should drive. 3-4 days in hospital after the surgery.

I had an 'elective' C-section - it was not elective because my baby was breech, so the chances of baby surviving a 'normal' birth were considerably lower than normal. So 'normal' birth would have endangered baby's and mother's lives.

I still had people who had complications of 'normal' birth having digs at me that I was lucky that I didn't have to any surgery to fix the complications of 'normal' births.

- I had already had one major abdominal surgery so it was going to take some pretty major surgery to win that argument! Did their operation to fix the complications of 'normal' surgery involve 3-4 days in-patient recovery followed by 6 weeks not allowed to drive? I don't think so.

C-section is definitely not an easy option, it is not cheating. It carries significant risks of wound infection and subsequent surgical site tearing if any future pregnancies are delivered 'normally'. You will likely get a disfiguring 'step' above the surgical line if you put on weight.

On top of that, recovering from this MAJOR abdominal surgery while having just given brought a baby into the world is very much harder than recovering from major surgery at any other time.

And as for pelvic floor, it has been scientifically demonstrated that a lot of the damage to the pelvic floor is caused by carrying around a baby the size of a bowling ball for many months and women who have had a C-section are just as likely to suffer it because it is not solely caused by the 'normal' vaginal birth. The weight of the baby inside you causes much of the pelvic floor injury.

Having said all that, psychological terror of vaginal birth is certainly a thing and understandable. I personally was terrified of a 12 inch hole being cut across me to remove a baby out of my abdomen and the recovery from this surgery. Have you considered hypnotherapy to try to overcome the fear of the birth?

Thank you!

I haven't told my family that I haha chosen an elective cesarean, there is far too much stigma "oh they are too posh to push" I personally just don't want a vaginal birth I have a mind block and I can't do it, I'm ok with this though.

Can I just add my two pence here?

Nothing wrong if you want an elective c section, however I had two epidurals for both my babies.

My first birth was pretty traumatic and I wanted an epidural but Dr put it in very very late but it was then incredible.

My second birth I said straight away I wanted epidural and had it around 5cm it was the most amazing birth.

I was able to attend my baby easily where as all the women on my ward had c sections and couldn't get up to get their baby from the cribs.

I honestly think epidural is the best of both worlds, still experienced contractions, still felt babies come out but no pain, recovered easily and was running about and driving a day or so later.

Best of luck with whatever you choose but remember who cares what people think as long as your baby is safe in your arms!

i don’t live in the UK but almost every medical professional I know - including my own obstetrician and gynaecologist - have chosen elective c-sections. Me too. I would have needed them anyway, but at least I was mentally prepared for them and it wasn’t a huge disappointment for me.