To ask why having an elective C-Section is so frowned upon?

[Rosesandbutterflys]

I am (hopefully) having an elective C-Section soon. First baby, don't want anymore children after.

I've always had a fear of child birth, which over the past 5 years has been compounded by a lot of people around me having children and the vast majority of these (though I appreciate I'm probably unlucky here) have been pretty traumatic births that have ended in severe tears, forceps and a lot of the time, an emergency section anyway. Granted their experiences have mostly been better on their second birth/ child.

Nothing and I truly mean nothing about natural childbirth/ labour appeals to me. Not the hours of pain, pushing, potential rips/ tears, forcep intervention, epidural (yes I appreciate I'd have one of these for a section), damage of my pelvic floor and the panic and stress of potentially having to be rushed to theatre because it just wasn't going to happen naturally and the baby is in distress or whatever.

Now don't get me wrong, nothing about a c-section appeals to me either, it's absolutely no walk in the park and I'm dreading it, but it has to come out some way and I am a person that likes to plan things and to somewhat be in control/ aware of the plan. I have also had abdominal surgery before (though not as severe as a C-section) and I know recovery is likely to be painful and slower than if I were to have a natural birth. But for me, this is the preferred/ lesser of the 2 evils option.

I have also spent hours pouring over research as to the benefits of a vaginal birth over a c-section and last night came across a NICE/ NHS study/ research that found that actually, for a planned/ elective c-section, the risk to the mother of a c-section compared to a vaginal birth is pretty much the same. It states that the risk of the baby ending up in NICU with a C-section is 13.9% compared to a vaginal birth which is 6.3%, so double the risk, BUT it says the research does not take into account the fact that most c-sections undertaken are for medical reasons and therefore the likelihood of the baby needing NICU attention after it's born is increased anyway.

It then went on to say that the risks of an unplanned, emergency C-Section are a lot higher than a natural birth/ elective/ planned C-Section. So I guess if each woman was guaranteed to have a straightforward, natural birth, then great, but a lot of women do end up needing an emergency c-section so, technically they are more at risk than someone who has chosen an elective.

This now seems like I am bashing natural delivery and I'm not at all I totally admire and respect women that chose that route, I only wish I were that brave.

However, the responses I have had from people my whole pregnancy when I have admitted I am opting for an elective C-section have been ridiculous. Not one person has responded positively, all I've had is 'Oh, really? Are you sure??' and 'Oh, why on earth would you elect to have that?' etc etc. Or just a stony faced, tight smile and 'oh right' making it clear they disapprove but not actually coming out and saying it.

I got told last night that the reason I'm getting these reactions is because a C-section is 'taking the easy way out '😕

If that's the case, why on earth wouldn't you? Why is it that it seems the prerequisite to being a good mother is seemingly having to martyr yourself all the time?

So many of my friends that have had children and also the women in my NCT class who are preparing for their births have all expressed dismay/ distress at having to have any pain relief, they all want it to be as natural as possible and I know my friends that haven't had 'textbook' births still harbour 'guilt' and sadness to this day. Why? If you need gas and air or an epidural, so what? What exactly am I missing? If they ended/end up with forceps or an emergency section, it's not their fault, it's just one of those things. Surely modern medicine has provided these things to make childbirth safer?

Anyway, gone off on a tangent now but if you disapprove of someone having an elective c-section, could you tell me why?

Some people just like to judge and share their opinions no matter what you do. When people asked where I was going to have my baby and I said I was planning a homebirth with a pool, some said they thought it was reckless and taking a massive risk. A locum GP told me it was ‘absolute madness’ (It really wasn’t. I’d had a quick, textbook first birth, an easy pregnancy and lived 10 minutes from the hospital).

It was the right choice for me just as yours is the right choice for you. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.

Welcome to motherhood! The judgement starts in pregnancy!

I think people (other women?) want all women too endure/suffer through the same (usually awful) experience that they had.

I recall reading an article surveying OBGYNs in the USA 15-20 years ago. The vast majority said that they would choose a c-section for themselves or encourage their partners to choose a c-section.

I figured they actually knew what they were talking about.

People are equally as strange if you want a HB despite research showing it is safe and is cheaper to NHS.

It's anything against the norm really.

If you can get an elective C-Section and it's the right route for you then stop discussing it with people not directly involved in your care and do what's best for you - have an none committal stock answer.

Or we could start funding maternity services properly? NHS underfunding isn't caused by women wanting sections. Somehow as a society we've decided that giving women choice and dignity and sufficient support in childbirth is not something we're prepared to fund. How that's happened I have no idea, but the blame doesn't lie with a woman for asking for what she wants.

This is not factually correct. An Anaesthetic consultant is specifically rota'd for the Materity ward at all times, they are not taken from any other department - that is their area for working.

Selfish? How can it be more or less selfish then attending a labour ward, needing multiple midwives, consultants and then ending up in an emergency c-section anyway?

Your point is rude, and not even factually correct.

I’ve had two c sections. First one was emergency, second elective. I don’t think anyone judged me and I certainly didn’t get your reactions which i find rather odd. Although I don’t think I would have given a shit if I had - it’s no one else’s business.

I would just say this. Are we as a society ready for this to be available to every single pregnant woman who gives birth? Sometimes things can have minimal effect on society when there are relatively small numbers, but if think about it, what would happen if overnight every woman wanted an elective section? Would we be ok with allocating money and resources for this and taking them away from other needs? That's part of how society judges actions. There's nothing wrong with your decision but if you get into it, it's about priorities

If you’re female and you break the rules, a
other rule-abiding females will judge you harder than any man
In this context the rules are “as a female, particularly as a mum, we must cease to be a person, be a martyr, be in pain and I WENT THROUGH IT SO YOU HAVE TO SUFFER AS WELL!”

So maybe a bit of jealousy? I do feel a bit bitter about my experience and that someone who had a CS won’t understand my troubles.

Having had 2 c sections and 7 vaginal deliveries imo c sections are far worse but also safer for the baby overall. It should be a woman's choice what she does re childbirth and if it hadn't been for a really lovely midwife on delivery 17 months ago I reckon I would have been bullied into trying for a vaginal delivery I didn't want, with interventions I didn't want. My recovery from the c section though was hard! 20yrs previously when they gave out proper pain relief and strong high quality anti-inflammatory drugs my recovery was much less painful. I don't believe it was my age that made the difference.

I think people (other women?) want all women too endure/suffer through the same (usually awful) experience that they had.

This is interesting because I thought it might be the opposite. Women like me who had a really, really positive experience of vaginal birth are sad to think others will miss out on such an amazing experience.

Please note, this is not something I’ve ever said (or would ever say) to an expectant mother! I’m well aware that I was really lucky to have such a positive experience. I wish every woman could experience it but I know that’s not realistic.

But I do think that some women who’ve had such an experience can get evangelical about it. I sort of get why but I don’t think they should. 😬

Why is it frowned upon? The belief that it's the 'easy way out' based on the misogynistic idea that women are meant to suffer during childbirth. See also the belief that a giving birth vaginally with pain relief is a cop out compared to no pain intervention at all.

Completely agree.

I also dislike when people say the NHS is free. It isn't. It is deducted from our wages in tax...

I've had an elective section, an emergency section, home birth, an induction, a homebirth, an emergency transfer from home to hospital and a straightforward hospital birth. Personally I found the elective c-section to be the worst birth of the lot but that's just my opinion and experience. There are lots of other things that other people choose to do that I would rather not do as well, doesn't mean they are wrong.

I wouldn't judge you for having an elective c-section at all but that's not what I would choose. Although in the unlikely event of me being pregnant again I admit I would choose an elective c-section but that's because it would be the safest option for the baby.

Interesting how ‘pointed’ some of the responses are here - for example ‘do what you want but you’re selfish’, ‘most women want to avoid their child end in up on NICU’ (ignoring this stat is based on a lot of c-sections being emergencies and for premature babies so making the decision of c-section v natural for this reason is bonkers!). Just come out and say you’re judging the op and other women who have planned c-sections guys!!

Also the ‘don’t tell anyone’ - why shouldn’t she be able to have a normal conversation about her birth plan? Why do you posters think she needs to hide that she’s getting a c-section?

I had a conversation about it the other day where someone was horrified I was getting a planned section. It came up in context of asking what the plan was for my puppy when I go into labour and I explained as it was planned dog would be going to family before the date but I’d a bag ready with his stuff in case I went into labour before then. I didn’t realise it was my job to lie so I wouldn’t have to listen to this person being judgemental. Maybe women could learn not to be so judgemental instead??

I don’t think a cs is the easy way out. I had both a grade 2 emcs and a VBAC and the VBAC was easier apart from the 2 hours of pushing. The episiotomy healed quicker and better than the cs scar (didn’t have any problems with it).
I couldn’t have avoided the emcs and I did book an elcs with number two but went into labour early. There can be long term issues with both types of birth so basically all women can do is weigh up the options and choose the best one for them

In this circumstance the risks to you are greater with caesarean than vaginal birth, and you will find yourself recovering from major surgery whilst trying to parent a newborn. That's likely the reason people look a little surprised at your choice. That doesn't mean of course that it isn't a valid choice.

www.nbt.nhs.uk/maternity-services/labour-birth/caesarean-birth/risks-having-a-caesarean-birth

I may need a planned c section and have no intention to listen to the opinion of anyone other than the Obstetrician over my plans for birth.

@jellybeansandthings think about the cost of future medical care and surgical intervention many women need after a vaginal birth. It is not the cheaper option when you take this into consideration.

The whole of parenthood is judged - do what is best for you.
For me, I avoided a c section, my closest friends did not. That is their choice.
I'm still bf a 19m toddler, often frowned upon. Couldn't give a sh*t. If my child is developing well and healthy/happy/well cared for then it's no one's business.

OP, the decision is yours and nothing to do with anyone else.

I had a elective caesarean with my second child, due to a traumatic natural birth with my first.

The natural birth recovery was actually much easier. I wish I'd tried a natural birth instead.

@Rosesandbutterflys in your OP you said:
"last night came across a NICE/ NHS study/ research that found that actually, for a planned/ elective c-section, the risk to the mother of a c-section compared to a vaginal birth is pretty much the same."

Could you give a link to the study you found please?

I am 26 weeks and asked my midwife last week if I could talk to someone about the option of an ELCS (not requesting one at this point, just needed to chat about the possibility) and she was very resistant to the idea, she immediately listed all the risks of c-sections without acknowledging any risks of vaginal birth. If there is NHS research out there that is balanced and objective, I'd really like to see it! Thank you!

Any unnecessary surgery should be private. But I've no problem at all with people choosing a c section, other than that, it's not my business how other people give birth. But when my children were small I'd always steer clear of conversations about birth. Thankfully it's only a minority that seem to want to know all the details!

I wish I had trusted my instincts and pushed for an ELCS. It would have saved me from a traumatic labour which ended in surgery anyway (forceps - 2 different kinds) resulting in life changing birth injuries.

Be safe in the knowledge that you have made a positive decision and be confident in your choice.

I've had 2 ELCS, my first baby I discovered while doing NCT that she was transverse. She never budged and I spent 2 weeks in hospital followed by a CS. I have never come across anyone in real life who 'disapproved' of it or who said anything judgemental to me about it. All my friends are of the opinion that the baby needs to come out one way or another and it's none of their business how anyone else gives birth.

I will say though it's laughable that a group of people who have never been in labour before could be 'dismayed' by having pain relief. Most of them will be begging for it as soon as labour starts and a few will probably have a C-section too. And that's okay.

If you have a truly natural birth it's definitely worth it. My third was a very pleasurable experience, no intervention and my body telling me exactly what to do like the books say. But you do you, no need to think about what other people think about it.

Absolutely everything you’ve said @wonderwoman26

Selfish? What a load of utter, utter bollocks