It is not ok for kids to drink alcohol

[Really123456789]

Is it really only me that thinks it is absolutely not ok for teenagers to drink?

I’m lucky my kid doesn’t want to yet (14) but all friends have started and only conversation is how pissed them what to get on Friday. Getting kid down! And feeling like has no friends like them anymore.

In my opinion it is absolutely not ok. Rest of life to drink. Do parents think it is really ok? Feeling sad that kids aren’t realising they have a choice to say no!

In theory you do your best to keep your teenager safe and encourage sensible outlooks but teenagers are known to be impulsive, they are individuals and your OP very much suggests that they think, feel and act in the same way and we can therefore apply a solution that fits all. In reality things come in to play that influences the varying degrees of choices they make about alcohol - I would imagine peer influence is greater than parental at 15, where you live and readily available all temptations are, genetic propensities. I think it is simplistic to suggest parents can dictate and control the actions of a 15 + year old.

Cannabis and alcohol are different though. As alcohol is legal to be bought from 18 it's much easier for teens to get hold of and experiment with.

I have a hard line on drugs because taking dodgy ones can kill you ( much more easily than alcohol) and because the repercussions to your future are so much more severe- likely expulsion from school, potential criminal record etc.

We bought DS 15 a couple of cans of cider for NYE. As it turns out he didn't drink them because I bought the WRONG type of fruit cider , but I honestly can't see what the harm is.

Yeah, at some point your child will be on their own with their peers and you just have to hope they will be sensible, whether it's crossing the road or trying alcohol or being offered weed. It's terrifying really, being a parent! Especially if you can clearly remember being a teenager yourself.

I think that's a really good point. And of course we don't know whether our teens are going to be the type to experiment lots. But if they are like that then drinking while their brain is still developing will be very bad for them. To me that means I don't want to risk my DC drinking before adulthood.

It is isn't it?

Yeah not naive enough to think I can stop her drinking but I’m not going to actively encourage it / endorse it either.

I agree we can't control them. All we can do is give them the information and tools to tackle life. For me, I imagine I worry more about the genetic propensity as my DC's grandfather is an alcoholic and I also heavily misused alcohol as a teen (despite parents giving me alcohol). I have explained this all to my teen. Ultimately, as we can't know if our DC do have that genetic propensity and if they do drinking while their brain is developing will be particularly bad for them I feel it is best to encourage them to avoid alcohol when young.

Parents can't 'dictate' what any teenager does, nor should we attempt to golden but there is a world of difference between banning alcohol and not encouraging early use.

I doubt many parents are hard line, and it won't happen in my house type of thing, but equally supportive of healthy bodies and minds, and making good choices. If you have teens that are not interested in drinking, then don't introduce it! Respect their decision, and allow them to choose. Not every teen whats to get leathered and legless. Many are very sensible, intelligent and responsible, others too cool to drink - thats for the over 50s crowd of drunks etc. Teens are all different, and not elevating and glamourising alcohol will go a long way in allowing your child to experience a different life, one of perhaps more meaning than getting plastered on a Friday night.

Culturally we are riddled with drink, and it can be quite toxic, and good on the young people of today that can see it for what it is, in a clear eyed way. It is not about inflicting our choices and conditioning on them, it is for teens to work out if they want to, and if it is for them - and having the space to do so in their own time without the pressure of early drinking in the home. Rant over.

As discussed, the harm is the effect on the developing brain. If a DC has a genetic propensity to alcohol misuse (which of course we don't know), drinking at a young age could be very harmful.

If I am a case study of one, I would say early drinking total wrecks your memory - and at a very early age (40s) What did you say again <forgot your name>?

I agree. My teen learns about responsible drinking from seeing what I do. I only drink now and again mainly on special occasions. And I only ever have a couple so I stick to the NHS guidelines and don't binge drink. I don't need to introduce teen drinking in order for him to learn that. However, as with all things ultimately, the decision will be his.

Modelling good habits help your teenagers drink responsibly. I follow my parents in this. I was always allowed an alcoholic (diluted) drink with a sit down meal. I was much younger than 14. I believe it's in line with the law in this country.

I don't have issue with children drinking alcohol in supervised moderation with a meal.

I think if the forbidden excitement has been removed they are less likely to go off the rails. It's not a lure.

Although I enjoy wine with my meal, both my adult children very rarely drink alcohol. It's always been available to them with meals since they were younger.

They are strong supporters of climate change and healthy practices. Getting drunk or anything to do with vaping or smoking is avoided by them.

No, you're not the only one. Because alcohol is legal, we tend to underestimate what a dangerous drug it really is. Professor David Nutt, who is an expert, said that if alcohol were invented tomorrow it would be classed in the same group as heroin and crack cocaine!! Personally, I would rather live in a society in which you could buy ecstasy from licensed shops but alcohol was illegal. Thankfully, the young seem to drink far less than my generation. Good for them. I hate Britain's drinking culture. And I hated the oafish, beer-swilling laddism I grew up with in the 1990s.

You don't know what it has done to brain capacity, that is the point.

The medical advice is not to drink in teenage years whilst the brain is developing because it is harmful.

I have no idea what impact my past drinking has had on me either, no one does.

Acknowledging they would be drinking alcohol when at friends' houses and under 18, we persuaded them that it would be better to stick with beer, rather than passing off vodka as water and knocking that back neat. It's no fun going from stone cold sober to falling down drunk in no time, and certainly isn't pretty. When I went to a drugs awareness evening at secondary school a few years ago, it was a wake up call to realise the most dangerous of all the drugs is alcohol, because it's so easily accessible, and socially acceptable, but can make you do the most dangerously, stupid things.

I witnessed an EX friend give her daughter 3 bottles of wkd at a bbq when she was 10. She's now 15 and going on nights out with said mum drinking double g&t's. Yes social services are involved.

Exactly. And it was normal to drink drive in France in the 1990s when it was already frowned upon in the U.K.

I've heard the same (that it is actually harmful to introduce alcohol at home to teenagers). It's just normalising drinking. Agree that encouraging healthier pursuits is a better way of steering them away from alcohol.

Swayingpalmtrees, I don't think I was suggesting extremes and I didn't refer to 'dictating'. Incidentally, there are quite a few parents that fall in to that category maybe not 'dictators' but certainly delusional over the control they can assert on mid to older teens who are heading towards, if not arrived at young adulthood! I am referring to the behavior of teens when they are with their peers. I am not in my 50s, early 40s and I would say there is a difference in the outlook of 40 year olds and 50+ year olds. My DH is 40 and when he goes out for drinks after work, those his age and younger certainly are inclined to have a non alcoholic beer but this is a trendy part of London and the outlook is quite healthy. However, I'm still not convinced this will hugely influence my eldest who is 15 when he is in that moment with friends etc. I hope so. Where I live there is quite a buzzing social life for teens as we have a beach, nice parks near the schools. It is a sociable place and I think that presents more times a teenager will be around their peers particularly in the summer! If you live in a conservative area where your life is mostly at home then I would imagine you would find it easier to have that influence on your teen.

I had parents that didn't really drink, my Dad would drink red wine but never spirits, my Mum was very much a herbal tea kind of person so I wasn't around drink at all but I really did drink loads when I was year 13 and at uni!

We are probably all behind the times - my friends with wilder teens than mine aren’t actually fretting about alcohol at all but ecstasy and ket 😔😲

Well most drug are illegal and my brother almost died from an overdose so no.

Illegal or not, kids are doing it. Surely it’s all about them being safe, or it isn’t. It isn’t legal for them to drink underage when they are out. It isn’t legal for you to buy alcohol for them. So for the vast majority of drinking teens there is an element of illegality to it.

As for smoking I think it's more addictive than drinking. Most people smoke more than they drink daily and what teen can afford it?

Tell that to alcoholics. And plenty of people only smoke a few cigarettes a day. Vaping is also cheaper.

This!! How can parents 'teach children to drink responsibly' when they think regularly drinking half a bottle of wine or more at home is normal?

@MsTSwift @Swayingpalmtrees

Agree with both your posts!

My parents were alcoholics and so as a teenager I didn't really want much to do with alcohol.

But after going through a bad patch mentally in my early/mid 20s, alcohol became a crutch and because regular heavy drinking at home had been normalised, I was in denial that I had a problem for a long time.

I'm pretty much teetotal now and DH rarely drinks (and hardly ever at home).

I don't want my DC growing up thinking that it's normal to drink alcohol at home on a regular basis.

Like a PP says, I'm not going to ban it or make it a forbidden fruit, but rather make it inconsequential. And hopefully this will be helped by the shift in young people not wanting to drink and there will be a culture change 🙏

If the friends are saying that, then their parents aren't teaching them to drink, because teaching them to drink is intended to avoid precisely that.