It is not ok for kids to drink alcohol

[Really123456789]

Is it really only me that thinks it is absolutely not ok for teenagers to drink?

I’m lucky my kid doesn’t want to yet (14) but all friends have started and only conversation is how pissed them what to get on Friday. Getting kid down! And feeling like has no friends like them anymore.

In my opinion it is absolutely not ok. Rest of life to drink. Do parents think it is really ok? Feeling sad that kids aren’t realising they have a choice to say no!

Sounds like your son is in with a wild set op. My 15 year old sees friends but doesn’t go to parties or drink - he needs to find a more like minded group.

What research was that, @MsTSwift ? I've read quite a bit that says the opposite eg:

But they don’t ‘binge’, do they?
C’est vrai. School-age French children are among the lowest binge drinkers in Europe. Just 16 percent of French 15–16 year olds reported binge drinking in June this year. UK and Denmark rates are more than double that. But youth drinking is on the rise in France, with beer and alcopops driving the increase. [5]

Perhaps I had better get my DH to look for me 😆

Personally knowing how I was at 14 I’m amazed my teen isn’t showing any interest at all, or her friends.

I used to be one of those teenagers. Now I have a drink once a week if that.

From where I’m standing teens seem to be much more conservative (small c) than the previous generation. All my kids friends are more focused on study and politics than drink and sex. They’re 14.

I was shocked with dd1 how many parents supply their young teen with lots and lots of alcohol at parties, and encouraged a drinking culture very very early on.
I don't see this as teaching children to drink responsibly, surely teens not wanting to drink should be encouraged and celebrated. As a result dd stopped going to parties and just opted out. Many teens are simply not interested and see it as very old school and would choose not to drink.

Over the years she has found a new set of gorgeous friends with the same values as her, and enjoys well being stuff like hiking, yoga and working out. Your dc need to stay true to themselves, and find their tribe and not feel pressurised by others.

14 is way too young, at the earliest we would introduce a glass of wine would be 17 probably. My nieces went down the so called continental route of early introduction and have ended up with drink problems. I don't think it translates very well here!!

Teach dc to have the confidence to say no. Alcohol is a toxic poisonous chemical after all, it is okay to look after yourself and enjoy your life without it.

tired Our teens here are the same, more into vegetarianism and climate change and studying than wild drinking.

Dh researches stuff when we have a teen parenting dilemma he found that research and it made sense to us.

We drink at home so can’t be hypocrites and aren’t Victorian super strict parents but we do not encourage our teens to try it or supply them with it or be fun giggly “no rules in this house” type parents. We say do it if you must but it’s illegal. Dd1 is nearly 16 sure she has tried some when out and about but it’s not a big thing for her.

Getting drunk or drinking without adults is not ok at 14

A small glass of wine at dinner with the family is ok m

This is not comparable because drinking culture across France is different, so the drinking role modelling is completely different. You need to look at UK only studies really.

In the UK, the biggest influence on whether your children drink is parental drinking behaviour. Obviously this is not a hard and fast rule but if you are a bit of a wine o'clock type, it is more likely your kids will drink early and drink more.

Lots of the people who say they are 'teaching their children to drink responsibly' are actually just 'teaching their children to drink'.

The UK evidence shows that overall it is better to just not encourage drinking, either by buying it or by drinking a lot yourself.

It's ok for teenagers 18+. It's not ok for younger teenagers but they've always done it and always will. I don't understand why parents allow younger teenagers to drink.

There is a huge difference between getting plastered and parents not caring to drinking a small glass with a meal.

DD is allowed to have a drink since she is 13/14. She likes some sweeter ciders, a mimosa or a tiny glass of Pimms. She is not into beer, wine or plain procecco.

She may have something 4-5x a year, more in Summer than Winter, hardly each weekend and always with food and never during the school week.

In my opinion a lot safer than letting her go when she is 16 to a big party and needing to sober her up the next day because she has no idea what alcohol does.

Look at other countries with different laws. In Germany where teens can get a glass of wine or beer with a meal in a restaurant if the parents are there as well, you don't have the binge culture you have here.

I think how you drink as an adult is entirely based on culture and peer group and absolutely nothing to do with whether your parents were strict about it or not.

I agree, it is simply and literally teaching your child to drink.

Responsibly or otherwise it is not like introducing thai food or exotic fruit but an entrenched and unhealthy culture.

If they start at 13 they will have had no chance to weigh up if they even want to drink or not, the parental expectation that they automatically will is quite disturbing and takes away the child's autotomy to decide for themselves.

Teens have developing bodies and brains, why would anyone want to encourage something so toxic on the off chance they may or may not go to a party at 16.

It is a British thing based on fear that their child will be the one to pass out at the first party they go to, it is unfounded and does not give adequate respect to the teenagers today, that are much better informed than we ever were!

Early drinking role modelling/family drinking behaviour is a big factor, peer group influences of course can affect but are less entrenched.

Children of alcoholics are statistically much more likely to become adult alcoholics.
Children of non-drinkers are statistically much more likely to become adult non-drinkers.

Parents set the tone.

Unfortunately, getting plastered with friends is a rite of passage. Not desirable at 14, but by 16 - inevitable.

My now young adult DC barely drink.
My pov was that if they were going to become insensible due to alcohol, I'd rather it was locally while at home rather than when they were away at uni. They saw friends vomiting from alcohol, a neighbours child being taken away from a club by ambulance because of the drugs they had taken etc and it put them off no end. One DD changed her friendship group at 16 as so bored of listening to friends going on about what drugs they had bought and then spending a night with people who were completely out of it on ket etc.
Alcohol and drugs are so common in teens that I don't think it's possible to avoid them.
I talked to them about how to get rid of their alcoholic drinks if they didn't want too much at a party
it's difficult to know what's best - they both could have gone the other way.
DD2 recently told me that a friend from her mid teens has liver failure.

Absolutely swaying

My ds is 16 and has been drinking at parties at home and friends homes for the past year or so.

We are all of the mind that we would rather they do it in the open in our homes with responsible adults present than out on the streets. They don’t get blind drunk but the play music and have fun. We leave them to it as much as possible but they know we are there if we need them. I’ve only had to get involved once when one of the girls was a bit sick. I took her for some fresh air and water and she was right as rain.

The kids generally behave because we’ve all spoken to them and they know that if they overdo it they may lose the privilege of having their little parties at home. Personally I think this is far more sensible than sending an 18 year old off to uni with no experience of the effects of alcohol and no understanding of how to drink responsibly.

My parents have always has alcohol in the house and were not strict. We were allowed to drink at home

I still went out and got plastered age 14 snd never really learned to be responsible until i had kids of my own to look after

There’s no good evidence to support the common notion that introducing children to alcohol at home helps them drink responsibly in adulthood (although there are studies that suggest it is actually harmful)

This. I was introduced to alcohol "responsibly" and I'm an addict.

People forget it's an extremely addictive. If your brain's reward system is set up in a certain way it doesn't matter how you're introduced to it.

Why would anyone automatically assume the minute students step foot on campus they will automatically drink. This is your conditioning doing the talking/and I might add more worrying making very early decisions - not your teen's choice/experience/values. It is worrying that parents are literally expecting teens to drink and turn their homes into party zones to facilitate, without as much as a conversation about whether they even want to or not, and exploring the alternatives.

Going to uni does not mean you automatically get lashed on impact, and therefore your child needs three or four years of intense preparation in the form of free flowing alcohol to 'ready' them for uni. Seriously this is very 1980s thinking.
More people need to question their own conditioning around alcohol, societal pressure and the unhealthy expectation that ALL teens will be blind drunk sooner or later is really misplaced

Statistical evidence does not show this to be the case.

It is not inevitable and parents can do a lot to encourage 'not drinking' if they wish to.

I know a 15 year old girl who drinks gin every single day with her mother and grandmother like it’s normal.

She drinks around 20 units a week by my calculation.

THAT is messed up.

Well done. How saintly you are your kid are. Give yourself a cookie.

The idea that parents 'teach' their children how to drink responsibly and that it's some sort of 'skill' is absolutely laughable. At 14 your kids friends will have far, far more influence over their behaviour. I had the whole range in my friendship group - from parents totally against it, to those who were ok with a little to those who were very permissive. And as a group we went to parties and got plastered from 15 because that's what our group did and there was huge pressure and desire to be part of it.

Forget teaching your kids to drink responsibly by giving them tasters - you just get them used to the taste of it sooner (found that with all my friends). What you need to be teaching them is to have strong boundaries, be able to say no, and to be able to stand up to peer pressure - even so unless they're really against alcohol the chances are they won't want to be left out. What happens in France/Spain/Italy is a complete red herring as their drinking culture is completely different.

I completely agree. I have looked into this and the effect alcohol can have on a developing brain . I really disagree with giving DC alcohol 'to get them used to it' or whatever. My DPs brought round a bottle of Babycham the other day. Apparently my mum was given it to drink at Christmas from age 7. I didn't give any to my 10yo and 15yo. Luckily, the 15 yo isn't interested in drinking (yet). But he knows why I don't want him to have a drink until he is 18 and agrees. Obviously, peer pressure may come into it at one point.