It is not ok for kids to drink alcohol

[Really123456789]

Is it really only me that thinks it is absolutely not ok for teenagers to drink?

I’m lucky my kid doesn’t want to yet (14) but all friends have started and only conversation is how pissed them what to get on Friday. Getting kid down! And feeling like has no friends like them anymore.

In my opinion it is absolutely not ok. Rest of life to drink. Do parents think it is really ok? Feeling sad that kids aren’t realising they have a choice to say no!

But making cider /any alcohol forbidden makes it more appealing to teenagers. Better for them to learn to drink responsibly at home then getting smashed at the park the minute you turn your back.

Think my parents were about right on this. They liked their wine but didn’t encourage us to drink or teach us that it’s normal or expected us to drink or assumed that we would be drinking. Turned a blind eye to our 16 plus social drinking with friends.

So not “banning” it like some Victorian but not the matey matey “have some booze darling I’m so down with the kids” approach either.

My teen is 14. He gets offered the occasional drink at home.

I don't want him thinking alcohol is this mysterious and exciting thing. I don't want him going off and getting passed in a field.

But why would you offering him alcohol at home stop him getting pissed in a field? Such odd logic!

If anything the reverse is true!

Teaching children to drink responsibly is about teaching them to have the confidence not to drink at 14 when alchol can impact teenage health and development or get them into difficult situations.

Children drink at that age as they think they need to do it to fit in with their peers, the best thing parents can teach their children is they can fit in without drinking.

Giving them alcohol underage and thinking you are teaching them how to drink responsibility is laughable. How do you actually teach a child their alcohol tolerance or how not to succumb to peer pressure while drinking unsupervised by giving them a couple of beers?

Why are people describing alcohol as 'mysterious', 'exciting', 'forbidden fruit'?

Seriously, the issue lies with the parents that consider a glass containing the equivalent of paint stripper is somehow sexy and exciting. It is not, it is essentially just paint stripper than anyone can drink if they so minded. Nothing amazing, special or elusive about it.

Elevating the status of drinking indirectly with language like this IS harmful.

But making cider /any alcohol forbidden makes it more appealing to teenagers.

The same is true of sex, and drugs, smoking/vaping. Are you planning on letting teens do any of those “in moderation”?

In my experience what appeals most to teenagers is identifying themselves as being completely different to their parents generation.

Which is where being a bloated unfit drinker, that loves sex and rock and roll comes into it own. Along the lines of Saffron from Ab Fab. You can literally model terrible behaviour for an outcome of fit, healthy non drinking meditating teens. Win win.

Not saying that is how I did it however, but you get my drift.

If drinking seems 'old news' and for the less cool in society most teens will drop it like a stone (as they doing in droves) Its now cool not to drink like your Mum in our circles, they are marking themselves out as different because they are not going along with society's expectations of them.

news.sky.com/story/dramatic-decline-in-teenage-drinking-seen-across-the-uk-report-finds-11509092

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/10/young-people-drinking-alcohol-study-england#:~:text=A%20large%20proportion%20of%20young,completely%2C%20a%20study%20has%20suggested.

I also think many modern parents are very involved with their dc, and listen to them, care deeply and offer support well in adulthood. Most parenting styles are more discussion based and do not contain very strict rules, but openness and transparency.

So maybe the 'need' to drink and rebel is less because teens have deeper connections to their families, access to support, and talk openly about their feelings with friends. On the surface it seems like a healthier generation in that respect, with less violence, anger and agitation between generations (accepting some families still have this) It is a combination of better education around the risks to drinking that starts early in schools, seeing drinking as not cool anymore - a shift in values and warmer families that are more present.

Friends had a joint 50th and 18th. The 50 somethings were the ones with raging hangovers the next day - the 18 year olds barely drank.

Absolutely not inevitable.
DS1 (almost 18) has tried a lick of froth grin his grandads beer when he was about 2. (I was rather cross when I found out.) He's had a communion wafer dipped in red wine, and a sip of my hot chocolate with a shot of Malibu in, both of which he said were gross. Definitely never been plastered.

DS2 (15) has had a sip of a fruit cider, said he preferred juice/lemonade and that's all.

The 50 somethings were the ones with raging hangovers the next day - the 18 year olds barely drank

When you think about it, what teen wants to be modelling an ageing balding 50 year old getting plastered doing his dad dancing! It is enough to put them off for life

Note to self at next 50th!!!

There is no one size fits all. There is no framework, which proves teaching sensible drinking involves abstention or moderate drinking. Neither of my parents were drinkers. I was allowed the occasional sweet liquor in a sherry glass from age 10. I suppose they thought this was sensible. Maybe. By 15 I was getting drunk and at 16, wildly depressed I could down a pint in one and drink guys under the table.

My dd is in yr9. She tried alcohol at a friend’s house a few months ago - the mum asked me if it was ok. I reluctantly said a small amount. I was pretty sure dd would not like it. She’s fussy with flavours and thankfully I was correct. Dd then asked me to buy her Sourz a couple of months ago. I said no. I don’t want her drinking.

At 13, I got drunk on Bacardi and sicked it back up again. This didn’t stop me from going on to drinking as I explained above. I got blind drunk and have had hangovers and been sick many times. So no, I don’t want dd drinking.

I was allowed a small drink here and there from 13/14. New year or on holiday but never more than 2-3. I actually hate the taste of alcohol and rarely drink (like a cocktail as the taste is disguised). I didn’t get regularly off my face as a teenager abs knew my limits and what effect alcohol had on me before being let loose at 18.

Other kids who were never allowed to touch it were the ones blacking out, throwing up, fighting and getting into rather dodgy scenarios.

alcohol is prob the most readily available, socially acceptable drug teens are likely to come across. teenagers are
likely to take chances, push boundaries and challenge authority and norms. preaching abstinence whether we are talking about underage sex or alcohol has very limited success. accepting that a high proportion will do these thing before the legal age and teaching safe practices is much more helpful and pragmatic.

I highly doubt their parents know they are doing this or are supplying so much alcohol.

As someone who drank at that age we all bought the booze ourselves and got drunk on the sly. Your best bet is to try and find out which shop is selling it to kids (there's always a few) and reporting them.

Well most drug are illegal and my brother almost died from an overdose so no. As for smoking I think it's more addictive than drinking. Most people smoke more than they drink daily and what teen can afford it?
As for sex obviously I'd prefer she didn't but we have precautions in place that will hopefully ensure she is safe and sensible. Just like with alcohol.
She's nearly 16 and don't think it's good to let them out on their own when they haven't experienced a little bit of life.
As I said I was drinking at her age, never got drunk and don't drink to excess now.

I started drinking at 14 and was regularly binge drinking by 16. I mostly quit drinking all together by 17 and now honestly just don’t drink very much at all. I suppose I got it out of my system early and realised it was quite boring. It doesn’t seem to have damaged my health, I’m 29 now and ok. I have the odd G&T on special occasions but I just view alcohol as empty calories so don’t bother often.

My parents allowed a little wine on a Sunday and we were allowed a beer or those alchopops on a weekend.

I think it’s teaching responsible drinking and makes it less exciting and naughty so kids are less likely to go out bingeing.

I drank a lot on weekends with friends aged 15/16.
My parents wouldn't have known, but I think I put myself in unsafe situations which I wouldn't want my child to be in.

I've lived in France for 20 years, have teenagers and can assure you that if you go to the centre of any university town on a Thursday night you will see plenty of drunk teenagers.
I don't know any families who let their under 18 kids drink alcohol on a regular basis from a young age. Maybe the bobo class but it certainly isn't the norm. It's water with meals here

The point I'm making is I can do exactly the same with my teen. I can still have a preference for him to not drink until an adult. It doesn't stop us being able to talk about alcohol in the same way we talk about all sorts of things.

I think if you're the type of teenager to want to get drunk and experiment you will regardless of your upbringing!

I was allowed to drink a small bit of wine or cider at home with dinner from 14 but I still went out and got drunk and sick behind my parent's back!

It didn't make any difference.

Do you also offer cannabis? So he doesn't see it as a mysterious and exciting thing and won't go and get stoned in a field.