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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think life is utterly boring

108 replies

josil · 26/04/2022 20:44

Please hear me out, my life is actually filed with lots of fun things yet I still find life boring!

I'm not looking for 'life is what you make it' trust me I make an extra effort to do fun extravagant things and keep busy but I still feel...bored.

I'm not suicidal may I add so please don't shift this to the mental health section.

I try to the gym most evenings or watch some good tv but I cannot shake the feeling.

I'm very busy and active person, the busiest I know - but I still feel really, really bored. I'm waiting for the feeling to pass but it's been here couple weeks now.

I'm not really looking for solutions I guess just empathy from others who feel/have felt similar.

OP posts:

Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 20:47

Sorry I should add I've had the feeling years, but it goes up and down in waves and the last episode has been a couple of weeks. Its painful riding through and I just wish there was a way for it to completely subside.

OP posts:

GOODCAT · 26/04/2022 20:49

Is it a feeling of a lack of purpose or something else?

BuddhaAtSea · 26/04/2022 20:50

How old are you?
I started feeling like that when I got peri menopausal. Oestrogen helped me no end.

Milknosugarta · 26/04/2022 20:50

I hear you. I am looking for a new activity for the summer, thinking of taking up tennis. (haven't played for a few years).
Maybe you need a challenge? A new hobby?

SpacePotato · 26/04/2022 20:51

Perhaps it's not the fun, extravagant things you need.

Would studying something new help? Something to get your brain interested in rather that all the physical activity?

BabCNesbitt · 26/04/2022 20:51

I completely understand what you mean, including the “up and down in waves”. For me, I suspect it’s a form of depression. My depression, when it comes, isn’t usually crying or misery; it’s just like all the colour gets drained from the world, and nothing seems worth the effort - everything just seems joyless. I just feel like I drag myself through the day, doing what needs to be done, the bare minimum. I’m going through one of these phases at the moment, and although rationally I know they pass, man, do they suck and seem endless at the time.

Sorry, no helpful advice, but YANBU!

the80sweregreat · 26/04/2022 20:57

It is very boring I think , overrated almost
Dh and I went on holiday for the first time in a long time and we had fun , we spoke to different people, tried new cocktails, had a laugh , it was like being young again ( sort of ) then we came home and it was all boring again ! Work, housework , bills , road works everywhere , dull dull dull!
I've no advice, but I understand where your coming from

carefullycourageous · 26/04/2022 21:00

I have a few thoughts on this.

Firstly if you are bored, that potentially (hopefully!) means you have no major stresses - if you had them you would be stressed not bored?

Secondly maybe your activities are shallow? Are you learning anything, are you helping anyone, are you creating, are you risking?

Thirdly, boredom is essential for creativity, so embrace the boredom and wait for inspiration. Maybe all the 'keeping busy' is actually keeping you from having enough time to work out what you really want to do.

MrsSpooner · 26/04/2022 21:00

I found the gym super boring, now I mountain bike which is loads of fun

biggreenhouse · 26/04/2022 21:01

I used to be annoyed feeling like this.. but come to the Conclusion that really, it's not MEANT to be enjoyable or fun really. life is just life.. if you manage to enjoy parts of it that's great, but look at animals and huge parts of the human population - life is pretty much survival only. lower your expectations and just "be". take the good out of whatever you can.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 26/04/2022 21:03

Life may be 'boring' for you OP, but look on it as being a damn sight better than the alternative...

Dreamylemon · 26/04/2022 21:06

I have felt the sense of being stuck in a rut when I was about 25. I had a life plan up until that point and was sort of stagnating as I hadn't planned the next bit. My circumstances changed and suddenly life was all change and I haven't felt that since.

You sound busy, but unfulfilled. What makes you tick?

Have you heard of the phrase life happens outside if your comfort zone? Consider doing something totally different to shake things up

DrManhattan · 26/04/2022 21:08

Google absurdism

lifewithsomeonespecial · 26/04/2022 21:12

Well, me too: it's tough.

I can't do anything to change it though. I'm a carer for a disabled DC. Any respite I get in spent catching up on sleep

HarlanPepper · 26/04/2022 21:13

That sounds like an aspect of depression to me. Anhedonia - inability to take pleasure in things you used to enjoy, or a lack of interest in or curiosity about life. I feel that way too sometimes, but like you I find it comes and goes. No advice, but you're not alone.

carefullycourageous · 26/04/2022 21:21

I also just wondered are you overscheduled?

What would you do if you had a whole day with nothing to do? Does that make you feel excited at the prospect, or worried about the emptiness, or something else?

Moonface123 · 26/04/2022 21:25

Some people have a very low tolerance regarding boredom, and it can trigger anxiety.
Do you enjoy going to the gym, or is it just something you feel you should do?
I have a hobby that l can completely lose myself in, it's not a chore and that is gardening. It's one of the few activities l don't ever get bored of. Do you have anything that you feel you put your heart and soul into rather than just go through the motions because that would make a difference.

Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:40

@GOODCAT yes lack of purpose and I've been trying to find it for 20 years, to not much avail. Tired to conceive didn't work and I am starting to think for the best because not sure children would give me the purpose I'm looking for to be honest

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Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:40

@BuddhaAtSea 36 so I hope it's not menopause just yet!

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Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:41

@Milknosugarta I've tired so many, honestly it's not that. And anyway, life shouldn't be that exhausting to have to constantly search for something. I've been looking high and low and am reigning myself to the fact I'm looking for something that doesn't exist and I need to be content with what I have

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Hawkins001 · 26/04/2022 21:42

I need the technology to make it more interesting, think the life pod, aquila, I need something similar to travel the world and back in time for tea, so to speak.

Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:44

@BabCNesbitt yes bare minimum to function to the end of the day that's exactly it. I go through waves too, at the moment I'm having a wave and it is just painful waiting for it to pass.

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Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:44

@BabCNesbitt yes bare minimum to function to the end of the day that's exactly it. I go through waves too, at the moment I'm having a wave and it is just painful waiting for it to pass.

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RiskyCookie · 26/04/2022 21:45

I get what you're saying.

I'm currently feeling something similar. Like there must be more. I think it's the mundane aspect of it all. Same routine all the time. It's like being on repeat everyday.

Original poster

josil · 26/04/2022 21:50

@the80sweregreat yep what you described is exactly what I mean - the good bits are not frequent enough. The mundane bits are not proportionate to what I feel they should be.

I'm part, my expectations are clearly flawed. But it doesn't change how I feel

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