Why why why do people have kids without marriage

[changedandcantchangeback]

Obviously if you earn more.. have an independent income... so NOT aimed at you..

But WHY after all these years do I see threads from economically improvised women STILL posting how they are so severely compromised ?

This.

ironically many women see the man having a baby as a commitment instead of marriage

Babies fundamentally change relationships.
when women get pregnant “ Accidentally “, they often hope to bring the bloke “ To heel” and commit..
Babies act as wedges rather than glue in too many relationships.

What a ridiculously stupid question

Totally agree, and a lot of these can be dealt with by educating our children (both male and female)

There was one poster on here who thought having a child together was LESS COMMITMENT than buying a house with her partner

I mean seriously???!!!?

Another consideration is unexpected death. If you die when unmarried, assets unless a will/ jointly owned in place will pass back to parents as next of kin. There are also widows pensions for young people that only a spouse is entitled to.

Is this a trick question that I'm not understanding 🧐

Is this a trick question that I'm not understanding 🧐

Because they put their own wants and needs before what is best for the child

Life happens... you can't be so thick to actually need an answer to your q

My partner and I are both disabled. Due to laws, we’d both be at a disadvantage if we got married, one or both of us could lose any help we get. If we could get married, we would!

Because I don’t want to get married? It’s really not that hard to understand! And it’s no one’s business if I’m married or not! I have two children, a partner of 21 years, a house with oh and I just don’t care if im not married!!

A lot of people have children, aren't married and it all works out fine, but we don't hear from them!
I think the better question would be "Why do so many people have children with shitty men". Because lots of people find out after they married that their partner is an arsehole who is perfectly happy to see them and their children suffer.

It's better not to be

I’ve got 2 kids and am not married, I don’t see why you have to get married... I love DP and I don’t need a piece of paper to say otherwise. If DP wants to leave us, I work so can manage by myself. We’ve been together 18 years, we get by mighty fine. We have separate finances and that works for us. I’ve been brought up to not rely on people. I have no issues with others getting married, go for it but it’s not for us and I’m comfortable with my decision.

Because some people get pregnant before they're married and want the baby. Simple.

I’ve got 2 kids and am not married, I don’t see why you have to get married... I love DP and I don’t need a piece of paper to say otherwise. If DP wants to leave us, I work so can manage by myself. We’ve been together 18 years, we get by mighty fine. We have separate finances and that works for us. I’ve been brought up to not rely on people. I have no issues with others getting married, go for it but it’s not for us and I’m comfortable with my decision.

They are promised it in future

I see this one crop up time & time again on Mumsnet Relationship board. If the woman is in her late 20s or 30s in particular, sometimes the woman feels an added pressure to have children now rather than later for biology reasons. The man says they can always get married in a year or two when they are can save up for a fancier wedding/someone in the family is over their illness/they are out of debt/or the pandemic is over or another reason. One reason is replaced by the other and pretty soon they are 5 - 10 years into parenting. The man has got what he wanted, which is someone to have his children without having to tie himself financially to her. This often leaving the mother vulnerable. Once the children have arrived, his incentive to marry is pretty much completely gone and the farce continues for years.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Because I have never wanted to get married. I assume there are a lot more like me. Unless you think all women are desperate for the big white dress?

@oakleaffy Sounds like you're a man.

Why are you so prejudiced and regressive?

I’m glad we never married, it made the break up easier and cheaper. I can’t see I would have come out of it much better if we were married to be honest, especially once factoring in the cost of weddings and divorces!
Being a single parent hasn’t stopped me retraining and starting my career, after having children, and that’s been quite useful actually.
Being a single parent has its trials, some end up struggling more than others just like it in marriages. You make it sound much worse than my experience of it has been.

Some posters seem anti marriage and that's fair enough, each to their own. Given that civil partnership is available to all do any of you think its a good "halfway house" for those who want a degree of security or is it marriage by another name ?

In what way would being married have been any better for my dc?