Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To basically demand super-flexible working hours

482 replies

Flatbrokefornow · 25/04/2022 22:52

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

OP posts:
Bedsheets4knickers · 26/04/2022 08:45

Domestic cleaning companies?
You just tell them your availability and they'll try to fill it for you . You will need to drive tho .

Threeboysandadog · 26/04/2022 08:46

What did you do before you had your DD?

As she’s 11 it won’t be too long before she will be doing more of her own thing in the holidays. It feels like last week that ds3 was 11 and suddenly he’s almost 16!
He has ASD and other s/n so I know how difficult it is when ordinary childcare arrangements won’t work.

This would be the ideal time to re train. What about university. Would you qualify for a student loan? You will, presumably, have a good few years left to work (if you choose) once dd is an adult and if there’s something you would like to do you could start towards it now.

elbea · 26/04/2022 08:47

I work for a Parish Council and is extremely flexible, whatever days/hours I want from home predominately apart from one evening meeting a month. Ours don’t meet in August because everyone is on holiday but smaller councils only have a few meetings a year. Small councils don’t usually require qualification but will pay for one.

Housetreecar · 26/04/2022 08:49

It will depend on a number of factors. Obviously schools etc this is possible and perhaps in junior roles. Anything senior it’s unlikely. I simply couldn’t do my role if I didn’t work in the holidays

however I am in exactly the same position as you albeit have more than 1 child. Youngest is the same age as yours.

i do work school holidays, I take a bit of holiday during the holiday and I work from home full time. We don’t use holiday clubs. It works fine. As they get older they don’t want to talk to you so much and so long as you have flex in your hours it’s possible

consider a bit more flex. Rather than term time only you may be able to negotiate shorter hours in the holidays / spreading your hours / working only from home. If you work 3 days a week, negotiate say, 5 days unpaid a year plus 5 weeks holiday you could manage to use some of the leave in a block and spread the rest so you work maybe 2 days a week in the holidays and if you are working from home I promise that is manageable. I’m work for a massively flexible organisation but term time really wouldn’t work for us

speakout · 26/04/2022 08:50

Agency work as a carer?
During my DDs degree many fellow students worked as carers during the terms they were not on placement. Carer jobs are hard and not well paid, but agencies desperate for staff and will take any hours you can give.
I know ASDA and Morrisons also offer similar employment models.

FlamingoQueen · 26/04/2022 08:51

Could you look at working in a school office, rather than directly with the children?

Leftbutcameback · 26/04/2022 08:54

Hello! Come and work for the part of the public sector I work in. Happy to message you to give more details. We have term time only contracts, wfh, flexible working etc. The work can be interesting and the employer gets that family comes first. The pay isn’t brilliant but it might suit you well for a few years. We are recruiting in lots of different fields at the moment.

emmathedilemma · 26/04/2022 08:55

other than temp work and being self-employed I think you'll find it difficult to find anything so flexible. I know of one person who has an "annual hours" type contract due to exceptional personal circumstances that mean she can take longer periods off work rather than fixed to reduced hours every week, BUT she has over 20 years service and is highly regarded across the industry.

clareykb · 26/04/2022 08:56

I had a job to fit round my MA which was writing content for websites . That was 100% flexi so whilst not term time only it was very flexible so when my kids were off school od work in the evenings. Would something like that work?

Teddansononmyown · 26/04/2022 08:57

Civil service fits the bill. Negotiated when accepting contract.

OutlookStalking · 26/04/2022 09:01

Leftback what do you work in?O
Only civil service jobs near me are in a prison or a training camp!Shameas aways sound great.

CaptainCaveMum · 26/04/2022 09:11

@Flatbrokefornow wow you’ve made a lot of people angry 😡 🤣

it’s a fair question but I think you are unlikely to find a job that fits neatly into your lifestyle. However, given you don’t need much income, you might want to consider freelance contract work. You can then pick and choose which contracts you take up. Lots of options, especially if you can afford to retrain. It can be precarious financially but doesn’t sound like that would be an issue for you. Good luck.

bitemyarsenic · 26/04/2022 09:15

I dont think going in demanding is the way to go, have you been out of the workplace a while? Its not how things work -setting your boundaries?😬
In reality there are few jobs where they will consider this as they need staff who can meet the needs of the service or business.

Asking if a term time contract is possible by all means but very few employers offer this.

One person who is away all the holidays often means no one else can take leave then.

I think as others have said, it all depends on your skills.
HCSW in hospitals can be employed on a Bank basis, so you book shifts when you are available to work.
There are a minimum number of shifts you have to work but generally its very flexible.
The downsides are no sick pay and you pick up shifts where the demand is, so it can be tricky as its never the same areas.
Its not particularly well paid either.

Hardbackwriter · 26/04/2022 09:16

Universities are an example of a sector that has plenty of term-time only options, and also conversely has some jobs where you are required to work summer.

Do you work for one? Because none of the four universities I've worked for have had 'plenty of term-time only options', at all.

brookstar · 26/04/2022 09:20

Universities are an example of a sector that has plenty of term-time only options, and also conversely has some jobs where you are required to work summer.

Erm that's not my experience and I've worked in universities for nearly 20 years.
And the 'summer only' jobs are aimed at students.

UnicornPooPoo · 26/04/2022 09:21

The civil service do part time term time.

ScatteredMama82 · 26/04/2022 09:23

YANBU to put your daughter first, she's lost her Dad and needs you. You don't sound entitled at all, despite what other posters are saying. It's sensible to ask what your options might be. I have a friend who was made redundant from a long-term career. Her husband works unpredictable shifts and they have a young child so she was looking for something with similar requirements to yourself. She's now trained as a vaccinator and does bank work for clinics, she can tell them in advance what she is available for and it works great for them.

brookstar · 26/04/2022 09:23

Flapjacker48 · 26/04/2022 07:15

Not sure why people keep suggesting admin roles in universities, sure they may have wfh possibilities etc, but universities don't shut up like schools just as undergrads are not in! You would have a normal A/L entitlement.

So true! And the summer is particularly busy for university admin

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:26

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.

AnneElliott · 26/04/2022 09:27

The civil service do term time only contracts but it depends on the role. I'd suggest looking for their bulk recruitment in CS jobs (our Department has just done one for G7 and SEO grades) and if you get through tell them you need a term time role so you can be posted to an area that can accommodate that.