To basically demand super-flexible working hours

[Flatbrokefornow]

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

Apologies if this has been suggested as I haven’t RTFT but have you thought about volunteering somewhere, making your available hours very clear?

I did this and then it led to a paid role but with term-time hours only until I was able to do more hours during the holidays as my son needed me less at home.

Either way, you will find something to suit you, just be very clear about what hours you can do and don’t overpromise. Any extra you are able to do along the way will be appreciated.

I understand exactly why you want to be there for your dd. My dd had similar aversion to clubs etc. I went free lance and manage to not work most summer holidays. She won’t be 11 forever and eventually you will be able to work whatever hours you want.

retraining is a good idea. If you can’t take on full time jobs there will always be contract work etc. good luck to you both

What did you do before you had your DD?

There are options but it totally depends on your skills and interests. I understand your predicament as a single parent supporting teens with difficulties, but needs must. I was freelance for a few years until one of my main clients, who understand my personal circumstances but also really value my skills, offered me a permanent job with the flexibility I need for my kids. I have a friend in a similar position who works as a school dinner lady, which works well for her.
I think the trick is to look for roles which fit rather than trying to fit your circumstances into a full time position.

Oh, and just to add - businesses are desperate for good people.

If you are super reliable in term time, that is more useful than a total twat all year round.

Childminding. Would still have to work in holiday time, but wouldn’t matter as you are working from home.

Have a look at the Facebook group Flexible Working People www.facebook.com/groups/167881057080826/?ref=share
there’s some good tips in there.

I have a flexible contract where I work more hours in term time and fewer in school holidays, and was taken on on that basis. I think something like that might be easier to negotiate. It means I get about 10 (of my lower hour) weeks off, so childcare isn’t too difficult to then arrange.

Was going to say exactly this!! OP - what about a career type role eg with local authority or NHS. As a health care support worker in NHS, you could join the bank and choose which hours you worked. Good pension and Ts@Cs. And they are crying out for good people to fill these roles. Problem with other cater roles is they may be zero hours contracts, minimum wage - joining the NHS bank is a much better option IMHO. Good luck!

You’d probably be better trying to find a part time WFH position / hybrid and seeing how you go. You use your leave for holidays put maybe work some days as well and DD can just stay in.

Civil service, council would be good options for flexibility.

My work is flexible though (blue chip company) I’ve not known them off a new recruit term time right off the bat and it does limit the roles you’d be eligible for.

You need to inform them prior to interview or at interview what you want. I recently had to pull an offer because the women dictated afterwards she’d never travel to site and would be unavailable for every school holiday and inset day. It was a shame as she was a good candidate but to much of risk to the business.

🤣🤣🤣

Not entitled to this for the first year of employment. Though its irrelevant anyway as if the employer supports it that can give you as much time off unpaid as you want.

Trying to use the extra four weeks after the first year without the employer's support to take off the whole of the summer school holidays may be a problem. If they need people in, and many of them have children, they could refuse it on the grounds that its not fair for one person to take off the whole of the summer every year.

Look out for jobs that are advertised as 'happy to talk flexible working' or #yestoflex and those who've won awards from workingfamilies.org.uk/news/top-employers_2021/

These are employers who are open to flexible working arrangements from day one and who will discuss it at interview and appointment.

It's more common in the charity sector but not limited to it.

Google employment agencies in your town then register with them all to work as a temp. Many industries need temps, office work, retail, the care sector, driving, warehousing, manufacturing etc. The agency will want to know what skills you have so they can offer suitable jobs. You can then pick and choose exactly when you want to work. It's not great working as a temp, you are seen as a disposable commodity, some jobs will only be one shift then off to the next one. Some weeks you will not be offered anything and the pay is low but you only need to agree to jobs which suit you. Of course if you turn too many down the agency will phone someone else first when jobs come in and you will only get offered the ones no-one wants but you can make it clear which weeks you are not available so they don't waste time contacting you.

Zero hours contract home carer?
Around here people just say yes or no to a shift when they're offered them

A dinner lady/ lollipop lady won be ideal.

If you end up looking at school (support role) jobs I would be v careful more often now yes they are term time but ....
Starting before / finishing after your DD's school day
Often have to work INSETS
Often have to work 1 or 2 weeks in the holidays
No / little flexibility with time off during the term - even if it is for a dentist appt for DD
Working in the evenings to catch up on paperwork (ie if SEN or admin)
IME at least with a 'normal' job the pay would be better and the boundaries of time off clearer

What about p/t all year round? The money would probably be the same as a school support role!

Could you have a conversation with your DD about it?

It's unlikely you'd be able to use unpaid parental leave during popular holiday periods. If I had a request for 4 weeks parental leave in August, I'd have to postpone it to September. August wouldn't be feasible.

A lot of organisations offer flexible working now. You need to look and find the right job(s) for you. Someone upthread said look at mass recruitment. It is less likely term time only will be accepted for a new starter if only one person is being taken on.

School is the obvious option but even then you don't get the whole holiday period off.

Personally, I'd temp.

There are lots of jobs that could work. Bank/agency work in healthcare (you dont have to be a be a registered professional you can do support work/clerk work with minimal training), also hospitality work you can work for an agency and do big events etc. Depends where your skills are

Quite a lot of jobs are now flexible with regard to working at home so you could mainly work at home in the holidays. You might have to attend for the odd meeting during the day but presumably your DD can be left for an hour or two? Are there any universities near you?

There are loads of term-time only jobs that aren't about teaching. Certainly there's a lot of competition for them. There's also flexible project work where you have big tasks to achieve over 3 months and you can choose to work intensely while your dd is at school and not at all during holidays.

Yes you should bother. It's an important part of parenting to demonstrate to your dd that no one gets a free ride, everyone needs to put in effort to achieve stuff. Whilst she was little it was your job to look after her. Now she is older you need to set a good example to her and show the determination to find worthwhile work.

There are plenty of term time only roles , especially in some public sector bodies. I don’t think you’re asking for anything ridiculous tbh.

it’ll be daunting to go back to work after so long but you’ll get more comfortable after you start and you and your DD will find your comfort zone.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you manage to get help for your DD to manage the anxiety and ADHD

I don't think you are being entitled at all. You want something, and now you need to find it. I have similar age DD and don't do holiday clubs. I have a full time role and WFH and this works well in the holidays because DD can be at home without too much supervision. If she has a friend over, it's even easier. I take an hours lunch with her, flex hours a bit to make the day work. Civil Servive. My role was also similar in private sector. Think IT type roles.

Someone once told me I wanted my cake, and to eat it too when I was looking for similar. And why not? It's my life. Its out there for the taking. More people should push for what they want. In many industries now, it is possible.

Try this YouTube account.

She has some great videos about companies that are hiring people to work from home, very flexible. You could do a combination of different roles.

The title of the channel is Single Mum Entrepreneurs but a lot of her links are for jobs and not about setting up your own business. Although that could also be an option for you.

It might give you some ideas though about what is possible. https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSingleMumEntrepreneur

Look at work for children and family centers. They're typically open 52 weeks a year but some of the roles within are term time only or extremely flexible.

Really for a family orientated role you need to look for a family orientated job as they usually require parental experience to empathise for the job role.

I work pretty flexibly, not so flexibly I can just flat out refuse to work school holidays but flexibly enough that I could do a couple of hours in the day then log off until the evening.

Could you look to work from home?