To basically demand super-flexible working hours

[Flatbrokefornow]

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

Ever thought of being self employed?
if your any good with maths maybe an accountant or a book keeper?
you can get up and running as a book keeper quickly.
times are flexible and you can be as busy as you like.

OP you have written about what you can’t offer (school holiday working) but what CAN you offer? There is a huge shortage of e.g. IT skills and you could take on 6m contracts avoiding the summer school holidays. But you’d need a commoditised skill set and it’s hard starting a.new contract every year.

If you were to start a job this September you may find by next summer holiday your dd is happier being on their own ? They do grow up a lot in year 7. Could you get a part time job and then it might only be a few days a week and of course there is annual leave and you can take unpaid leave in most jobs for a few days . Also there are still quite a lot of jobs advertised as working from home which would be doable with a secondary aged child

My old Big 4 employer offered the summer holidays off, unpaid, to some staff, but you had to prove yourself for several years before applying for it.

Schools , colleges, universities, educational charities plus public sector employers like civil service and councils may all offer term-time working in some roles. Or do contract work or be self employed.

Freelance jumps out at me as then you can choose to take on contracts when you do and don't want. You can set up a company and start paying into a private pension (any good accountant can help set payments up for you). I run my own company now and this is exactly how I do things as I have two kids and want to be flexible for the holidays. Depends on your skills and won't say what I do as it's outing but there's so much work out there these days, I think it's a post COVID world but the amountof jobs posted on Freelance sites daily is huge.

Also don’t forget the 4 weeks per year unpaid parental leave you can take if it helps

Not sure why people keep suggesting admin roles in universities, sure they may have wfh possibilities etc, but universities don't shut up like schools just as undergrads are not in! You would have a normal A/L entitlement.

I’ve worked with a few people on term time only contracts in the public sector. It’s definitely worth trying.

Can I just say this is one of the nastiest, weirdest comments I've ever read on Mumsnet. @lovinglavidaloca how could you possibly say something like this? There's a real human being behind her post and she lost her partner. Please have some compassion.

I would focus on the longer term - better to retrain for a more lucrative career given that you don't need the money asap than earn peanuts doing something very short hours/low skilled.

Then if it is an office type job find something that would allow you to WFH over the holidays - you can also obviously take annual leave and unpaid parental leave so would allow you to have plenty of time off.

If it's something else - you could do temp or freelance for a while and then do more hours when your DD is older.

She is 11 now, in 4 years time you are unlikely to need every day of the holidays off, so don't sell yourself short

I understand the need for the working hours , with the best will in the world it is the same as many people in the country, mine included. Whilst obviously not everyone has been widowed (I am sorry for your loss) its a typical issue needing not to be working in the holidays but because of that those jobs are like absolute gold dust because everyone wants them.

The only way I handled it was by being self employed, I have a mix of specifically qualified work I do through an agency but I can pick and choose when I work but also run consultancy on the side which is entirely my business if that makes sense.

However I did 25 years in the industry and several qualifications on top of my degree to be able to do this. So I do think often you can do this but only when you have built up the history and expertise. Can you turn what you do into self employed? Build on the work you have already been doing?

Bit shocked at the ‘using your widowhood’ post. I understand what you’re saying but Jesus, that’s brutal.
Should the op actually return, as pp have said, some idea of your skill set would be helpful. Unless you are specialised in something that has a shortage of talent, you may struggle beyond school roles.
Some retail positions would give you set shifts (supermarkets) but I think demanding anything gives a poor starting point.

This.

Especially if you’ve been out of work for over 10 years (?)

I absolutely passionately believe in there being a place for women returners, and in going back into the workplace after an extended break. But at the same time, you need to be realistic about what you’re actually going to do and understand that in any job there always needs to be some compromise. From both parties. All I’m seeing here is flex in your favour with nothing coming from you. That’s going to limit your options.

It’s very difficult for us to tell you whether it’s a non-starter because we don’t know what your skills are, what sector/industry you’re currently in, what you’re thinking of retraining as, etc. But in general terms there are options - term time only jobs exist, you could use parental leave, you could do contracting, you could ask to WFH during school holidays. I’ve agreed with my employer that I take August off unpaid every year, for example.

In terms of phrasing it to an employer you need to use different language to the language you’ve used here - ‘I won’t consider’, ‘demand’ etc. You need to focus on what you can offer them in return. The more an employer needs your skills and experience, the more accommodating they’ll be. I think also being open with an employer about your reasons for needing flexibility would help - only a complete sociopath would fail to feel sympathy with what you’ve been through!

In relation to retraining, it’s hard to comment without knowing what you’d be retraining as - but I would say that training and building experience in a field doesn’t typically lend itself to super flexible working. But that’s a big generalisation.

Agency work might suit you so you can pick and choose your own availability. I did this during college and worked as a healthcare assistant.

As others have said, the civil service definitely will have posts compatible with term time working. I’d also look for something with a decent chunk of home working - obviously I don’t have the full picture in terms of your daughter’s needs but it might work for you to be part time in a hybrid role (some office time, some wfh) and perhaps work for some of the longer summer holidays but only from home and flexibly.

i think it’s fine to express an interest in term time working only to an employer - they can offer it or they can’t/won’t. If they ask how flexible you are, you can choose whether to explain more about your circumstances. And these will evolve as your DD gets older.

You have a huge advantage in that finances aren’t an immediate imperative for you so you can take your time to find the right employer.

I do exam invigilating. It doesn’t earn a fortune but OP says she doesn’t need to work. My school often asks the invigilators to do other one -off tasks as well, it’ll convenient as we all have our DBS checks.

it is hard to say as you have just listed your wants and needs not your skills, experience or what you can offer an employer.

This is nonsense - my organisation has plenty of term-time only PT workers. Was always the same in other companies I worked for - because not all jobs are customer facing so the work can be spread throughout the year in a pattern to suit the business/employee.

what an awful comment, that poor little girl has lost her dad . I can see why her mum needs to be around more than the average child. Not sure if she’ll find the job she’s looking for but no need for this sort of comment, she’s already at a disadvantage due to her widowhood, unbelievable

Sorry for your loss 💐
What do you do now/what did you do and what is your skill set?
e.g I am self employed I do short term contracts for various orgs in my sector and I don’t take on work over Christmas and Summer. I set my hours to fit around the school run as I get paid for getting the job done rather than by hours. Many sectors have such arrangements to account for bulges in work load where they can’t afford to take on a whole extra person.

Universities are an example of a sector that has plenty of term-time only options, and also conversely has some jobs where you are required to work summer.

Look at school related companies, such as software companies, or services to school if you don’t fancy working at a school. Look at colleges and universities.

You could retrain in a trade (plumbing, electrician, handyperson etc )and then work part time whatever hours you want to. Tradies are well paid and in huge demand at the moment and there are options which are less physically demanding than others and if you are self employed you can pick and choose what jobs to take. Most trades work 8-4 so you would be home earlyish too. Although I guess if you are self employed you could work the hours that you wanted.