To basically demand super-flexible working hours

[Flatbrokefornow]

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

I worked for the leading single parent family organization in England and Wales and all the evidence points to poverty causing less positive outcomes for children, not the actual make up of the family.

Could you look at school jobs that don’t involve working with the children such as office staff?

There are companies who offer term time only contracts (big insurance companies, for example), so I would hunt using this search criteria. If this brings no joy, try joining multiple temp agencies and temp during the months/weeks you can work.

Civil service jobs offer something called term time working. I’d be pushing for this in your situation with dependents

You can do admin roles on NHS bank contract. Or there are NHS jobs that are only term time.

Do you think university staff only work term time?
It's been said multiple times in this thread but it's a huge myth that university jobs are term time only and administrative roles in particular can be very busy over the summer.

With your skills, you'd be a great candidate for a School Science Technician role. They tend to be term time only plus 5 days. They pay is a bit rubbish but it would fit your needs, use your science knowledge and it can be very rewarding. Good luck!

Schools are crying out for teaching assistants, ( or they are were we are) - could you train to do this?

@Flatbrokefornow take a look at lab tec jobs in schools. Lots of private and senior schools need them. Term time and kid friendly house and with a science background they would love you

Freelance virtual PA so you work from home. You can generally do what you want with your day as long as you stay on top of your work

My mum used to apply for temp Christmas retail jobs in September / October, hope to do well enough to be kept on, and then either quit in June or negotiate unpaid time off as there were plenty of students wanting the extra hours over the summer. It worked for her until I was old enough to be at home longer on my own.

Unfortunately, it is this attitude that really annoys other people in the workplace - that of people with school age children who assume they can pick and choose when they work. What about the rest of us who have to work the hours you don't want? Like Christmas, Easter, July, August, weekends, hours outwith school hours. If you want to work, fair enough. Just work what the rest of us work. Make your own arrangements for child care - I believe there are such things as summer schools/camps and such like. We too have families and home responsibilities like elderly parents. I too was a single parent and worked from home. One of my jobs was as an editorial assistant and another was as a self employed coffee shop owner. I lived in the back of beyond at the time. There are many forms of employment that you can combine with bringing up your daughter.

Look for term time jobs but if you haven't worked for some time it might be difficult. You could volunteer at a local school as Mums often get jobs like this. Since COVID there are now remote jobs but not necessarily that are term time too. It's understandable to want to be around for your daughter if you are the only parent

What you're looking for is doable, limiting maybe but doable. I am a public servant and some people I work with only work term time (single parents). Try the civil service jobs website. Some government depts aim to be inclusive by enabling all kinds of flexible working hours.

Exactly this. Well put.

OP I'm so sorry for your & DD's loss. It's in no way a competition. However, I'm shocked by your dismissive comments about single parenting.

I have to say I agree. Not in this specific instance as it’s clear that the child needs more than the average child in terms of parental presence and support, but the general attitude that everyone without or with grown up kids can just pick up the slack is really grating.

There are many hybrid (mixture of work from home and a day or 2 in the office) and also WFH positions available now since covid. I work in communications and we take people from any background and train them ourselves as its a very learn on the job type role. We advertise all our roles as home based. There are jobs out there that would suit your requirements its just a case of finding them! I would say 50% of my friends are in WFH roles, completely do-able. Just a case of searching until you find the right fit. During school hols when my children are in I work early in the morning and later in the evening when they are in bed to give me a bit more time during the day to give them attention. You can make it work

Could you be self employed? I work mostly from home and am able to pick and choose when I work.

Could you do some technical writing, consulting etc? Could you offer your service on a private basis? Or something similar? (Sorry, I don't know what your job entails)

Or if you are just looking at flexibility and you don't mind what it is, then supermarket jobs are quite flexible. Or you could also do temping.

Retrain as a GP? Then you’ll get well paid and won’t have to work at all.

From your own point of view, you are being quite reasonable...you need what you need. But possible employers also need what they need, and will see your requirements as unreasonable.

Have you considered trying to get WFH employment? That might meet your needs. You'll be home every day, and available for your DD.

Retrained in something that allows wfh or freelance. Instructional design is not a bad call.

I'm a lone parent of a child with multiple additional needs.

I think that it is possible, to some degree. l wfh and use flexi. So the combination of being part time and flexi means that on the whole I'm off for the holidays; some of this means working early in the school holidays, to finish early, but as I wfh, my child can lie in bed, play, watch TV, in the garden etc.

My child is lower primary, so if it's possible with him, I'd think it is more than possible with a secondary age child.

I wouldn't retrain, I'd look for a role that perhaps you use knowledge of those skills or a new area, look into charity organisations.

Don't present as what you won't do. Realistically, resigning due to holidays could be a disaster for your cv and getting a new job afterwards!

I'd also suggest that working 2 or 3 longer days may be easier to work around rather than few hours daily.

I would get on the books of a couple of employment agencies and explain your situation to them. You have been through a lot and your circumstances are fairly unique but completely understandable. Use them to advocate for you, and “sell” you to employers I actually think there are plenty of employers out there who would employ you for term time hours if someone could explain your situation upfront (so you don’t have to), your posts come across as eloquent and intelligent. You would likely be over qualified for most roles but with your bottom line being working term time, an employer could get a high quality employee for a lower rate, lots would consider it and it only takes one to employ you.

Would that be about 10 weeks holiday? I have that and take almost exclusively during school holidays, as do my parent colleagues. During holidays I answer the odd email remotely. I work for an NGO and coordinate my team’s work plan to adjust. It’s absolutely doable. I’m sorry for your loss op.

You can ask for flexibility if you can make yourself largely indispensable to an employer. But you need to be in the role first and be able to demonstrate how valuable you are.

I wouldn’t acquiesce to those demands from someone new coming in, and I don’t know many other employers that would either.

Sorry.