To basically demand super-flexible working hours

[Flatbrokefornow]

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

@ZoyaTheDestroyer lm not saying that part of it could be forseen. But it’s not that common for women to want a world of flexibility because the child’s father isn’t involved or has an Important Man Job which means mum needs to do all pick ups, drop offs, annual leave days, sick days etc

It really all depends on what your current skill sets are, what previous jobs you have had and what you could train as to become freelance on contract work.

Temping could be an option as well. But again decent temps that get the placements have great work experience.

I don’t even think setting up your own company works and being self employed as clients will still want some of your time and input during holidays.

but it’s just impossible to give any meaningful suggestions without knowing your employment history, skills, interests etc.

Temporary work where you have an “in” are useful as you build rapport and reliability and can then look at expanding to meet both requirements of yours and the employer. It’s a hard ask first off when there are thousands of other women wanting exactly the same. So what is going to stand you way above the competition?

Have you thought of temping through an agency? I did admin type roles during summer holidays while at Uni and after I graduated. It was mostly data entry, reception cover etc. having said that I ended up temping in a company in the field I wanted to get into and ended with a permanent role, so was also great for my career. And actually at another company I worked at the temporary receptionist ended up with a full time role in the marketing department. I would swot up on Microsoft office packages etc and maybe do an online course (the gov used run a free one years ago) which could help if you wanted to go down the office temp route.

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills

You were on the bones of your arse a month ago. Odd.

Not saying it would work everywhere only that I have known circs where it did work. We used to use zero hours contracts to deal with the issues of induction health screening and statutory training. The continued contract meant that the zero hours folk only needed the same refreshers and reviews as the "normal" staff, however we always had a patient waiting list so it meant we could get caught up on the work without employing all year round staff that we couldn't afford or going through an agency with the additional costs.

maybe a month ago she wasn't a widow?

It's hard to be a psychological therapist term time only as not very ethical to just ditch clients for 6 weeks in summer, particularly if they are very distressed or you are opening difficult stuff up with them, half terms etc are fine, but if you are working with someone and seeing them weekly you need to be able to offer that pretty consistently. Not impossible but difficult.

see here

Now your DD is old enough I don't think not working in hols is realistic unless it's a school job, but I've always (even pre COVID) managed to negotiate a lot of WFH during holidays so that I could ferry kids around to activities, and just be there once they were a bit older.

Have you got an Adult Ed college near you? If you’ve got a degree, you can do an additional qualification such as a CELTA then teach adults how to learn English. Or find out what qualifications you need to teach other subjects / e.g. ICT, Work Skills etc They will probably accept volunteers if you wanted to try it out first.
Alternatively, local councils might have a ‘temp bank’ that you can apply to and you set your own hours. Friends have done this, now have permanent jobs which are term- time only.

Another option might be swimming teacher. You'd (probably) have to work in term-time but could probably pick your hours. It is quite well paid (£16 to £20ish an hour depending on where you work). You would have to do a course (I think it has two parts) first though which I think would cost around £900.

And on the FE teaching front, if you have good presentation skills and subject knowledge you could get the latest iteration of the PETLLs (preparing to teach in lifelong learning) course (it is called something different now) and teach FE students. Again, you'd have to work term-time but it would be part-time hours.

Hi op
I think your choices are:

• work in a school, or university/ college etc
• Train and work as, for example, a family worker within a local authority attached to the local schools
• Very casual work
• Your own small business, sell stuff on etsy or ebay or whatever

If you have personal experience of ADHD with your daughter, and you think you have or could acquire the skills/ knowledge, you might consider the family worker option. Lots of families currently struggling with their children's mental health, anxiety etc following the pandemic.

Interesting

I applied for a job as a university shuttle bus driver. Term time only and £10.90 pH. Might be worth looking at something like that?

I think you're unreasonable to demand term time only from a job that doesn't offer that, however you can apply for jobs that are term time only that will fit around your daughter and still bring in a small income for you. Our local council has a few now for things like lunch time supervisor, school crossing assistant and mini bus driver for our local SEN school which would all work for you. Alternatively you could do casual/agency/bank shifts somewhere where you could pick up shifts when it is convenient for you.

You can certainly look for a role that offers those kinds of flexible working options, such as doing what's essentially a part-time job but compressing it into term-times, or taking unpaid leave in the holidays etc. But I don't think you should be think of it in terms of 'demanding' something.

Find out first whether that kind of working arrangement is an option at the company/organisation before you apply for a position, is my advice. Most organisations that offer very flexible working options are pretty upfront about it, but if not put in a call to their HR department and explain that the role would be perfect for you but just wanted to find out some more about working arrangements and options for flexibility.

If you apply for a full-time job, turn up for an interview and then say 'So, I'll be needing 13 weeks off every year, is that feasible?'' and they say 'Er, no?' you've wasted your time and theirs.

Would a job where you can work from home be possible? Your daughter is 11 so presumably doesn't need your constant attention like a younger child would. Or would part-time work, so your DD would only be alone until lunchtime or something like that?

So what happened to your self employment and other job that you had a month ago on the thread Milky has pointed out? What’s all this nonsense about?

I am losing track of this thread. One minute the OP is struggling for money and the next they are demanding certain hours of work.

I wonder if the OP needs to take a few months off here to decide what she wants to do going forward. Has the skills question even been answered.

Jobs during term time are sought after and will probably need experience. Has the OP got any?

Have to say it makes my heart sink whenever loads of people suggest civil service on posts like these. It is flexible but the job needs doing as public services don’t just close down for big swathes of the year. I work in a team where those working term time, or taking every summer as mixture of annual and unpaid leave, significantly outweigh those of us who don’t. Haven’t had time off during the summer or Christmas for years.

My heart sinks whenever we get a new starter and they’re using the full remit of the flexibility offered. Not their fault but it makes it very difficult for others at times to get any flexibility at all.

That said it is hugely flexible (for some…) so nobody is wrong to suggest it.

Why is money no issue when you were broke a month ago? Also a month ago you both had a p/t wfh and were also "self-employed" wfh?

25/4/22 "I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!)"

27/03/22 "I am utterly broke, even before my energy bills and mortgage go up at the end of this month. Skipping-meals-and-showers broke"

@rainbowmilk surely that’s bad management, rather than ‘flexibility’s fault?
Business is supposed to hire cover as pp stated. Not shove work onto someone else.
Given the appalling state of services such as the DVLA I often wonder whether some departments get anything done at all.

Well this is all very strange. What’s going on OP? By the way basically demanding anything won’t generally get you terribly far. Asking/requesting/negotiating tends to be better received in almost any given situation.

I understand why you would like your working conditions to be so flexible. Unfortunately very few employers could reasonably accommodate your demands/requests without creating a nightmare scenario for their HR department. I would probably advise you to take advantage of not actually needing to work for as long as possible while maybe doing an open university course or night classes to broaden your CV. Perhaps you could start a business where you only work the hours you want to or wfh.