To basically demand super-flexible working hours

[Flatbrokefornow]

I am very privileged in that I don’t have to work to pay the bills (although only just, and not for much longer at the rate things are increasing!), but less privileged in that I’m widowed with no family close by. I’m completely on my own.

Now my DD is in secondary school, I’d like to think about going back to work, to fund a few treats and get my pension and DD’s education fund back on track, and also for my own fulfilment.

BUT, I won’t consider working school holidays. I know people do, and all power to them, but it won’t work for us, yet. (My DD has been diagnosed with anxiety, is being assessed for ADHD and has also lost her father. She’s got enough to cope with) We’ve tried holiday clubs in the past, and the effects on her anxiety are just not worth it for our family. She’s just 11, and while she (probably) won’t set fire to the house, and I’m happy to leave her for short periods occasionally, I can’t really just expect her to stay home alone all day everyday. There really isn’t anyone I can ask. Lone parenting makes forming friendships difficult, I’m an only child and my parents live abroad. I have lovely neighbours, who will do the odd favour, but that’s not exactly a solid plan going forward.

is it a non starter? I was thinking of retraining, but given the restrictions I can work, I’m not sure it’s worth bothering. Who’s going to want to employ me? Especially if any of the interview panel are blokes who never even think about childcare (and it’s common, let’s face it) and just think I’m either coddling her, or a spoilt princess that wants holidays off. I have considered working in a school, but in all honestly I don’t think I could spend all day managing children’s behaviour and then come home and manage DD (who can be very rigid and oppositional) with the level of patience I’d need and enough energy to hold boundaries with her. I don’t think that would be fair on her, or sustainable for me.

I’m currently looking at careers with flex time, working from home, or short term/part time contracts. I wouldn’t mind buying extra leave, or taking a pay cut, but my family will come first and I would leave a position which didn’t allow or follow through on me not working school holidays (in the main. The odd day will probably be doable) without hesitation. Is this even possible? How can I phrase it so that my boundaries are clear, but not sound entitled? How can I reassure an employer that I’ll do my damndest for them in my working hours, but that’s all of the time they are buying from me, and it’s not about money for me. Are my only options very casual, or leaving a job every July?

Has anyone suggested childminding? Granted you might have to work during the holidays but you could combine with looking after your daughter.

Have you chatted to your daughter about the situation? She might actually enjoy and benefit from school holiday clubs, at least a few days a week? Are you using her as a reason for not getting a job, even if subconsciously?

School job or something self employed so you can work hours/ weeks that suit you- what I'm currently doing with a very understanding main client as a gardener. (they also have children similar age to my DS)

Civil Service jobs offer part time / term time hours

I’d happily consider your request but would also silently think you’d be so inflexible and entitled it might end up being a nightmare. That said, I feel for you in what is a terribly sad situation and of course your DD is your number one priority. Would a wfh job with a young, friendly (temp) au pair work for you?

Could you try temp agencies? Years ago you literally could be in one office one day and one the next though more are longer commitments now I know. I do know some of my mum’s carers are agency as well and do literally stipulate what they can and can’t work - though that’s maybe not the job you would want.
otherwise I would look on mse and moneyshed for opportunities to make money from home - until you’re in a position to be a bit more flexible with employed work - some of the work from home can make a few hundred per month so it could help - though not as consistent as a regular wage I know. My

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4514952-To-take-payment-for-this

Last month, you were flat broke and working from home (part time employed, part time selfemployed. Now you seem to have finances sorted, play money aside.

Did you do something in particular to change your financial status in a month? Is it something you can cash in on again? What were your WFH jobs last month? Is that something you can return to?

Could you work in an education-related job that isn't in a school? Those types of jobs may still be focused on term-times so you may still be able to negotiate school holidays off. E.g. companies that supply schools or companies that offer extra-curricular activities to children in term-time?

Have you considered freelance editing and proofreading? Particularly if you're written English is already good and you have any subject specialisms. Publishing Training Centre has good short courses, you can become qualified fairly quickly, though it may then take you time to build up a client base.

But having children is a lifestyle choice. People love say it isn’t but it really is

I worked in the public sector term time only. A lot did. Too many tbh and that included parents whose children were older who just liked the holidays off. Some years there was pressure on people to go back to full time working if management thought someone's child was old enough to be left.

Perhaps. Becoming a lone parent due to widowhood isn’t, though.

Well, you've not even said what you can do. When did you last work? What did you do?

There are loads of jobs cleaning in schools, they are term time and can be short hours, so worth looking at?

I’m very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband.

I've not had time to read the whole thread, so sorry if people have already suggested these, but here are some ideas for self-employed work that you could do during term-time:

• private tutor (for academic subjects, music, tennis coach etc)


• counsellor/therapist


• acupuncturist


• massage therapist

There are some tech companies who are very open to flexible working when they get the right person. Work from home and flexi working is a growing option, especially post pandemic when more companies realised it was possible.

You'll want a really good home set up though - strong, reliable internet and a good computer.

Setting up as a freelancer, or contractor is also possible and there are a wide range of skills which fit there from specialist (eg graphic designer) to generalist (admin/exec assistant).

Schools actually offer very little flexibility, in that you cannot pick and choose your hours. When you are contracted to be in, you will be expected to be in.

No term time holidays and requests for leave are almost never granted, except in exceptional circumstances. You are likely to be denied leave, for example, to attend a cousin's wedding.

However yes it is tern time only, so fits what the OP wants.

Could you perhaps do something creative, such as art or writing and see whether it sells?

Also this.
Employers are embracing flexible working because it makes business sense. It helps keep talented employees without competing only on pay and reward.
For jobs that allow it TT only saves both sides money. Employees , on holiday clubs (also precious family time). Employers, on additional salary and talent retention. Not saying that emplyers giive subpar pay but obviously time off at the opportune moment is worth smething and can justify a lower salary. That's just or below market rate when seen on it's own.
Recruiting good employees is difficult, and expensive.

The issue with being self employed is most clients are not going to be able to work around you being away that amount of time, so will go and find someone else to do the work for them. Even in niche fields, there is always someone else ready to snap up work you refuse.

@BitOutOfPractice

Aw what a lovely way to speak to someone who has lost their husband and is dealing with a child who is grieving.

I hope you're just as nice in real life because you'd never actually say that to someone's face, would you?

You will find what you’re looking for - I work school terms only at an Educational publisher. Well paid though pro-rataed.
Either work in or with schools. So for example - if you worked with someone like Oxford University Press, Pearson or Hodder Education in a school facing role you get the same time off as teachers pretty much.
or get a job in a school.
Your other option is part time working or contract work.
don’t forget though - any decent company will give you 25 days off plus public hols so you don’t have as much to cover as you think - e.g. you could work 2/3 days a week in summer meaning you still see a lot of DD.
and many jobs are now WFH or hybrid working so you could be a home with DD albeit working. At that age she should be less of a distraction.

Oh!

@pizzacutterbun nobody, you included, has any idea how difficult or upsetting any one’s circumstances are. In terms of her employment options, being a single parent is no different from anyone else’s. Though I must admit I did sound really flippant and I know the op had had a very sad back story. So apologies if I came over as uncaring.

though it seems now that the OP also doesn’t know what her employment circumstances are

OP everything depends on what work you want to do and what you are skilled or willing to get skilled in.
i work in the nhs- clinical- and have 7-8 weeks a year off- i could buy more leave up to a point also.
i have some or all of every school holidays off- the more challenging one is summer hols but i tend to have two weeks off, then the remainder i do a mix if wfh and a few days office here and there.
I’m now retraining as a complementary therapist, ill need to work 3 hours a day 3-4 days a week to make my nursing salary so if this is something you are even remotely interested in maybe worth looking at?

I've worked for two charities where people have negotiated term-time only contracts. I now work in local government and know of some people with term-time only contracts, although none of them are in senior positions. So it is doable.

Term-time only contracts are not unknown, but it's unusual, and it may depend on you having sought-after skills. Obviously freelance/consultancy is one possibility if you have the right skills.

One local tech company here has realised that there's an untapped market of software developers who are interested in term-time only contracts, especially finishing at 2.30. A friend managed to negotiate a contract at another company that was 8-2, 3 days a week, term-time only, with a later start when her DH (who worked for the same company) was travelling, as he normally did the morning school run. But she had a specialism that was in demand, so it was "what would make it possible for you to work for us?" Another friend worked 2/3 days a week, but the company were happy for her to work her half-term days the week before or after - that was a very small family-run company.

Another option for you might be something that is mainly work-from-home - at 11, she ought to be okay with you being at home but working - especially if they are flexible so that you can take a longer lunch hour.

If you're near a university, student-related jobs there might allow for a term-time-only contract.