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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to never allow scooters in residential area again?

197 replies

Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:05

My nearly 3 year old was a whisker away from being hit on the way back from school run today. Threw up when I got home. He's fast at scooting and goes a little way( 3-4 houses) ahead. Always always stays on the path and walks across quiet road with me. Today this car reversed straight off the drive in 1 go and missed him by a whisker on the path. Drove off and didn't acknowledge. Obviously looked once, assumed he'd stop/ was slow or didn't see him at all I don't know but didn't slow or check again and properly zoomed out. They had good visibility to the side we were approaching. He'd have been seriously injured at least if hit. I can't even think about it. Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

I asked why he didn't stop when I yelled and he said " I did stop but the brake isn't that quick. I was on the path, why didn't the car stop?" I just said he couldn't ever ride his scooter outside of a park again and carried him home in a state. His older brother has said he's not riding his scooter by houses ever again as it was scary to see :-(. I feel as I can only control my children not drivers this is the safest thing to do. It feels such a shame though. I don't even want to let them run on the pavement anymore :-(. Was I just being a really shit parent by allowing scooting or running in a quiet street on paths? My husband thinks it's the driver's fault and says just one of those things but I'm too scared to do anything other than slow walking holding hands with both......

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 25/04/2022 16:07

It is the drivers fault but I wouldn't let my 3 year old go ahead of me on paths where cars have to reverse over it to get out of their drives wether they were on foot or on a scooter. Being on a path doesn't automatically make it safe.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 25/04/2022 16:08

This is why people shouldn’t drive onto drive ways but reverse instead.

I would contact the police about the incident.

Wideawakeandconfused · 25/04/2022 16:09

Don’t stop him scooting. You need to teach him to stop and look at every drive way for this exact reason. You don’t just scoot across without looking for this reason. I taught my DC the same thing, especially when they are little and easy to miss.

AchillesPoirot · 25/04/2022 16:09

I wouldn't let a small child go that far ahead of me

The driver maybe didn't even see him behind the car - I know of a child killed age 3/4 when a neighbour reversed out and couldn't see them below the back window.

Butfirstcoffees · 25/04/2022 16:10

This is why I have never allowed my kids to run ahead on residential streets. In a lot of cars small children may not be seen.

Samcro · 25/04/2022 16:11

the driver should have checked before driving across the path.
only thing i can imagine is that they thought child had seen them and would stop, or that they didn't see child.

Seeline · 25/04/2022 16:13

No matter how careful a driver, they have to be in a position to actually see pedestrians etc in order to stop. This means that usually, because if fences, hedges etc some part of the car is going to have exited the property boundary before they have a proper view of the pavement. This is usually worse if cars are being reversed off the property.

Because of this I don't believe it is safe to let a 3 to scoot at speed away from an adult. An older child can be taught to listen for engine noises.

So whilst it is obviously the driver's responsibility to check, I don't think they can be totally blamed in this situation.

Glad you are all ok.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:14

Samcro they'd have seen him if they looked even from the start of their drive- it was a clear view. Think they assumed he'd stop and just went for it :-(

OP posts:
Tessasanderson · 25/04/2022 16:15

Could just as easily been whilst you child was running along. The scooter isnt really the factor here. Your response, whilst understandable really seems to be focussing on everything negative. Your child wont appreciate everything risky being taken away from him. What happens if he starts to not tell the fun police every time something bad happens because he knows it will be taken away from him?

Take the opportunity to speak to the child, show him the risks and teach him to be aware of other traffic. Keep him a little closer but dont take his fun away because a car wasnt paying enough attention. Turn this into a positive which will help him when he eventually gets on his bike etc and mum can always be there.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:16

He wasn't behind when they started reversing, they'd have seen if slower or looked at all. He should have stopped when the car started moving but they should have waited to let us all pass imo

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:16

Hard to do this when all the driveways are like this in our road.......

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 25/04/2022 16:18

The driver should have waited and looked.

But. Your child is 2. He's not even 3 yet and you should keep him closer to you.

I'm glad you're all ok though.

Mayvis · 25/04/2022 16:19

The driver would have been at fault but you are being very irresponsible letting your two year old scoot at speed along a residential road, out of arms length. I wasn’t even letting my child walk without holding my hand at that age.

viques · 25/04/2022 16:19

Why are you blaming the driver and the two year old ( nearly three is a two year old). You are the person responsible for your child’s safety. Yes, perhaps the driver could have driven slower off the drive, but ultimately it is up to you to keep your child close enough to intervene in an emergency.

Horcruxe · 25/04/2022 16:19

I thi k you need to teach him, to stop at drivewaysand check if it's safe to cross especially if the car has started.

purplecorkheart · 25/04/2022 16:20

I would presume that the driver thought that the child would stop. Unfortunately in my experience people who are backing out onto the road tend to be more interested in getting a break in traffic and assume that pedestrians will stop.

I do think three is a bit young to be going a few houses ahead. You do need to use this as a learning opportunity to teach your children to look at each driveway to make sure there is not car coming out and to never assume a car will stop to let them pass.

Hellocatshome · 25/04/2022 16:21

Hard to do this when all the driveways are like this in our road.......

At the end of the day its up to you wether you want to carry on as normal and cross your fingers your 2 year old doesnt get hurt or worse or wether you want to do something about it. There are several things you can do, make him scoot next to you until you are in a safe place away from cars, teach him to stop look and listen at every junction (including driveways), teach him that when you shout stop he has to stop immediately, if he is going too fast to stop immediately he is going too fast on a pavement. Fast scooting is to be saved for the park.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:21

I will speak to him again but I don't think even my 6 year old could have stopped in time if he was scooting fast. Perhaps slower scooting is the answer here when I get over the shock. Everyone here normally lets the kids go a little way ahead- we live right by the school so it's a really busy time of day for pedestrians.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 25/04/2022 16:22

Then he shouldn't be scooting so fast if he can't stop in an emergency.

Notanotherwindow · 25/04/2022 16:24

With some cars you can't see much below waist height and tbh I wouldn't let a 2 year old go that far ahead of me. They're still very little and should be scooting right next to you, not metres ahead out of reach.

Older kids have a bit more sense but he's still a toddler. I think I still had them on wrist straps at that age.

Whatsmyname100 · 25/04/2022 16:24

It actually infuriates me, those parents who allow their children to be scooting and running ahead of them. I saw a child fall and get hurt very, very badly the other day on her scooter. The mother is then running from quite a bit behind. Why would you be so reckless in allowing this , your child is 3!

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:28

I think I will just say next to me in residential areas to him. And put him in buggy if not. And the 6 year too tbh( not the buggy bit lol). They are both sensible by roads and 'hidden' driveways. He assumed the car would stop before it got to the pavement I think and the driver assumed the same. His safety is my responsibility I agree. Maybe I'm wrong to feel angry at the driver. They had good visibility though and lots of kids live on the road. They are always zooming past my driveway and I wouldn't dream of reversing out at speed.

OP posts:
woodhill · 25/04/2022 16:28

Driver should be more careful but your dc shouldn't be scooting ahead

TulipCat · 25/04/2022 16:30

It's natural to feel shaken up when something like this happens to your child, but your handling of it seems a little OTT. You live in an area with driveways so this issue isn't going to go away. As PP have said, it's probably best not to let him go ahead of you until he is a bit older. We also live in an area like this, and I taught my DC to look for reversing lights and engine noise to determine whether or not a car is about to move, but they were older.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2022 16:32

Depending on where your child was in comparison to the car, it could be that the driver DID look properly and just didn't see him. I wouldn't necessarily be able to see a 2yo in my rear-view mirrors if they were right up to my bumper.

A 2yo should never be that far ahead of you on a public road. At that age, they should be in a buggy or holding your hand, or on a rein if you want to give them a bit more freedom. 2yo can't assess danger and have no understanding that a car could be about to reverse straight into their path.

I'm really sorry you had a fright but you are incredibly lucky that your child wasn't run over and badly injured.

I mean, yes, the driver would have been at fault if there had been an accident, but that would be no comfort to you if your child was in the hospital with head injury.