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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to never allow scooters in residential area again?

197 replies

Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:05

My nearly 3 year old was a whisker away from being hit on the way back from school run today. Threw up when I got home. He's fast at scooting and goes a little way( 3-4 houses) ahead. Always always stays on the path and walks across quiet road with me. Today this car reversed straight off the drive in 1 go and missed him by a whisker on the path. Drove off and didn't acknowledge. Obviously looked once, assumed he'd stop/ was slow or didn't see him at all I don't know but didn't slow or check again and properly zoomed out. They had good visibility to the side we were approaching. He'd have been seriously injured at least if hit. I can't even think about it. Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

I asked why he didn't stop when I yelled and he said " I did stop but the brake isn't that quick. I was on the path, why didn't the car stop?" I just said he couldn't ever ride his scooter outside of a park again and carried him home in a state. His older brother has said he's not riding his scooter by houses ever again as it was scary to see :-(. I feel as I can only control my children not drivers this is the safest thing to do. It feels such a shame though. I don't even want to let them run on the pavement anymore :-(. Was I just being a really shit parent by allowing scooting or running in a quiet street on paths? My husband thinks it's the driver's fault and says just one of those things but I'm too scared to do anything other than slow walking holding hands with both......

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 25/04/2022 16:56

My kids are really polite on scooters- they go fast but always give loads of room to others and follow my instructions normally.

Well now you know the 2 year old doesnt always give room to others and follow your instructions, thank God you found that out by a near miss rather than an actual accident.

tackling · 25/04/2022 16:57

It's a road FFS, not a playground!

Yes, you should have him super close by and under control.

Being angry at drivers is pointless. For one thing, you can never predict who's on the road or how good they are at driving or if they've just lost control of their vehicle. And for another, regardless of the rules, it won't help having the moral high ground if he gets run over.

Horcruxe · 25/04/2022 16:58

Didnt read it properly.

Didnt realise he is only 2.

I think that's way too young to be scooting at a distance from you. Especially if there are cars going over the pavements.

He has no sense of road safety at this age, especially if you're saying he was scooting was too fast and wouldn't have been able to stop.

SlipperyLizard · 25/04/2022 16:58

I wish more drivers would appreciate the risks of reversing off a driveway when they have (often) little visibility of who is approaching on the pavement due to hedges etc. It is rarely necessary to drive on/reverse off and more often (near me) due to laziness - I live on a v quiet road and lots of cars don’t reverse on, making pedestrians less safe when they reverse off, just for their convenience.

I’ve got no answer OP, because our culture means the car is king and pedestrians just have to suck it up, but that’s not how it should be.

Floydthebarber · 25/04/2022 16:58

It was the driver's fault for not properly checking but this is the reason I tell my small dc they cannot run ahead. They are too short to be seen by a driver backing off a drive (and driving forwards when they were very small). Letting them run ahead where there driveways is just dangerous.

Flowers it is terrible when things like that happen though.

ChristmasCrackered · 25/04/2022 16:58

I tend to treat a driveway just like a road. Many pavements are not suitable for children to walk ahead or scoot on, until they are old enough to cross roads/drives by themselves and also tall enough to be easily spotted.

I’m so glad nothing awful happened, just try to take it as a lucky warning.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2022 16:58

I think your expectations of your 2yo are hugely unrealistic.

He's TWO. He's not always going to remember to stop at driveways or what reversing lights look like. That's your job. Yelling "stop!" isn't enough - you need to be there to physically stop him.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:58

His older brother is just as likely to have a lapse in judgement- as someone said earlier, kids do. Drivers though are adults so I don't think AIBU to be angry at the driver either.

Vast majority are of the opinion kids ( of any age)should scoot next to me or not at all in residential areas as I said in my post then? I think 1 person said report the driver and only one said let them scoot sensibly.....

To the person who said they were probably waiting for a break in traffic and ignored pedestrians- then they are a dangerous driver. And there was no road traffic so no reason to reverse so quick at all. Obviously just in a rush to get somewhere.

OP posts:
TooBored1 · 25/04/2022 17:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It absolutely infuriates me that our children aren't safe on our streets.

Cars really shouldn't reverse over paths and they should always give way to pedestrians - they should be expecting to see them on a path so ought to be taking the appropriate care.

PademelonFelon · 25/04/2022 17:00

Your child was probably in a blind spot - particularly due to his age (and height).

My children won't have scooters at all - I saw a child come down a hill and go straight onto a main road at the bottom of it - and get hit by a car. It absolutely scared the crap out of me and I've since seen several near misses. I also worry about the unequal muscle development they can cause.

Ultimately you need to keep your child closer though, he won't always be seen by reversing cars and he has very little perception of his safety or the risk around him. I'm sorry it has given you and your other son such a shock but I really do hope there's a lesson learnt from this (in the nicest possible way).

NannyGythaOgg · 25/04/2022 17:00

Legally the driver is at fault. He is driving over a footpath and the pedestrian has the right of way. Doesn't help the person being hit.

A policeman once told me, when attending accidents, car or pedestrian, the commonest thing he hears the casualty say is 'It was my right of way'.

For what it's worth, I don't think you are going to have to ban anything. It sounds like your poor son has had a bad fright and I doubt he will want to scooter for a while at least.

Lockheart · 25/04/2022 17:01

Ah you've had a scare, don't be too harsh on yourself.

I agree with others though, your child shouldn't be scooting fast on a pavement or be too far ahead of you. I've nearly been run into a few times (as a pedestrian) by children on scooters whose parents are too far behind.

The car drivers must be vigilant too, but equally a small child moving quickly can be very difficult to see, especially in tall or big cars. Don't risk it.

tackling · 25/04/2022 17:01

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

You're projecting your fear and shock and anger over the fact that you let him into that stupid situation on to someone else.

You cannot and must not rely on drivers being what you would like them to be.

gogohm · 25/04/2022 17:01

No matter how careful you are as a driver you cannot predict a 3 year old - they should be kept close to you on residential streets for this very reason

tomatorich112 · 25/04/2022 17:02

Two year olds always need to be within arms length. No two year old, scooting fast along a pavement is able to judge and acknowledge reversing lights, as you discovered. If mine scooted, I ran alongside.

I can't see anything below window level in my car.

This is all your responsibility, not being mean, but wise up and keep your baby safe. Be thankful all turned out well and learn from this.

FirewomanSam · 25/04/2022 17:02

I don’t have kids so maybe I don’t have a right to comment but I’m thinking of my nieces/nephews and friends’ kids aged under 3 years old and I just cannot fathom the idea of any of them happily zooming several houses ahead on a scooter, or being described as having excellent judgment and awareness of reversing lights etc! Is this really normal?

I live near a school and this is my worst nightmare. I creep out of our car park so, so slowly every time because i’m terrified of stories like this. Of course the driver should pull out carefully and you can be angry with them for not doing that but I’m now so spooked at the thought of a 2 year old whizzing in front of my car on a scooter.

prescribingmum · 25/04/2022 17:02

As a driver, I only ever reverse into driveways and parking spaces for this reason - I can't stand the pressure of watching out for children and a gap in the traffic whilst simultaneously reversing and feel it is far far safer to go forward to get out.

However as a parent, my children are right next to me if on their scooters/balance bikes on any pavement where there are driveways. I do not place trust in other drivers to see them when they are so small. They can go ahead of me freely when on footpaths and in parks

gogohm · 25/04/2022 17:05

As a general rule, people on pavements should be going at walking pace, or as a maximum running, no faster - bikes and scooters going faster should be on cycle paths or the road. I've been crashed into by a 4 year old on a scooter and was badly bruised, wouldn't have happened if he was going slower by his parent

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2022 17:06

TooBored1 · 25/04/2022 17:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It absolutely infuriates me that our children aren't safe on our streets.

Cars really shouldn't reverse over paths and they should always give way to pedestrians - they should be expecting to see them on a path so ought to be taking the appropriate care.

But he may well have done all the necessary checks and re-checks - if OP's son was barely an inch from his bumper, he just won't have seen him.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 17:06

He is nearly 3. His understanding and physical abilities are ahead of his actual age. Equivalent to a 4 year old approximately. He's been scooting back from school since 2 so obviously we've just been lucky so far. Won't be taking the risk with either child anymore.

Thankyou for the sympathy from some posters and the honesty of others with respect to scooting near roads. It's obviously not the done thing to let kids scoot in residential areas unless it's at walking pace.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2022 17:07

He is nearly 3. His understanding and physical abilities are ahead of his actual age. Equivalent to a 4 year old approximately.

But even a 4yo is too young to have the level of road sense you're expecting of your 2yo.

PademelonFelon · 25/04/2022 17:10

In the nicest way possible, and I can see you have taken some comments onboard which is great, you've put far too much responsibility onto him. Please stop saying he's advanced etc. Even a four year old should be looked after on pavements near road. It's simply not good enough to say otherwise.

And as for all the "legally the driver would have been at fault" - actually accidents happen and if a child was unaccompanied in the car's blind spot, I doubt the driver will have been found to be at fault (unless they were drunk, speeding, etc.).

Neverreturntoathread · 25/04/2022 17:10

Wtf? You let a two year old scoot several houses in front of you on a pavement with driveways? I don’t even let my seven year old do that! It was inevitable that this would happen at some point.

From the driver seat, you cannot see the child through the back window, they’re too short. This was 100% your fault, not the driver’s and certainly not your two year old who shouldn’t be responsible for spotting cars, working out driver behaviour/soeed and operating the brake, all while steering and balancing.

If a young child is on a scooter then either you are in a safe area with no driveways/cars, or they are next to you on the pavement - with you on the side nearest the cars, either jogging or them going at your walking speed.

You were lucky today.

tomatorich112 · 25/04/2022 17:11

Clearly they are not he almost died! I have exceptionally gifted children, I still parent them properly.

Accidents happen when we loose concentration, it's nothing to do with ability or intelligence it's just a momentary lapse.

Thinking your child is exceptional/gifted, almost lead to his death..that's on you!

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 17:12

He was a house length away when the car started reversing- my son was going too fast to stop in time and the driver didn't stop either. Son saw the lights at the rear side come on he said. I won't let him go fast on pavements again so it won't happen again.

OP posts: