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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to never allow scooters in residential area again?

197 replies

Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:05

My nearly 3 year old was a whisker away from being hit on the way back from school run today. Threw up when I got home. He's fast at scooting and goes a little way( 3-4 houses) ahead. Always always stays on the path and walks across quiet road with me. Today this car reversed straight off the drive in 1 go and missed him by a whisker on the path. Drove off and didn't acknowledge. Obviously looked once, assumed he'd stop/ was slow or didn't see him at all I don't know but didn't slow or check again and properly zoomed out. They had good visibility to the side we were approaching. He'd have been seriously injured at least if hit. I can't even think about it. Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

I asked why he didn't stop when I yelled and he said " I did stop but the brake isn't that quick. I was on the path, why didn't the car stop?" I just said he couldn't ever ride his scooter outside of a park again and carried him home in a state. His older brother has said he's not riding his scooter by houses ever again as it was scary to see :-(. I feel as I can only control my children not drivers this is the safest thing to do. It feels such a shame though. I don't even want to let them run on the pavement anymore :-(. Was I just being a really shit parent by allowing scooting or running in a quiet street on paths? My husband thinks it's the driver's fault and says just one of those things but I'm too scared to do anything other than slow walking holding hands with both......

OP posts:
CelebratingLifeAndLove · 25/04/2022 16:33

I hate scooters for exactly this reason. I was pulling out of my drive, I have a low wall but the kid was small and bent over for speed and I damn well nearly hit her. Fortunately I saw her in time but it made my blood run cold.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:34

He has been scooting since 18 months and has excellent control. Stops at corners, hedges, when I say and roads obviously. Driveways too normally. This is a stretch of road with 3 open/ clear driveways and he had a lapse in judgement for not stopping when the driver started moving initially. He was a good house away when they started reversing which is why I don't think they looked at all before reversing. I won't allow fast scooting from either down our road again tbh. It only takes one moment for them not to notice a moving car and if the driver doesn't look either ....

OP posts:
Seeline · 25/04/2022 16:34

They are both sensible by roads and 'hidden' driveways. He assumed the car would stop before it got to the pavement I think and the driver assumed the same.

A two year old dies not have the mental ability to make assessments such as this.
It's normally said that a child doesn't reliably grasp the basics of road safety until they reach 7yo - the ability to judge speed, distance etc

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:36

He doesn't judge speed no but he said he saw the rear lights go on and he knows that means cars will move.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:36

This was @Whatsmyname100 sorry.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 25/04/2022 16:37

He's 2.

He can't have excellent control and judgement. Because he's 2.

Mayvis · 25/04/2022 16:41

You are placing far too much responsibility for his safety on him. Of course he has lapses in judgement - he’s two! He should be scooting in the garden or at the park. Not along busy residential streets at school run time - so many distractions and hazards there, I’m shocked you think it was safe for him to do so in the first place.

Hellocatshome · 25/04/2022 16:41

He was a good house away when they started reversing
In which case he doesnt have excellent control or he would have stopped. He is 2 you are giving him far too much credit with regards his ability to judge situations and act appropriately.

AndAsIfByMagic · 25/04/2022 16:41

If it's near the school the driver could be there ages if he waits for people to pass. He may have been waiting a while anyway and seized what he thought was a gap in the traffic. I think he just didn't see your DC so low down.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 25/04/2022 16:43

A 3 year old shouldn’t be scootering a few houses ahead of you! Especially if he’s scooting fast, he’ll be easy to miss for drivers pulling out.

He needs to be at your side until he’s old enough to take care around drive ways!

theemmadilemma · 25/04/2022 16:43

Small child that young shouldn't be out of your reach, let alone scooting at speed down a road with drives on it that cars can and will be crossing.

You have to account for all the possible risks. You did not control the risks here.

There are all sorts of reasons a driver may not stop, but a tiny child wizzing over drives out of reach of a parent is just asking for an accident.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:44

Sounds like the consensus is my child needs to be grabbing distance or in a buggy. And even older kids only scooting at very slow speeds even on empty pavements.

Does the driver not have any responsibility here? I am angry with them too- I allow for kids being innattentive as a driver. Even teens and adults do stupid stuff with road safety sometimes after all. They had excellent visibility if they'd have looked at the path. They should look more than once and could have stopped before the path to check again. Normally there would have been 10s of kids racing along, we were a few minutes later today. The person behind me was yelling at the driver as they drove off ( older gentleman but I didn't recognise him)

OP posts:
Whatsmyname100 · 25/04/2022 16:45

This is such a hindrance and headache to drivers. I think you learned a valuable lesson today op, and I'm sorry that you had such a shock. You are responsible for your 2yo. There is no way whatsoever he should ever not be alongside you. As I said I saw a child get hurt really badly recently and the mother running from a distance.

theemmadilemma · 25/04/2022 16:47

That driver today might have been an arse. We weren't there, can't tell you.

What we can tell you is that your child should never have been in that position in the first place. I feel for the poor person, who does look once, twice, three times and still a small child wizzes out from no where and there's nothing they can do about it. Don't put your child or a driver in that position.

Figstar4eva · 25/04/2022 16:47

Driver should have been more careful or aware but I think this is on you. A nearly 3 year old shouldn't a) be scooting so fast that they cannot emergency stop and b) so far ahead of you especially when you know ppl maybe coming in/out of driveways. You let your child out of your control.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:48

He was going too fast in this instance I think.

OP posts:
ChanceNorman · 25/04/2022 16:49

You're completely in the wrong here and your behaviour was reckless. Had your ds been injured or worse, to be frank you'd only have yourself to blame.

He's two years old. Two. He shouldn't be scooting OR walking on roads anywhere other than right next to you, within grabbing distance.

The amount of trust you put in a toddler near roads and cars is terrifying. If he sees an interesting dog or child or ball or anything else on the opposite side of the road there is every chance he could suddenly bolt towards it.

If you trust him 100% not to do this, you're an idiot. Becaise he's TWO. You can't have 100% confidence in any two year old to do or not to anything. They're reckless, thoughtless, unpredictable and fast.

Thank your lucky stars you still have your child with you and up your game massively.

Hellocatshome · 25/04/2022 16:49

Does the driver not have any responsibility here?

Of course they do as plenty of people have said but when you are sitting next to your child's bedside making the decision to turn off the life support the fact it was the drivers responsibility is going to be of very little comfort to you.

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 16:49

Scooters are really dangerous in that context. You'd be better carrying the scooter to a local park and then letting your toddler scoot there (though then you'd probably be moaning about off-lead dogs or older kids on their bikes or something).

I agree with a pp - when my child was that age I didn't let go of his hand. I am often surprised when I see small kids scooting and riding way ahead of their parents. Clearly they are much less anxious than I was!

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:50

I completely agree with your second part- completely unfair on drivers in this example.

OP posts:
yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 16:50

I do think you should reverse into your drive where possible but it's not always practical.

And yes, despite the changes to the Highway Code, some drivers still think they are more important than pedestrians.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:51

I would not be moaning about dogs and other kids. My kids are really polite on scooters- they go fast but always give loads of room to others and follow my instructions normally.

OP posts:
yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 16:52

Sounds like the consensus is my child needs to be grabbing distance or in a buggy Absolutely 100% yes.

AchillesPoirot · 25/04/2022 16:53

How can they always give loads of room to others at aged 2? They're not reliable!

I had mine on reins at that age ffs.

ChuckMater · 25/04/2022 16:54

Doesn't matter how quiet the street is cars still come in and out of driveways. Your dc isn't even 3 yet, keep him with you fgs

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