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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to never allow scooters in residential area again?

197 replies

Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 25/04/2022 16:05

My nearly 3 year old was a whisker away from being hit on the way back from school run today. Threw up when I got home. He's fast at scooting and goes a little way( 3-4 houses) ahead. Always always stays on the path and walks across quiet road with me. Today this car reversed straight off the drive in 1 go and missed him by a whisker on the path. Drove off and didn't acknowledge. Obviously looked once, assumed he'd stop/ was slow or didn't see him at all I don't know but didn't slow or check again and properly zoomed out. They had good visibility to the side we were approaching. He'd have been seriously injured at least if hit. I can't even think about it. Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

I asked why he didn't stop when I yelled and he said " I did stop but the brake isn't that quick. I was on the path, why didn't the car stop?" I just said he couldn't ever ride his scooter outside of a park again and carried him home in a state. His older brother has said he's not riding his scooter by houses ever again as it was scary to see :-(. I feel as I can only control my children not drivers this is the safest thing to do. It feels such a shame though. I don't even want to let them run on the pavement anymore :-(. Was I just being a really shit parent by allowing scooting or running in a quiet street on paths? My husband thinks it's the driver's fault and says just one of those things but I'm too scared to do anything other than slow walking holding hands with both......

OP posts:
ChiselandBits · 26/04/2022 07:42

@Testingprof no, the bus stop is the end of the route so they are often waiting there for a few minutes. Also, a minute is a long time to be blocking traffic when they can't actually work out why you've stopped and aren't moving. When I reverse out, I wait til its clear and then complete the move in about 10 seconds. The obstruction to my view isn't actually "my fault" as its my neighbour's fence. Hard to explain really but the point I am making is that every single set up is different so you really can't make sweeping statements about it being "always" possible to do X.

BuanoKubiamVej · 26/04/2022 07:43

It was the driver's fault but I wouldn't let a 3yo go that far ahead. We used scooter straps (like a dog lead that goes to the top of the handle bars) for the first few years of scootering. Once older, children can understand that they should treat every driveway as a hazard and to check if there's a car about to pull out before scooting past, but a 3yo is way too young to cope with that.

spotcheck · 26/04/2022 07:45

woodhill · 25/04/2022 16:28

Driver should be more careful but your dc shouldn't be scooting ahead

This

He assumed the car would stop before it got to the pavement I think
OP - your child is 2. He's not making considered, rational decisions.

Just slow him down. Keep him closer to you and start instructing him about car noise, and watching out. How can he learn if you put him in a buggy?

Testingprof · 26/04/2022 07:47

ChiselandBits · 26/04/2022 07:42

@Testingprof no, the bus stop is the end of the route so they are often waiting there for a few minutes. Also, a minute is a long time to be blocking traffic when they can't actually work out why you've stopped and aren't moving. When I reverse out, I wait til its clear and then complete the move in about 10 seconds. The obstruction to my view isn't actually "my fault" as its my neighbour's fence. Hard to explain really but the point I am making is that every single set up is different so you really can't make sweeping statements about it being "always" possible to do X.

How can you reverse out in 10 seconds safely? Especially considering you can’t reverse in, in 10 seconds.

Cr3ateAUsername · 26/04/2022 07:48

There’s no way in hell I would allow my 2 year old to ride 3-4 houses ahead of me. If he was to get hit you would have been responsible, along with the driver.

Cr3ateAUsername · 26/04/2022 07:53

And the fact you think your TWO year old can make a rational decision as to whether a car is going to stop or not it absolutely shocking!

truhamboys · 26/04/2022 07:54

Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

YABU to think a helmet would make any difference in this situation whatsoever.

They're designed for low impact crashes - they'll help if the child overbalances and hits their head on the tarmac.

They do very little for high impact crashes, or for crush injuries, and absolutely nothing in situations where the pelvis is driven over.

Clymene · 26/04/2022 07:55

BuanoKubiamVej · 26/04/2022 07:43

It was the driver's fault but I wouldn't let a 3yo go that far ahead. We used scooter straps (like a dog lead that goes to the top of the handle bars) for the first few years of scootering. Once older, children can understand that they should treat every driveway as a hazard and to check if there's a car about to pull out before scooting past, but a 3yo is way too young to cope with that.

The child isn't even 3, he's 2.

It's absolutely crazy letting a baby scoot ahead without a strap.

Loopyloopy · 26/04/2022 07:58

I think that it's quite sad that we have built things so that kids can't scoot freely.

sashh · 26/04/2022 08:10

You can't always see a small child.

I remember parking at a supermarket in the disabled bay, these bays have a big sign in front, so you can't back in if you want to use your car boot. Anyway I got back to the car, put the stuff in the boot and got ready to go.

A family were parking next to me and getting a child out of the car.

I wound my window down because I couldn't see the child, mum pointed and he had run down a row of parked cars.

If I hadn't seen him in the car I would have had no way to know there was a child. I doubt any other adult would have seen him either.

It doesn't really matter whose fault it was, your child is vulnerable and you are responsible for their safety, a toddler should be within grabbing range on a road.

NewandNotImproved · 26/04/2022 08:21

UnderripeBanana · 25/04/2022 23:24

Can't believe you're getting such a battering OP, surely it's the driver that needs to look more carefully when driving ON A BLOODY FOOTPATH.

The likely did look, but it'd be impossible to see a tiny 2yr old baby , leaning over, travelling quickly, with no parent near him at all.

yellowsuninthesky · 26/04/2022 08:24

truhamboys · 26/04/2022 07:54

Thank fuck he had his helmet on.

YABU to think a helmet would make any difference in this situation whatsoever.

They're designed for low impact crashes - they'll help if the child overbalances and hits their head on the tarmac.

They do very little for high impact crashes, or for crush injuries, and absolutely nothing in situations where the pelvis is driven over.

Exactly this. Helmets aren't some sort of universal panacea. They won't work if you are squashed by a car (and most people don't wear them properly anyway).

yellowsuninthesky · 26/04/2022 08:26

Loopyloopy · 26/04/2022 07:58

I think that it's quite sad that we have built things so that kids can't scoot freely.

Well this is quite a different point and you are of course correct. One of the reasons there were so many threads on here in lockdown about inconsiderate walkers/joggers/runners/cyclists/anyone blocking paths was simply because we give cars all the space and people on foot/two wheels hardly any.

But for the moment, until a government decides to invest in proper cycling and walking infrastructure, we have to take care.

yellowsuninthesky · 26/04/2022 08:28

SeemsSoUnfair · 25/04/2022 22:56

I do see the residential street as different to a carpark actually- pedestrians have right of way and cars should be looking.

Will right of way really matter if the worst happened?

Pedestrians should have right of way in a car park as well. I don't see any difference although it's sensible not to walk behind a car when it is reversing into a space.

Crimesean · 26/04/2022 08:31

I had something like that happen when I was an au pair, only the driver nearly hit the double buggy with a 3-month-old and 2 year old in. It was awful, I screamed at the driver, burst into tears and went straight back home with the kids where I was sick! I hadn't done anything wrong, the driver just hadn't looked before pulling out of his drive.

It wasn't your fault, but in future I'd keep your DS closer to you when scooting, replace the brake pads on his scooter if it doesn't stop straight away, and if that doesn't work then buy him a new, better scooter with decent brakes.

I hope that driver's next shit is a hedgehog.

BungleandGeorge · 26/04/2022 08:31

‘He’s fast on a scooter’ this is your problem. Even if a car is inching out and stops by the time your child realises and actually stops- they’re at the car. Seen it so many times with small children going fast on scooters which are much faster than running. A 2 year old isn’t very visible, they don’t have the skills to safely scoot fast in a built up area. You allowed him to do something dangerous. Which we’ve all done but I think you need to accept it and not let him do it again.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 26/04/2022 08:38

We share our driveway with two neighbours. New neighbours moved in and proceeded to allow their small boy to wander around our garden and bang on our patio windows to wind up the dog.

I reverse out of my parking spot onto our drive and at the time I drove a large 4x4. I asked my neighbours politely to not let their child wander around our property, pointing out that I would not see him when reversing. My twatty neighbours response was “oh, are you one of those 4x4 drivers who doesn’t look behind when you are reversing?”

Er no, I don’t expect small children to be wandering around parked cars unsupervised.

ChocolateHippo · 26/04/2022 09:29

It's odd that there are so many adults who walk behind reversing cars. Yes, you might have right of way and yes, the driver should check there's nothing behind them but the reality is cars have huge blind spots and drivers often won't hear you if they've got their windows up. Whereas it's quite easy as a pedestrian to hear a car engine starting or a moving car reversing. I would never walk behind or push a buggy behind a car with its engine running unless I was 100% sure the driver had seen me and was stopping.

ChocolateHippo · 26/04/2022 09:29

It's odd that there are so many adults who walk behind reversing cars. Yes, you might have right of way and yes, the driver should check there's nothing behind them but the reality is cars have huge blind spots and drivers often won't hear you if they've got their windows up. Whereas it's quite easy as a pedestrian to hear a car engine starting or a moving car reversing. I would never walk behind or push a buggy behind a car with its engine running unless I was 100% sure the driver had seen me and was stopping.

ChocolateHippo · 26/04/2022 09:29

It's odd that there are so many adults who walk behind reversing cars. Yes, you might have right of way and yes, the driver should check there's nothing behind them but the reality is cars have huge blind spots and drivers often won't hear you if they've got their windows up. Whereas it's quite easy as a pedestrian to hear a car engine starting or a moving car reversing. I would never walk behind or push a buggy behind a car with its engine running unless I was 100% sure the driver had seen me and was stopping.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 26/04/2022 09:30

@Crimesean that hedgehog comment really made me laugh!!! That is so scary though- my friend had similar happen a few years ago.....

Yes the issue is he can get to high speeds on his scooter in a short space of time which is obviously great fun so have said just walking on paths to him now. He and his brother wanted to run being dragons this morning but I've said no for now...

Like I said it is the norm round here to let kids do this so I've swung from overprotective with my first to a bit too relaxed with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 26/04/2022 09:31

@Crimesean that hedgehog comment really made me laugh!!! That is so scary though- my friend had similar happen a few years ago.....

Yes the issue is he can get to high speeds on his scooter in a short space of time which is obviously great fun so have said just walking on paths to him now. He and his brother wanted to run being dragons this morning but I've said no for now...

Like I said it is the norm round here to let kids do this so I've swung from overprotective with my first to a bit too relaxed with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 26/04/2022 09:34

@Crimesean that hedgehog comment really made me laugh!!! That is so scary though- my friend had similar happen a few years ago.....

Yes the issue is he can get to high speeds on his scooter in a short space of time which is obviously great fun so have said just walking on paths to him now. He and his brother wanted to run being dragons this morning but I've said no for now...

Like I said it is the norm round here to let kids do this so I've swung from overprotective with my first to a bit too relaxed with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 26/04/2022 09:43

@Crimesean that hedgehog comment really made me laugh!!! That is so scary though- my friend had similar happen a few years ago.....

Yes the issue is he can get to high speeds on his scooter in a short space of time which is obviously great fun so have said just walking on paths to him now. He and his brother wanted to run being dragons this morning but I've said no for now...

Like I said it is the norm round here to let kids do this so I've swung from overprotective with my first to a bit too relaxed with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherpark2020 · 26/04/2022 09:44

No idea why there are loads of those sorry!!

OP posts:
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