To hate the drinking culture in the UK?

[newjerseyp]

I despair of the drinking culture in the UK. Everything revolves around alcohol. I go to a dinner party - alcohol first, food plus alcohol, dessert plus alcohol, then more alcohol to finish. Sunny day? Let's go to a beer garden! Catch up with friends? Let's meet for a drink (usually alcohol). BBQs I see more people drinking alcohol than actually eating. Alcohol is used to celebrate (birthdays, graduations etc) and commiserate (funerals). It's very hard to avoid. Every occasion I go to I instantly get asked, 'are you having a drink?'

Yesterday (Sunday) about 75 percent of my friends were hungover. I was trying to make plans to go out a walk and most of the replies were 'had too much to drink last night'. Of course you could go to these things and just not drink but then you have to explain yourself and the temptation is there and it's also boring being surrounded by tipsy/drunk people when sober.

Alcohol is second to cigarettes as the biggest killer, even before illegal drugs yet it is so normalised and glamourised in society and there doesn't seem to be much incentive outlined by the government to change this.

AIBU to just hate it?

Absolutely, I am with you 100%. Things seem to be slowly changing for the better. Many younger people don't drink so much.

Yanbu but things have changed so much in the last 10 years and there's much less of a drinking culture than there was.

I'm just into my 30s and many of my friends are almost tea total now. Parties and events have to cater for non drinkers at least equally now.

Many teens don't drink at all now.

YANBU to hate it. YABU to judge your friends though (assuming they're not problem drinkers causing harm to others).

I don't drink, but I still really enjoy a barbecue or afternoon in a beer garden, I just have soft drinks.

I think as a culture we've normalised drinking too much (wine o'clock, Mummy's little G&T etc.) It's definitely harmful, and contributes to problem drinking and health issues. However, celebrations etc. have always been normal times to drink. It's the other times, normal everyday stuff, where a lot of the danger is - drinking a bottle of wine most nights at home has become far too normal for many during the pandemic.

I don't drink or smoke, although I like the smell of tobacco and I don't mind others having the occasional wine or beer with a Sunday lunch or with dinner. It's the ones that take it too far and smoke too much and drink too much where this is an issue.

Well, I for one love it! Wouldn't do for us all to be the same.

I think your entirely justified in your observations. When I was young (18) it was fun to experiment with drinking, going out with friends etc. I soon realised that overdoing the booze more often brought out the worst in people which put me off. don’t get me wrong, I still thoroughly enjoy meeting friends at the pub for a pint or two, but that’s enough for me. I also enjoy sharing a good bottle of wine with a meal. having said all that though, I’m not the alcohol police, so if others enjoy drinking to excess, then so be it - but can they honestly say that they can do it without affecting others? Rarely so…

I would say that culturally, it's a lot less prevalent now than it was 20 years ago.

I agree with you. Alcohol is listed as a known carcinogen and yet people gulp it down and question those who don’t drink it. YET if they were offered a carcinogenic drug from their GP they’d be up in arms. The cognitive dissonance re: alcohol is absolutely shocking

Interesting, what age bracket are you in?

To be honest, whilst I do agree there's a drinking culture in some circles, it's not something I have seen now since part way through university. I don't drink, and the majority of my friends don't drink, or drink very rarely. I cannot remember the last time I have been invited to a pub, though DP does go occasionally for work events - I have only been in a pub twice since the December before the pandemic started; I did go to a theatre pub and have a alcoholic drink on a couple of occasions as well.

I don't understand why you feel you have to explain yourself- just get yourself a non-alcoholic drink and most people will not even notice.

Alcohol kills as many people as smoking, and has knock on consequences too - particularly with Violence. I've pretty much decided not to fund companies that profit from such behaviour - I am also against alcohol and the advertising standards.

But the reality is- not every social circle is like yours and many, many people don't have a friendship group where 75% of the people got so bladdered one night they couldn't even go for a walk the next day. Perhaps it's time to focus on what you can change?

I'm by no means against alcohol or other people drinking it, but I regularly have to give up alcohol for a period of time mainly for health reasons. I'm always really surprised how much it's pushed on me to 'just have a small one' or 'go on! it's just one glass of wine!" It was bad when I wasn't drinking when I was pregnant (but hadn't announced) as people kept asking over and over if I'd have a drink - it's sad but in the end I just stopped going out and made my excuses to do something different

I agree. We are totally brainwashed. Its a proven carcinogenic. I haven't drunk for over 3 years now but I was totally sucked into believing that alcohol equalled a good time. People are scared to stop drinking because life won't be as 'fun' any more or they won't be able to unwind without it.
Even enjoying the taste is bs because it actually tastes quite nasty after a period of abstinence.
I live a much fuller life since I quit and I'm certainly much healthier.

I'm 29

That's really interesting - Im a few years older than you (mid thirties). I definitely know it was around ten years ago that people noticeably stopped drinking alcohol and there was a huge switch in our evening activities.

YANBU. There's currently an alcohol ban on ScotRail trains. It's difficult to police but I feel it's like smoking, give it time and culture will change.
However there's pressure to revert to "normal".., can folk not go 4 hours with an alcoholic drink.
It seems that "the holiday starts when I open the first one" is now common.
And I like a beer!

I think people are gradually drinking less actually. I don’t drink at all and neither does my bf. We happily go to the pub, beer garden, etc and just have soft drinks - we don’t find it’s an issue with friends at all. I have no issue with people drinking themselves btw - live and let live I say

.. without an alcoholic drink..

YANBU to feel how you feel, I love it personally though.

I don't understand why you feel you have to explain yourself- just get yourself a non-alcoholic drink and most people will not even notice

she doesn’t but drunk people get very defensive when you do t drink: eg “don’t be so boring!”, “just have one!”, “why aren’t you drinking? Are you an alcoholic?” Blah blah they can get really weird about it in my experience and it’s annoying

I do think there’s a much better choice of NA drinks around now too - I love an erdinger beer for example which is pretty widely available now, or the NA cider you can get now - a few years ago you were stuck with Kaliber (which is vile)

I am in New Zealand and we have the same drinking culture so its not just confined to the UK.

BBQs are particulrly bad, at a family BBQ my two brothers could easily go through a 12 pack together. Their kids will all drink a fair bit despite having their kids around. My nephew's son's 1st birthday is him and his wife's mates going on the piss. Their drinking behaviour has now rubbed off on my adult DD, any family gathering she will sink the beers. And of course when she is on a night out with her friends she has quite a few.

Its one thing nights out because she likes to have fun and enjoy herself, after all she is young but its drinking during the day that gets me. There really is no need to have a bottle of beer in your hand all afternoon.

I think it might be an age thing. I enjoy a drink and drink regularly but I'd say now (mid 40s) a drink is taken alongside whatever is going on (or not, depending on the situation) rather than being the purpose of the event. Vs my 20s when you're right, it was all about the drinking.

For example, we had friends over for a BBQ last week - we definitely had a few drinks but mostly we were just catching up, playing with the dog and the DC etc. I had dinner with a friend last week and we had a single gin and tonic each but ordered way too much food! . I will be going on a long dog walk with a friend tomorrow, and getting a coffee (possibly cake too) after, no alcohol. Another friend and I will meet for a quick catch up drink before seeing a movie next week.

This is my life these days - the bulk of my social activities are either alcohol free or involve low alcohol consumption.

The last time I was in an actual pub was meeting an ex work colleague for a catch up about 2 months ago. He did surprise me by consuming 5 pints. I had one large and one small glass of wine and it felt more than enough!

The drinking culture seems to have changed massively.

When I was young, it was going out and drinking heavily most weekends.

Now it seems to be people having a 'cheeky g&t' or glass of wine out of habit on a nearly daily basis - and it seems to be people in their 30s/40's.

From what I'm seeing, younger people are not using alcohol nearly as much as I did when I was young. So I think the culture will change again as they get older.

Most of my weekends revolve around food/drinks and there’s nothing wrong with liking a drink imo

YANBU to hate it.

But YABU to think other people's business is any of your business. You don't like drinking, but that's not the fault of other people.

I'm not a massive drinker by any means, but if I was inviting people round for a meal or celebrating something, I would absolutely serve alcohol because I enjoy it socially and would most of my guests. If someone doesn't want to drink alcohol at my house, no problem, there will be plenty of soft drinks for them (and zero questions asked or comments made about them not wanting a glass of wine). But I'm not going to refrain from offering or drinking alcohol just because one person gets in a huff about other people drinking.

It's not up to your friends to arrange their Saturday leisure activities around you wanting to go for a walk on a Sunday. They don't have to be available on demand, on the off-chance that you want to do something.

I'm 47 and am coming round to this way of thinking too. I dread to think how many ££s I have spent on booze in my life and how many hours/days I have lost to being hungover. Nowadays I drink far far less and am contemplating giving up altogether, mainly for health reasons (menopause). The saved ££s will come in useful too - I can spend them on things I enjoy like playing my sport. I'm sleeping better too. Well, still waking up ridiculously early, but am going to bed earlier to compensate.

I read something by Julia Bradbury yesterday, who has been suffering from breast cancer. She wishes she had given up drinking a decade ago. That's not to say her cancer was caused by alcohol, but I think reducing/cutting out alcohol makes you think more carefully about your health and lifestyle all round. She has cut out sugar too.