To hate the drinking culture in the UK?

[newjerseyp]

I despair of the drinking culture in the UK. Everything revolves around alcohol. I go to a dinner party - alcohol first, food plus alcohol, dessert plus alcohol, then more alcohol to finish. Sunny day? Let's go to a beer garden! Catch up with friends? Let's meet for a drink (usually alcohol). BBQs I see more people drinking alcohol than actually eating. Alcohol is used to celebrate (birthdays, graduations etc) and commiserate (funerals). It's very hard to avoid. Every occasion I go to I instantly get asked, 'are you having a drink?'

Yesterday (Sunday) about 75 percent of my friends were hungover. I was trying to make plans to go out a walk and most of the replies were 'had too much to drink last night'. Of course you could go to these things and just not drink but then you have to explain yourself and the temptation is there and it's also boring being surrounded by tipsy/drunk people when sober.

Alcohol is second to cigarettes as the biggest killer, even before illegal drugs yet it is so normalised and glamourised in society and there doesn't seem to be much incentive outlined by the government to change this.

AIBU to just hate it?

I think it does depend on age and social circle. It does seem to me like there is still a drinking culture but agree it is less than in previous years and thankfully less prevalent in teenagers.

I'm late 30s and at uni there was a huge binge drinking culture. The only person I knew who didn't drink was Muslim.

This continued into our 20s and after a spell of verging on addiction, I have now been pretty much teatotal for about 8 years (occasionally will have the odd one at Christmas).

But amongst my school and 'mum' friends, although most seem to be able to drink in moderation, there are definitely a few who I would say have alcohol problems... But because heavy drinking is still normalised so they don't necessarily see it themselves.

On one hand, I kind of miss drinking, but I can now see it for what it is, which is a poison of which the negative effects far far outweight any positives.

Tbh I kind of knew that already due to growing up with alcoholic parents, but it's hard to see when you're in the midst of it yourself.

I'd advise developing new friendships with people who don't drink, or at least don't drink so much that they're boring to be around or pester you to drink more. You don't have to completely discard your current friends, but if they don't change, you may find yourself gradually spending less time with them in favour of your new, non-alcohol-dependent friends.

I don't think there's anything wrong with quietly "judging" people for consistently drinking so much that they can't take a walk on a Sunday. I wouldn't say anything to them, because it's their life, but certainly I'd be concerned and/or annoyed. It's concerning, annoying behaviour, and yes, I silently judge it.

It's almost as if....other people have different experiences than you. Or are you one of those people who believe that your experiences are everyone else's experiences?

Surely we can say the same about your OP? You are assuming everyone has the same experience as you with regards to drinking.

Personal choice. I know many non drinkers and have never not done something due to a hangover - I'm guessing you either have heavier drinking friends than me or they aren't that keen on meeting on Sundays.

I'm more fed up certain people I know want to meet at children attractions with no decent food or alcohol, my kids are adults, I have no interest in play parks or petting zoos!

I agree, and that comes from someone who had their social life revolve completely around alcohol. I found non drinkers boring.

I've been tee total for 2 years now, I can't think of anything worse than the way I was living my life, the constant anxiety, the damage to my health. I know some people think I'm boring now but I don't really care, I much prefer this way of life. Lockdown really helped because there were no social engagements and me and DH decided to not drink in the house.

I honestly think a lot of it is habit, life without alcohol sounds boring to so someone who has their whole life revolve around it, but the longer you are without it you start to not miss it.

I can't speak for everyone, but that's my experience.

YANBU about that kind of culture, but I don't have friends who pressurise me to drink or who miss things because they are hungover.

I really enjoy a drink, it's one of the great pleasures of life for me. But it not about getting trollied and making yourself ill or having social or health problems missing out because you are hungover.

It's almost as if....other people have different experiences than you. Or are you one of those people who believe that your experiences are everyone else's experiences?

But isn't that what you are doing yourself, OP, if you are saying this is a UK wide cultural thing and not just your mates being a bit crap?

I think it's a friendship group thing to be honest. The things you mention (dinner party, barbecue, beer garden) are all things I do frequently without drinking, and it's great. By my late twenties I found everyone pretty much moved away from heavy drinking and it's never been an issue whether someone wants to drink or not, or even commented on.

It would be frustrating to want to do things and have friends be too hungover as that to me feels like a very childish/teenage way of life, but it's their choice. I'd just be looking to make friends who had similar attitudes around drinking too so it wasn't a case of always being at the mercy of someone else's hangover.

Britain undoubtedly has a toxic drinking culture though, I'm with you on that. But it doesn't mean your social circle has to.

How old are you OP? I’m mid 40s and a lot of my friends don’t drink now (or drink infrequently, same as me). It would be unusual for most of my friends to have a hangover on a Sunday (or a Saturday for that matter!), which makes me think you’re a fair bit younger. When I was in my 20s and early 30s, yes, I would have found your post quite familiar but not at the age I am now.

It's not the amount the British drink, it's how we behave with it.

The Euro's final day was a national disgrace..the best example of how shocking this countries relationship with alcohol is.

As someone has mentioned upthread, other nations may drink more, but can behave themselves with it.

I don't think the OP's problem is with alcohol, it's how people act in this country after consuming it.

I also find it impossible to have a good time with people who are drinking, if I'm out. Being sober around drunk or even merry people is extremely awkward and not enjoyable.

In relation to the UK's drinking culture, what I have noticed and am claiming to be the case is backed up by a shit ton of research which I will include links to below. I'm not just pulling it out of my arse like the previous poster. There's also a shit ton of research that counters previous posters statement.

https://www.sheffield.ac.uk/news/nr/surprising-research-into-british-drinking-culture-1.569142

https://www.drugsandalcohol.ie/25432/1/AlcoholResearchhUKMeasuringgalcohol.pdf

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=uk+drinking+culture+research&hl=en&assdt=0&assvis=1&oi=scholart#d=gsqabs&t=1650895729879&u=%23p%3DDz2gaeGVjfEJ

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=uk+drinking+culture+research&hl=en&assdt=0&assvis=1&oi=scholart#d=gsqabs&t=1650895766186&u=%23p%3DyUi1xYvSzYQJ

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=uk+drinking+culture+research&hl=en&assdt=0&assvis=1&oi=scholart#d=gsqabs&t=1650895831029&u=%23p%3Dg1oChaxteh4J

I think it is much better than it used to be. Younger people seem to make better decisions out alcohol, although the press would tell you otherwise as they like to pedal the 'all young people are feckless' narrative. I think it is more prevalent in boomer and gen X generations. I used to live for the weekend and get wrecked, but I wish I had stopped and settled down a bit sooner. I didn't have many hobbies or interest as a kids as we didn't have a great deal of money, and I think that is the issue. I didn't know how to have fun any other way.

I still drink, but less than 14 units and I hate getting drunk now as I'm a very shit drunk anyway. It affects my mood very badly.

I'm glad there is less of a drinking culture with younger people now, as I don't want my own kids wasting their time and money on it like I did.

I'm not saying there isn't a big drinking culture in the UK, by the way, @newjerseyp I was calling you out for criticising another poster for making a generalisation.

And in particular your comment It's almost as if....other people have different experiences than you. Or are you one of those people who believe that your experiences are everyone else's experiences?

You are on the one hand saying your experiences are everyone else's experience, but apparently it's not ok for other posters to say that.

There is a drinking culture but you have the choice not to hang around with people who drink heavily and don't handle alcohol well.

Late teens and 20s it was all about the alcohol and parties and wild times.

In my 30s me and my friends were all TTC or breastfeeding so quite a dry decade.

In my 40s now and I don't remember the last time I was hungover but I appreciate an expensive gin or good wine. I can have a great time drinking. I can also have a great time not drinking.

Maybe it's your age or your social circle OP. Whilst lots of people do drink to excess. Lots don't.

People saying it's just a problem with OP's friendship group - I'm sorry but this is very much a cultural problem. The more you travel the more you realise that other nationalities don't drink like the Brits do!! Yes of course there are plenty of people here that don't drink or drink sensibly but it's a bit weird to go out and try to make a whole new friendship group with teetotal people, isn't it? Often you have no idea how much people will drink until you have a night out with them. It's just normalised here to drink a lot or for drink to be the focus of an occasion. There are so many people that drink a lot that it's hard to avoid them in your social group. Even if you go out and don't drink a drop it's very likely you'll be surrounded by rowdy drinks. It's just how our town centres are.

I love alcohol in moderation and imagine I'll drink it for the rest of my life.
But I'm 38 and of that age group where (for my friends at least) weekends from ages 15-21 were spent getting absolutely wrecked. I mean drinking to the point of blackout, laying on the pavement in town, vomiting all over yourself in the back of a taxi etc etc. How hideously damaging is that?!
Then through my 20s I drank less as I'd started working, but still got pretty hammered each weekend, with mates over playing Sing Star until 4am and so on.
I really calmed WAY down at 30, not for my health but because (for good or bad) I was worried about looking old.
Now I detest overdoing it and only do so by mistake about once every 3 years! I like 2 glasses of wine on a Friday and Saturday, and have no trouble with moderating myself, and like to wake up feeling fresh and would hate to waste any of my weekend feeling hungover. I still feel pressure to drink though - at this age! One of the times I got accidentally drunk was only recently and there were comments the day after about how much 'fun' I was, as I'm usually fairly reserved. The implication being that it's boring to be moderate.
It's definitely falling out of fashion though as several friends have gone tee-total and all of the under 30s that I know barely drink (if at all).

I also don't recognise this view that teenagers don't drink much. I live in Headingley which is teeming with students. There's a pub crawl tradition here and every Friday, Saturday and Sundays there are literally hundreds/thousands of drunk students. It's a challenge to avoid stepping in vomit!

The more you travel the more you realise that other nationalities don't drink like the Brits do

Other countries don't drink like the Brits do but certainly every country in Europe has a high level of alcohol-related illness -and I don't think the UK is actually the worst on that score.

In fact I think France is worst for things like liver disease. Germany, Czech Republic and Lithuania have very high alcohol consumption.

Presumably they are 18+ though? Generation X started way younger.

YANBU.

I hate the whole squealy giggly ‘Prosecco’ thing aimed at women. Every other birthday card seems to reference it, ‘wine o’clock’ ‘gin o’clock’ it just isn’t funny, witty or original after the first time it was said. It’s tedious and tiresome and most Prosecco is horrible sickly and substandard. But we are all supposed to teeter about in our heels getting drunk and making tired old jokes about what ‘bad’ mothers we are.

And I LIKE wine, a cold beer, a cocktail. I just don’t need to go all fey about it and pretend I can’t get through a minor parenting stress without it.

Totally agree. I also see a lot of people who are clearly alcoholics but won’t seem to realise that they are, or don’t care.

The UK is only mid green in this infographic. And a lot of that will be due to Scotland, who drink far more than England and Wales. Frnace, Ireland, Germany, Belgium, Portgual, Czech Republic, Lithuania and others have a higher consumption.

landgeist.com/2021/07/09/alcohol-consumption-in-europe/

landgeist.com/2021/07/09/alcohol-consumption-in-europe/

I totally agree. I'm very early 50s and I think it's really bad and normalised within my rough age-group. A big change in the last 30 years has been the consumption in the home and amongst women I think. The whole wine o'clock thing on Fridays on Facebook that reached its apogee a few years back used to irritate me to fuck.
I'm not teetotal myself but I really notice how many social things revolve around alcohol to an extent they wouldn't in the past, even things that are nominally child centric like family and friend picnics in the park and camping. I'm not talking about a beer or a glass of wine but parents getting pissed with young children in the mix.
A couple of years ago I bumped into a friend and we were talking about getting together to catch up one morning that week, I said come round for coffee and cake, and she widened her eyes, - "Coffee???!!!" - Silly me, obviously only gin or rank Prosecco would do.
I still drink socially and enjoy wine in moderation with meals out and occasionally at home, but I have cut back on the friends who only seem to function on alcohol. I mean if you can't enjoy a conversation together sober you've probably not got enough in common.
Both my parents drank moderately but I never saw either drunk until I was a teenager and that was my father, on one occasion. Lots of nice mummies and daddies I know get pissed around their children. Pissed enough to be loud and erratic.

The 'mom needs wine' culture is so rotten and toxic. I can't believe most people don't look past the surface.