To hate the drinking culture in the UK?

[newjerseyp]

I despair of the drinking culture in the UK. Everything revolves around alcohol. I go to a dinner party - alcohol first, food plus alcohol, dessert plus alcohol, then more alcohol to finish. Sunny day? Let's go to a beer garden! Catch up with friends? Let's meet for a drink (usually alcohol). BBQs I see more people drinking alcohol than actually eating. Alcohol is used to celebrate (birthdays, graduations etc) and commiserate (funerals). It's very hard to avoid. Every occasion I go to I instantly get asked, 'are you having a drink?'

Yesterday (Sunday) about 75 percent of my friends were hungover. I was trying to make plans to go out a walk and most of the replies were 'had too much to drink last night'. Of course you could go to these things and just not drink but then you have to explain yourself and the temptation is there and it's also boring being surrounded by tipsy/drunk people when sober.

Alcohol is second to cigarettes as the biggest killer, even before illegal drugs yet it is so normalised and glamourised in society and there doesn't seem to be much incentive outlined by the government to change this.

AIBU to just hate it?

I have lived in many European cities and it certainly isn’t confined to the U.K. In Spain for example people regularly sit in bars until the early hours drinking. Wine with dinner is almost a given.
I like a drink. I don’t like some of the behaviour that seems to come alongside groups of people drinking, particularly in town/city centres at the weekend, so I avoid that sort of situation.
I don’t ever feel pressured into drinking though, sometimes I don’t fancy it when out with friends etc, so I just don’t drink. No one ever seems to question it. I’m late 30’s though, and my group of friends all have stressful jobs and young children so generally have to be up at the crack of dawn even at weekends, which isn’t really compatible with hangovers.

I always answer that question with "Yes. I am." and watch them furiously try to back-track!

If there's one thing someone with an alcohol problem hates, it's people who've given up drinking. It seems to feel like a personal attack to them.

And I have found there are good and bad non alcoholic versions of drinks just as the is good and bad alcoholic versions of drinks. And I can easily remind people of bad wines or beers if they say they think the non alcoholic stuff is particularly bad. Plus make a few recommendations for nice stuff. 😉

I agree OP. I’ve been through tons with my mental health and everyone is well aware of this but I’m still “being boring” and “here comes the non drinker…”. I once met this lovely lady and we really clicked (a mutual friend in common), who after hours of having a laugh together found out I don’t drink and she actually said “What a shame”. I haven’t been invited to anything our mutual friend has done where drink is involved. Clearly I need new friends and family who accept me for who I am. In actual fact I was a terrible drunk in my 20’s and people used to tell me to my face I couldn’t handle it and I ruined their fun. So I stopped drinking and that’s no fun either, clearly.

I wonder if people feel judged by non drinkers and that’s why it’s pushed? All this “Go on, let your hair down” mentality that I see a lot.
I’m definitely more fun sober ;)

I'm 50s. Most people I knew were drinking every weekend by the age of 13/14. If you looked old enough, in pubs and bars, if not, in the park. Very little occurred socially from then on that didn't involve alcohol. In our late teens we were heavy binge drinkers, and the quality of the night out was considered to be directly related to the amount drunk. Most people still drink a lot, but after having children it moved to be more home based. Only one of my female friends is teetotal, the rest drink wine every night, up to a bottle. I've only ever drunk socially, never saw the point of sitting drinking in the house, as it energises rather than relaxes me, and I think its had a positive impact of my health compared to my peers. I look younger (despite sunbathing and smoking for years) am slimmer and have no health issues. I'm not judging anyone, as I don't drink much because I don't want to, not because I'm uptight or disapprove; but I genuinely believe that it's the single biggest favour I've done myself.

The UK drinking culture isn't as big as in several European countries.

"Latvia and Austria have the highest level of alcohol consumption, with over 12 litres per adult, followed by the Czech Republic, France, Bulgaria, Lithuania and Luxembourg, with over 11 litres per adult."

The Republic of Ireland drinks 11 litres per adult.

The UK stands at 9.8 litres per adult.

Personally, I don't like the drinking culture anywhere and am teetotal.

YANBU. In 43 and its like alcohol is part of who I am. In the 90s binge drinking wasn't just accepted, it was actively encouraged by drinking venues, with cheap drinks and deals and if you don't drink people think you're weird. I do think young people drink less though which is encouraging.

I agree 100%. I used to think it was normal but now I realise it's a very British problem. I've travelled a lot and just don't see the same sort of binge drinking happening. My in-laws live in southern Europe and people have a small glass of wine with a meal and that's it. They just don't understand why Brits enjoy drinking to the extent that they're staggering about and slurring their words. The other day I was out in Leeds City centre at 7pm on a Saturday. What I witnessed was appalling! So many people absolutely wasted, falling over. One woman bent over and vomiting on the pavement. She was in such a position that her skirt was over her back and I could see her entire arse! Other women drunkenly crying or yelling. Men shouting or being aggressive. Jesus Christ! What a country. I find it so vulgar and repulsive. Ive been out in Spain, Italy and Portugal at midnight and later and not once person has appeared drunk! It was amazing to see people socialising late at night and bring completely sober.

I’m early 30s and socialise with and without alcohol being involved. Do you never meet friends for a coffee? Or a walk? Or shopping?

Some of my friends drink quite a lot, others are pretty much teetotal… it’s never been a huge deal 🤷‍♀️.

This really must depend on your circle of friends. Nothing like this with mine. Some people drink. Some don’t. No drama.

Same here. I have a few friends who drink a lot, some who have the odd one or two at social occasions, and some who are teetotal. We still manage to all get on without judging each other for their drinking habits!

are you perhaps choosing the wrong friends?

As a sober alcoholic, I agree!

It's utterly frustrating how much alcohol is the focus of every 'occasion'. I don't have a major issue being around drinking, though I don't like drunk people but it does seem engrained in UK culture.

On a side note it's shame that more places also don't cater more to non drinkers who might like a nice fancy drink still. Best places I seems to have found for mocktails are Vietnamese restuarants.

as some one who's been teetotal my whole life i total agree.

im in a nice nature area(i live on the mountain practically in the forest)so its not classed as rough or estate ish(ive nothing against these places im just explaining my set up)

the amount of my generation and above that has done nothing with their life after leaving school and staying in the village they were raised in are 99%
they spend their time watching rugby, social club events nightly, go to the social rugby club and drink exsevesly .this gets repeated with their kids so its 3-4 generations in.2 and 3 year old are in rugby clubs here

im very happy here as its safe, very nature based and its like a old fashioned welsh village you see in the movies but for "fun" its nothing but rugby and social club events associated with the rugby club.

i dont want to go to clubs and pubs and was never interested in my teens 20s etc (im 41)
in fact ive never attended the club i mentioned above as i have zero interested in drinking, the culture of the club and rugby ,ive always enjoyed outdoors and the cinema and tv and films(we have 2 80 inch tvs as we love films that much)

as a welsh person living in the valleys(drinking and rugby is like a religion here)ive always been classes as odd as i dont like either.
my parents was brought up here we moved when i was 13 but ive stayed here as i have a lovely big 3 bedroom on a mountain.

i also home educate and parent alternatively and even though people are friendly to me i dont have local friends and im classes as different as im the only one that dont sent my child to the local village school.
what i did years ago was find my people.

it is mostly online groups and i have to travel 30-40 minutes for the nearest home education group but its stopped me felling lonely as like i said i dont "fit in" with the local culture

i think in this country drinking and smoking should be banned. it would improve so many lives.

YANBU

I think for a lot of people binge drinking is a way of avoiding things, feeling anything too deeply or changing their lives. You have a few days a week where you don't drink, start to feel just about normal and then back on the booze then you're hungover so of course you can't begin to do anything except have your hangover and so the cycle goes on.

For some friends it's fine not to drink but for others it really is an issue if you don't drink with them - it's as if you're drawing attention to their consumption and they don't like that.

Don't know what the answer is but yes the drinking culture in the UK is huge compared to some places eg some European countries where getting shitfaced would be thought of as pitiful.

I do noticed a big sobriety movement starting up, esp. in relation to Mummy wine culture/mummy needs wine which seems to be so prevalent. That middle class drinking in playgrounds etc that in some places would be seen as something only homeless alcoholics do.

But then i spent a lot of my younger years drinking far too much so I think I am a bit like an ex-smoker in that respect, far more repelled than someone who always had a healthy attitude to alcohol. I more or less gave up due to the pandemic as I was only really a social drinker and didn't drink at home, and now I can't bear to be hungover and love tea.

I’m teetotal. Have been for about 5-6 years bow

the looks I get from people when I say don’t drink.

I can’t escape it either. All raffle prizes, prizes at work at Christmas etc all contained alcohol.

This, exactly.

One of life's pleasures is sitting in a nice wine bar passing away the hours with friends. Equally I'm happy to meet for a coffee or walk.

I agree with you about the sort of behaviour seen in some of our city centres on a weekend: people paralytic, fighting drunk, pissing and puking on the pavements etc. It's one of the reasons I won't go to Brighton on a weekend evening.

But generally, I think it's only a problem for those who can't handle it and don't know when to stop.

I love a drink, so do most of my friends. But yesterday, after a nice walk across part of the downs and along a beach, my friend and I both opted for a coffee rather than a beer or wine. I'll meet friends for lunch, sometimes we'll have 2 or 3 pints, sometimes we won't. But we never get trolleyed, we never need help to get in a taxi, and we behave ourselves.

People need to learn to manage their drinking, and those that can't learn need to stop!

Your friendship circle may be partly to blame. I’m a similar age to you, and don’t drink, it’s a lot more normalised now.

I only had hassle from one person about not being a drinker, someone I briefly dated, and he turned out to be a functioning alcoholic! My lack of drinking really shone a light on his problematic drinking - which I guess he didn’t like.

In recent years I can’t even recall being asked why I wasn’t drinking! Definitely a culture change in progress amongst the younger generations.

I have a lot of friends and they are pretty much all big drinkers, yet I have never once heard anyone question someone who wasn't drinking. OK maybe a quick question if the person would normally have a drink, but certainly none of this belligerence everyone else seems to have experienced?

I drink wine and beer in moderation and when I used to get fed up I´d order a tonic and say it was a gin & tonic. Looked alcoholic so no one questioned it. But I live in Spain. I had some friends from Northern England who couldn´t conceive a night out without getting plastered, even the women. They are now in their early 40s so I hope they brought that under control. But I think it is the culture there, binge drinking in a short space of time, with happy hour and all that. Haven´t been to England in 10 years so this may be changing like some PP is saying.

I agree op. We do drink too much here. Binge drinking is totally normalised.

I’m glad to see some other commenters have said younger people are less keen these days. That would be good.

Totally agree. Why I like living abroad so much.