To hate the drinking culture in the UK?

[newjerseyp]

I despair of the drinking culture in the UK. Everything revolves around alcohol. I go to a dinner party - alcohol first, food plus alcohol, dessert plus alcohol, then more alcohol to finish. Sunny day? Let's go to a beer garden! Catch up with friends? Let's meet for a drink (usually alcohol). BBQs I see more people drinking alcohol than actually eating. Alcohol is used to celebrate (birthdays, graduations etc) and commiserate (funerals). It's very hard to avoid. Every occasion I go to I instantly get asked, 'are you having a drink?'

Yesterday (Sunday) about 75 percent of my friends were hungover. I was trying to make plans to go out a walk and most of the replies were 'had too much to drink last night'. Of course you could go to these things and just not drink but then you have to explain yourself and the temptation is there and it's also boring being surrounded by tipsy/drunk people when sober.

Alcohol is second to cigarettes as the biggest killer, even before illegal drugs yet it is so normalised and glamourised in society and there doesn't seem to be much incentive outlined by the government to change this.

AIBU to just hate it?

Hmm, I agree that the focus on booze isn't great but it's not like you have to drink to be involved. I'm teetotal but I still enjoy beer gardens and BBQs with friends and family, and I must admit I haven't experienced any pressure to join in the drinking since my teen years. People very occasionally ask me why I don't drink but not I a pushy way, and I've never had anyone question me further after I've answered.

I do agree that very drunk people are tedious conversation partners, but the only thing I really don't like is when people start getting "messy" (vomiting, falling over, etc.)

I'm the same age as you but haven't felt pressure to drunk since uni tbh. Perhaps you need some nicer friends? There's always going to be occasions where people drink, it doesn't mean to say you have to drink at all of these events.

Me too!

Im the same age as you but a lot of my friends don’t drink, and those that do drink occasionally. My younger siblings and cousins very rarely drink. I think the culture is changing quickly compared to our parents.

It's not up to your friends to arrange their Saturday leisure activities around you wanting to go for a walk on a Sunday. They don't have to be available on demand, on the off-chance that you want to do something.

That's quite a thoughtless comment isn't it? I, like many people, depend on my friends for social interaction, due to being single and child free. Not everyone is busy and occupied with family at weekends. The OP is allowed to feel frustrated if people won't do stuff simply because they're hungover

I started drinking at 15, by the time I was 30 I was absolutely fed up, completely bored by alcohol and the social events around it. I stopped drinking the way I was drinking. I was so jaded and bored by it all. I found there was almost nothing else to do initially! I eventually found plenty but it took a while. I can’t imagine going to a pub just to consume litres of alcohol as the objective. Seems insane.

I can’t bear hangovers either anymore. I like “a drink” with / alongside / secondary to something else, but as a primary reason to go out, nope.

the resistance to my chance was huge. People didn’t like me stepping out of it. I bought my own horse, got really into competitions across the country and almost had an excuse “can’t go out, I’m at the yard at 6am tomorrow”.

I also found the guys I was meeting in pubs to be uninteresting (and started to think they all looked saggy, beer belly imminent), they had nothing really interesting to do other than be good craic in the pub (which I had loved, but it lost its gloss).

once I’d really back out of it, this sounds mean but I looking in on my circle of friends they are overweight, unhealthy, not ageing well. It takes its toll on you.

i was a very shy person and stopping boozing gave me my voice. Had to brave it out and I think the confidence I side stepped developing as a teenager came to me later.

I thought people were drinking less.

Where DH comes from used to be a heavy drinking area - it's much less so now fewer pubs when IlL and friends go out they drink much less.

DH thinks his University students drink much less - our kids aren't really interested yet in drinking.

At events like BBQ I'm no longer the only person not drinking and they'll be a variety of options for soft drinks. Even going to pub or meal out it's much more normal to have a non alcholic drink than it was 20 years ago.

Did me expressing my opinion come across as me being in a huff? You sound quite defensive.

I didn't say I expected my friends to be available on demand 🤣 don't be ridiculous, of course I don't. They all have families etc. I just noticed that of the ones I asked, quite a few said they were too hungover to do anything other than stay at home.

We were at a party at the weekend and there was a number of people not drinking who drove there and home again and cited health reasons and everyone just said ‘ok cool’ and got on with their night there was no pressure on people to drink

I do think things have shifted in my circle and Myself and my friends are aged 28-34 really

very few of my friends are up for massive binges now however I fall into a little alcohol often category which is just as bad I think- a glass on a Wednesday and a g&t on a Thursday another one on a Friday so even though I’m not hungover or loose my abilities etc is that just as bad for my Heath- probably

I agree OP.
But I think it was worse 10 years ago. Hopefully it's changing, and the normalisation of problematic drinking is starting to change.

I love drinking socially now and then. It’s fun. I have never been aggressive when drunk-that’s the side of drinking I dislike and am pissed off with people who turn into arseholes after a drink. They ruin it.

So don't drink then
I was out for a meal out with some friends a few weeks ago then town centre isn't anything like it was 20!years ago even 10 years ago it was empty and this was a Saturday evening,if people want to drink when they get together at bar bcues etc so what ,how exactly does it affect you?
Life has been miserable enough for the past couple of years,some people enjoy a drink when they are socialising ,if you don't fine ,but don't judge others .

If I had a confirmed event with a friend eg Sunday walk I would drag my self out of bed if I needed to. It's very rare that I could up sticks on a sunday without agreeing it beforehand due to kids activities, DH cycles every Sunday etc etc.

That said I do think the drinking culture is significantly changing in the UK, but I still love a few glasses of wine in the pub garden or at a bbq. A cuple of my friends have totally stopped drinking for various reasons, they still come out and have a good time. What they chose to drink or not drink is none of my business.

I'm not from the UK and I don't really drink. I may have a glass of wine or two with dinner every couple months, but that's basically it. All of my friends here, including my husband and his family, drink way more than me. I do sometimes find it tiresome because I don't see the need and always wind up having to either be the taxi service or the babysitter of people who had one too many.

Yes, I could just not go to functions with my friends, but that very much leaves me on my own as I don't know anybody else who doesn't drink! It's much more common to limit intake where I'm from - it's one of the many reasons I want to move back to my home country.

It can be very prevalent in particular groups even if overall consumption is down.
I think there will be a further move away, if only becausse as others above have pointed out the carcinogenic effects are becoming more widely known.
I'd jump ship op to a new grouping of friends. Focus on the low to no drinkers.

There is a proportion of people who see moderation or not drinking almost as an insult to them (unless you mutter the magic words of "driving") Most people have moved beyond that fortunately. Alcohol free options are much easily available too. (Although I'm yet to work out the purpose of alcohol free spirits...)

We lived in Germany for a while. Berr and Wine were even easier to get hold off there. But just having one small beer or glass of wine was considered fine and normal too. (A small of wine being 125ml, not half a bottle!). We went to a Fire Station open day for example, enjoyed a drink in the bar while the children learnt CPR (ambulances being part of the fire service). No one was drunk, it was just one drink. In fact the only time I saw excessive drinking was Oktoberfest.

YANBU. Although like a few people have said, I've found it's certainly less common than it was when I was younger and my entire social life revolved around pub, club, booze and cigs.

I think it depends on your friendship group too. I have friends who love a drink, and friends like me who have more or less given up drinking. There seem to be more and more moderate or non drinkers out there, so don't dispair. And if you don't want to drink at gatherings, don't. Ignore anyone who says "oh, go on." They're normally the ones with an alcohol problem, trying to normalise their behaviour. I know it's easier said than done, but perhaps make friends with some people who share your approach to drinking and want to do healthier activities with you?

Or wait it out for a few years. They might have a realisation in their late 30s (like I did) that booze makes them feel old and haggard and look like cr@p, so decide to cut down on their drinking and take up exercise instead 😄

When I read the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about the aspects of the drinking culture that I find the worst, and the most concerning.
These are:
Large groups of drunk people, in pubs, clubs or the streets.
The unpredictability of people, especially in crowds, when their inhibitions are removed by alcohol, is frightening. Aggression and violence are so close to the surface. Brits have a horrible reputation for this abroad, but some city and town centres are practically no go areas some nights.
Also, the amount of people who binge drink to the point of stupor or alcoholic poisoning, with the physical damage it causes to the brain, liver and other organs.

I read somewhere recently that younger people are less involved in this kind of drinking, rather it is the middle aged and older, and I see that other posters have confirmed this, so that is hopeful that the culture might change.
For the record, when I was young, I preferred cannabis, much more mellow, but nowadays I like a glass of Malbec.

I agree with you OP it is so normalised as you can see from many of the defensive posts here.

YANBU

I agree with you. I work with international teams and it's embarrassing when the company plans nights out that are so alcohol orientated and they want to eat. I would love to live in a tapas culture where the eating is always alongside a glass of wine.

I actually don't drink anymore due to medication and I always worry people are going to think I'm boring now. That says it all really.

Why are the people saying they like a drink being defensive?

If you don't want to drink don't drink but many people do enjoy it. If you don't want to attend a BBQ where people are drinking, don't go.

Saying that I can quite easily go for a long walk the day after having a drink. Maybe they just don't want to.

@BrightOrangeOrange your post in itself is defensive 🤣

I have started bringing non alcoholic versions of drinks to social get togethers / ordering non alcoholic versions in pubs etc. They taste and look pretty much identical. There is no real issue with me apart from not wanting to drink too much alcohol which is very easy to do when the get together stretches over a few hours. No one really questions it, I still do drink alcohol but very much in moderation and I will provide plenty of non alcoholic drinks at a party etc. There is no argument- I don't go overboard on being judgmental just explain I personally don't want to overdo it and regret it later. I think that way there is less to argue with.