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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think relationships cannot last without sex

138 replies

Lockeddownagain · 23/04/2022 10:15

I was reading an article that said some relationships work without sex.
I'm so interested in peoples views on this.
So voting is yes it can
No it's can't

OP posts:
SueSaid · 25/04/2022 09:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Ozzie who has had flings in the past. Not a great advert for a sexless marriage tbh. Given half the chance I bet he'd be at it again.

Blossomtoes · 25/04/2022 09:54

SueSaid · 25/04/2022 09:41

Ozzie who has had flings in the past. Not a great advert for a sexless marriage tbh. Given half the chance I bet he'd be at it again.

Show quote history

He’d need more than a chance, he doesn’t seem to be capable. He’s quite ill, which is apparently why they no longer have sex.

Crazykatie · 25/04/2022 10:13

Shoxfordian · 25/04/2022 06:27

Relationships can work without sex but not without intimacy and communication flowing between you both all the time.

That is exactly right, it happened to me husband lost interest, no cuddles or communication, I could cope with no sex, I was 50 and just assumed my sex life was over. No intimacy I could not handle and left, met OH quite quickly, sex and intimacy returned very quickly, it is soooo much better.

LindaEllen · 25/04/2022 10:43

There's no hard and fast (sorry) rule about how much sex there has to be in a relationship - the only thing that matters is that both partners are happy with how much there is.

It can put a strain on things when one person wants more than the other.

StarlightLady · 25/04/2022 11:28

I would not want a relationship without sex. But it's down to individuals.

GWMENA · 25/04/2022 13:37

Sex is a must in any relationship to maintain that connection.

Bagelsandbrie · 25/04/2022 14:11

GWMENA · 25/04/2022 13:37

Sex is a must in any relationship to maintain that connection.

Well clearly not for many, many people….

samsera · 25/04/2022 14:40

RiverSkater · 24/04/2022 12:10

I'm in a sexless relationship. I don't love DP. I'd like to leave, life too short, I know it. Practically, we live in a very expensive area (it wasn't 20 years ago!) and I'd have to uproot kids from school to afford anywhere else ( DD suffers from anxiety) and for what? To possibly meet a man (I never had them lining up frankly) to possibly have some good sex ?

So here I am. I know I'm not alone. DP is happy with family life. I think the sex was just to achieve that for him.

If you don't love your DP then that's more of a pressing reason to leave than lack of sex, that nobody could blame you for. They couldn't anyway, IMO, but I hope you get my point.

samsera · 25/04/2022 14:40

RiverSkater · 24/04/2022 12:10

I'm in a sexless relationship. I don't love DP. I'd like to leave, life too short, I know it. Practically, we live in a very expensive area (it wasn't 20 years ago!) and I'd have to uproot kids from school to afford anywhere else ( DD suffers from anxiety) and for what? To possibly meet a man (I never had them lining up frankly) to possibly have some good sex ?

So here I am. I know I'm not alone. DP is happy with family life. I think the sex was just to achieve that for him.

If you don't love your DP then that's more of a pressing reason to leave than lack of sex, that nobody could blame you for. They couldn't anyway, IMO, but I hope you get my point.

samsera · 25/04/2022 14:41

RiverSkater · 24/04/2022 12:10

I'm in a sexless relationship. I don't love DP. I'd like to leave, life too short, I know it. Practically, we live in a very expensive area (it wasn't 20 years ago!) and I'd have to uproot kids from school to afford anywhere else ( DD suffers from anxiety) and for what? To possibly meet a man (I never had them lining up frankly) to possibly have some good sex ?

So here I am. I know I'm not alone. DP is happy with family life. I think the sex was just to achieve that for him.

If you don't love your DP then that's more of a pressing reason to leave than lack of sex, that nobody could blame you for. They couldn't anyway, IMO, but I hope you get my point.

samsera · 25/04/2022 14:43

I don't know why that's posted three times. I blame the update ☺️

dumdumduuuummmmm · 25/04/2022 15:34

GWMENA · 25/04/2022 13:37

Sex is a must in any relationship to maintain that connection.

I'm very pro physical contact in a relationship but even I know your blanket statement is not correct. We all have different levels of libido and sexual appetite. Some people are even asexual and have no desire for sex at all. Are you suggesting these people can not have a meaningful relationship? I need the physical side. My DH is almost j functioning without regular intimacy. But even I know that we are all on a spectrum and it's not for me to dictate what's right or wrong. Some people enjoy a soft closeness of snuggles and hand holding. Some just need to be with someone who understands them and accepts them.

TimBoothseyes · 25/04/2022 16:02

GWMENA · 25/04/2022 13:37

Sex is a must in any relationship to maintain that connection.

Sorry but that's just not true.

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