To think relationships cannot last without sex

[Lockeddownagain]

I was reading an article that said some relationships work without sex.
I'm so interested in peoples views on this.
So voting is yes it can
No it's can't

Unless both people are asexual, then generally they won’t work.

If one person wants sex and the other doesn’t then the situation will tick along until the person wanting sex will find someone who does desire them. At which point the marriage falls apart.

If course it can. Sometimes people develop illnesses or conditions that mean sex is impossible or very painful, yet they stay together. Sex isn't the be all and end all of intimacy.

I am asexual and hate sex so a relationship in which it was involved wouldn’t work for me, but I feel like if I found a partner who was equally uninterested in anything sex-related I would enjoy the other aspects of a romantic relationship.

There’s no rule. It works for some, not for others. Think my ex would have been happy to live in a no sex relationship. But having a sexless marriage was one of many reasons why I divorced him.

I think relationships can last without sex if both partners accept it. If one partner wants sex and the other doesn’t it can slowly poison the relationship with resentment. Feeling harassed or guilted into sex or feeling rejected does more damage than the lack of sex.

Of course they can.

Its where a sexually intimate relationship is important to one person but not the other that problems arise.

I don’t think it is possible to tell really. Peoples inner worlds are unique ad no one has the ability to see into another’s so while on the surface a relationship may appear to work underneath who knows.

Same having a severly autistic child,who either doesn't sleep or won't sleep alone makes intimacy difficult.

Many of my post menopausal mates have good marriages and no sex .

Nah... we went ages without sex at different times for various reasons (difficult pregnancy, health issues)

never really made a difference to our relationship: both still happy and in love.

basing a relationship on good sex can be recipe for disaster for some people (I wouldn’t want a man who was great in the bedroom but didn’t pull his weight with housework and childcare)

as long as both people are happy with the situation

Think about all the marriages where something has happened which may well stop sex from being a possibility - certain medications, menopause (for some people), spinal injury's, pelvic cancer treatment, neurological disorders, car accidents, loss of sensation, mental illness - do every single one of these marriage end in divorce then?

Totally agree with only the young / healthy people think this comment above. And I'd add in ignorant as well.

Nonsense. Most of my friends who have 20+ year marriages have varying degrees of sexual activity, from none to the same as always, to dwindling.

I think as long as both parties are happy, then it's not an issue at all.

Maybe it would be different in relationships of around 5 years or so, but when you've been with someone for 20/30 years and have built a life together based on love, respect and care, maybe the sex isn't an important aspect as it would to a couple who hadn't been together so long.

If one person wants sex and the other doesn’t then the situation will tick along until the person wanting sex will find someone who does desire them. At which point the marriage falls apart.

DH ability was affected a few years ago. Both of us still want sex. The idea that 'finding someone who desires me' would make me give up and leave him is repulsive.

Of course relationships of real value can work without sex. Long term relationships are based on much more than that.

There are couples who are happy being asexual and having a celibate relationship and thats their choice.

The problems arrive when the sexual desire is mismatched and one wants it and the other isnt keen. Thats when the partner who wants it feels constantly rejected by the other and their self esteem plummets and the one who doesnt want it feels constantly pestered and harassed.

Thats why sex therapists say that when the sex is great, it represents 20% of a relationship but when there are sexual problems, its 80% of the relationship and I think thats true.

For me personally, I couldnt be in a celibate relationship- I have a high sex drive and having sex is a huge part of intimacy and feeling close to my partner so if I couldnt have it, I would fear I'd end up having an affair which I never want to do.

Agree with a pp people can stay in a sexless relationship until they meet someone they are attracted to, then they will have an affair given the opportunity. Either that or they will be masturbating whilst their dp is oblivious having gone to bed early.

Intimacy is a really important part of a healthy relationship. People telling themselves otherwise are kidding themselves, it is head in the sand mentality. Barring ill health or other serious issues obviously.

Since having my first DD in 2020 and now pregnant with my second my DH and I haven’t had much sex, maybe once a month! We are still very happy and love each other so much. Sex isn’t everything.

Maybe maybe not, it depends on the individual, we have a lot of threads complaining husband doesn’t want sex and women saying they don’t want sex. I guess couples have platonic relationships especially as they get older, they don’t talk about it, so only they know.

Agree with a pp people can stay in a sexless relationship until they meet someone they are attracted to, then they will have an affair given the opportunity.

I'm in a sexless marriage. I'm attracted to my DH. God some people are so shallow. Our marriage is a lot deeper than finding someone attractive and having an affair.

Either that or they will be masturbating whilst their dp is oblivious having gone to bed early.

Masturbation is a totally normal thing to do!

Intimacy is a really important part of a healthy relationship. People telling themselves otherwise are kidding themselves, it is head in the sand mentality. Barring ill health or other serious issues obviously

Why are you saying this when numerous people have just told you the opposite? There are many long marriages which have become sexless and both parties are entirely happy with it.

A relationship without sex is doomed. Anyone who believes otherwise is extremely naive.

(unless both are asexual, but if one or other has sexual needs, it's game over for the relationship).

It amazes me how many people think that because a sexless relationship wouldn't work for them that it couldn't possibly work for anyone else and that those people must be really unhappy and constantly looking elsewhere.

It depends on the relationship. If both partners are on the same page it can work. If one wants sex and one doesn't, that is where problems arise. Also it depends on the reasons why. As men get older they may be less virile, people get ill and things happen that can prevent sex and or doesn't necessarily mean things are over. If one just loses interest for unknown reasons, it would be a problem.