To not feel sorry for Amber Heard even in light of evidence

[Wheresmywoolyjumpers]

I always loved Johnny Depp. Was really wanting to take his side, but the evidence being presented is making that impossible for me. But as much as I want to support women, I cannot warm to Amber Heard. is it patriarchal brainwashing? Is it that they both seem spoiled and behaving badly? Or something else?

Well said @Kanaloa

The SM comments really surprised me, so many people saying 'there's no evidence he abused her!' When there is MOUNTAINS of it! Video and audio footage, admissions coming from his own mouth!

Obviously they both contributed to their troubled relationship but two things really get to me about him. Firstly, the fact that he continues to harass her through the courts. And secondly the monologues he delivered in court, I mean he was asked a direct question and went off on a rambling story about his history of being friends with Elton John and got annoyed when he was interrupted. He seems incredibly narcissistic- but then who wouldn't be, he's been fawned over for so long. Even the court laughs at his jokes which seems really inappropriate to me.

I am no johnny Depp fan but I'm sorry Amber is absolutely toxic and I do not believe she is an innocent victim in all this. The constant filming and recording is clearly a set up for whatever motive she has. She is often heard gas lighting him and trying to push for a reaction. Yes he reacts and shouldn't do but she knows exactly what she is doing. She does not strike me as someone who is scared of him and in an abusive relationship. There's just something not right at all.

I agree there is evidence that he abused her, just as there is evidence she abused him. The texts from his assistant calling him a lost little boy, for example. He’s not a boy, he’s a grown man and father of two.

I think this trial will not go the way JD expects and his career will crash and burn, and he will only have himself to blame for it. If he had just kept his head down for a few years and come back with some amazing acting projects, it would all have been forgotten. His hubris will be his downfall.

Firstly, the fact that he continues to harass her through the courts. And secondly the monologues he delivered in court, I mean he was asked a direct question and went off on a rambling story about his history of being friends with Elton John and got annoyed when he was interrupted. He seems incredibly narcissistic- but then who wouldn't be, he's been fawned over for so long. Even the court laughs at his jokes which seems really inappropriate to me.

To be fair he has had to wait 6 years to put his side of the story and to provide his evidence in full.

There has been audio evidence that she has hit him, gaslighted him and demeaned him. She is not a good advocate for speaking out on domestic violence.

This was the quote both from the Sun and Women's aid just after JD lost his U.K. trial:

A spokesperson for the Sun said: "Domestic abuse victims must never be silenced and we thank the judge for his careful consideration and thank Amber Heard for her courage in giving evidence to the court."

Charity Women's Aid said everyone who experiences domestic abuse "deserves to be listened to and believed".
"This also applies to survivors who do not fit the image of the 'perfect' victim - and regardless of the high profile of the alleged abuser. There is no excuse for domestic abuse."

Men who claim they have been victims of domestic violence need to be listened to as well.

I just don’t get it - well I do, it the same with Meghan M - some bloke everyone fancies turns weird and the woman is blamed. Basically, if he’d picked meeeee, I would have saved him.

None of the court cases are about him as a victim of abuse however.

They are about silencing or undermining her right to acknowledge herself as a victim of abuse. Or silencing others referring to him as an abuser.

Basically, if he’d picked meeeee, I would have saved him.

yes, this is the key insight

The fan girls don't feel they have to engage with 'what if I was the burnt out corpse he wants to fuck' because they feel with certainty 'he would be different with them.'

All Amber's fault basically. She should just have managed the violent, narcissistic addict with no impulse control better.

I definitely don't fancy Johnny Depp. But i can't understand what no ones talking about the abuse against men. Yes she may have been abused but so may have he by the evidence.

But i can't understand what no ones talking about the abuse against men.

Its not that it's not a worthy topic, but the court case isn't about that.

Its about whether Heard is defaming Depp when she referred to herself as a victim of domestic abuse.

None of the court cases are about him as a victim of abuse however.

They are about silencing or undermining her right to acknowledge herself as a victim of abuse. Or silencing others referring to him as an abuser.

He is entitled to do that too.
He is using this court case to be able to put his evidence across that he believes he is also the victim of abuse and that certain aspects of what she is claiming are untrue.

There is a reason that AH tried three times in two years to get this case thrown out as unnecessary and U.K. trial outcome on its own should be sufficient and that is probably because if a US trial went ahead, as I mentioned up thread, she would have to provide full disclosure which was not a requirement in the U.K. trial.

That doesn't excuse her being abusive though, from the evidence given its not like it was all reactionary to his behaviour. That said I agree his texts and other behaviour are deplorable. It can be true that both are abusive and together make an absolutely toxic combination that bring the worst out of each other. I suspect misogyny is a big part though, people are so used to men speaking like that about women that it barely registers to some, whereas an abusive woman is more shocking.

He is using this court case to be able to put his evidence across that he believes he is also the victim of abuse and that certain aspects of what she is claiming are untrue.

But that's not what the law is for. If he wants to do that, he needs to file another case.

This case is solely about whether Heard is justified in calling herself a victim of abuse. What he's doing is trying to silence her.

That doesn't excuse her being abusive though

Whoops fail.

of course it doesn't excuse her, I never said it did. They both need to take responsibilities for their actions.

Just to add, I'm not a fan girl (although he did make some good films early on) but I'm prepared to hear him out.

but I'm prepared to hear him out.

You should read the U.K. judgement. Grim.

and his texts. I presume you have read those. Deprived.

Depraved.

sorry I can't work this today!

Exactly this - he isn’t bringing a case against her for abuse. He’s trying to clear his name. Through a little poor me I’m so cute and charming act from what I can see so far.

Same I'm not a fan of JD at all.
I certainly appreciate some of his roles.

It's an interesting dynamic, I wonder truthfully what being in a relationship does actually mean to him. I suspect due to his life filming it does mean really, part timer relationship, doing what he wants most of the time, then checking onto his relationship,on his terms, lots of mate's time... sitting morose... drugs...some fun
...away again... family again.

I can't imagine it was anything like what most of us would be used too eg day to day living.

@PaperTyger

Amber is also an actor and her sister lived (rent free) in one of Johnny's penthouse suites for most of the time Amber was with Johnny. I think they also had separate bedrooms given some of the trial notes that refer to Amber's bed or Johnny's bed. I think they both lived a great deal of their own lives (probably a good thing given how volatile they were when together).

I also saw that the makeup company that made the palette that Amber said she used throughout her relationship with Johnny to cover her bruises as it had a mix of colours that she could alter for all the different days / colours has released a statement that the make-up palette she referred to wasn't released until after the end of the relationship.

I don't believe most of what she says. I do think they were both physical with each other at various times.

I'm really glad some of you aren't on this jury.

So if it turns out they are both victims and as bad as each other then is it OK for one party to keep their career and the other one doesn't? Only one party is allowed to speak up about domestic violence and the other is silenced?

She tried to get the court case thrown out, she didn't want to provide full disclosure, she didn't want people to know she didn't give to Charity as she said she would and she is on tape as saying ......'no one will believe you Johnny'.

Is he silencing her or is she trying to silence him?

She said what she said and he's suing her for it. Nothing stopped him from speaking 'his truth'

I'm really glad some of you aren't on this jury.

Who are you talking about here, posters like me or posters who are saying things like 'oh, but she doesn't look like a victim' and she wore a tie one time?

So if it turns out they are both victims and as bad as each other then is it OK for one party to keep their career and the other one doesn't? Only one party is allowed to speak up about domestic violence and the other is silenced?

There's absolutely nothing stopping Depp from writing the kind of Op Ed that Amner wrote. No one is trying to silence him actually.

As for careers, that's far beyond the court case and up to studio executives. They aren't under any obligation to hire anyone for anything, so the idea that an individual is entitled to parts is flawed to begin with. Careers wither and die for all kinds of reasons.

‘So if it turns out they are both victims and as bad as each other then is it OK for one party to keep their career and the other one doesn't? Only one party is allowed to speak up about domestic violence and the other is silenced?’

but the case is him suing her for implying he abused her. Not him accusing her of DA or accusing, what, some unnamed force not letting him accuse her? So I’m sort of glad you’re not on the jury 😂