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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP buying weed when he owes me money

123 replies

fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:37

I am so pissed off I am shaking while typing this.

DP and I don't live together and have separate finances. He has had to pay out unexpectedly recently so has been strapped for cash.

He doesn't owe me a lot, less than £50. I had a thriving business but recently my earnings have gone to £0. Last month I spent £1000 in a shopping centre on various things, before I knew business would come to a grinding halt.

I have had bills flying out and extra costs. I too, am now strapped for cash. I did a small food shop for DS and I today and DP came with me, I only did a much smaller shop than usual and told DP it was because I am struggling and can't spent too much. He fancied sausage casserole tonight so I bought the ingredients for that.

I also bought us both a McDonald's.

DP then asked me to send him £3 so he could spend his last £27 on weed.

He is off for the week and said he is off so should be able to relax and do what he enjoys. He thinks it's "crazy" that I'm pissed off he is spending his last money on weed when he knows I am struggling and he owes me money.

He doesn't believe he is wrong as I spent that money in the shopping centre and that I didn't have to get him a McDonalds.

I am livid. He stormed off during the argument as I was being disrespectful.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Moochio · 19/04/2022 19:39

Leave him

Last month I spent £1000 in a shopping centre on various things, before I knew business would come to a grinding halt. Sell some of this stuff/return it if unused.

Original poster
fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:41

I should add, he stormed off because he thought I was being disrespectful. I don't think I was.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 19/04/2022 19:42

What kind of business literally fails overnight with no warning?

Regardless, he’s not a partner by any stretch of the imagination. Why you are still with him is beyond me.

Imagine a grown man borrowing £3 for weed for his week off. It’s bloody ridiculous.

lemongreentea · 19/04/2022 19:43

You can do better than him. Get rid.

Original poster
fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:43

@Merryoldgoat

What kind of business literally fails overnight with no warning?

Regardless, he’s not a partner by any stretch of the imagination. Why you are still with him is beyond me.

Imagine a grown man borrowing £3 for weed for his week off. It’s bloody ridiculous.

It's very niche and I'm not going to put it on here as it's outing.
OP posts:
sweepeep · 19/04/2022 19:45

Both of you need to get better with money! Why are you spending 1k in one day when you have no savings? Why are you buying McDonald's when you are broke? But yeah...get rid of him.

Unsureaboutit9 · 19/04/2022 19:45

If you are going to be in a relationship with someone who does drugs you need to realise you always come second. Good opportunity to break off the relationship and find someone that deserves you.

JustaMirage · 19/04/2022 19:45

Did you give him the £3?

TweetTweetMF · 19/04/2022 19:47

Why you blowing 1k in one go without any savings? Especially with an unpredictable income.

And if your that strapped for cash why are you wasting it on a McDonald's?

Your both as bad as each otherS

Merryoldgoat · 19/04/2022 19:47

It's very niche

Of course. They always are.

TweetTweetMF · 19/04/2022 19:47

@Merryoldgoat

It's very niche

Of course. They always are.

My bets MLM. Grin
ilovesooty · 19/04/2022 19:48

Can't see what his use is. Hardly a partner is he?

Original poster
fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:48

I did have money in saving and I've had to spend it. It's been a horrendous few weeks.

I bought the McDonald's because I've been working all day and then got called out (to do with the business) and had to go straight to do a 70 mile round trip. Wouldn't have had time to cook.

OP posts:
Original poster
fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:49

My bets MLM

It's not. A genuine business that was making me money I could only have dreamt of. It's all gone to shit.

OP posts:
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 19/04/2022 19:49

So, weed buyer (Spends his last pennies on weed, what a pleb) and spending a grand and then a maccdees.
You both sound financially inept tbh.

LIZS · 19/04/2022 19:49

Take back some of your shopping,
Dump the spoilt brat who values a high over essentials,
Apply for salaried work and keep your "niche" business as a hobby if the fad has not passed already,

sweepeep · 19/04/2022 19:49

@fendisna you would still have an extra 1k though if you hadn't spent it all! Confused

Original poster
fendisna · 19/04/2022 19:50

[quote sweepeep]@fendisna you would still have an extra 1k though if you hadn't spent it all! Confused[/quote]
I know. And I regret spending it, I'm not excusing it.

My point is, I just don't think spending my money is relevant to him spending money on drugs when he owes me.

OP posts:
TweetTweetMF · 19/04/2022 19:51

Why are you dating someone who does drugs anyway? I don't see the appeal?

Suprima · 19/04/2022 19:51

@fendisna

I am so pissed off I am shaking while typing this.

DP and I don't live together and have separate finances. He has had to pay out unexpectedly recently so has been strapped for cash.

He doesn't owe me a lot, less than £50. I had a thriving business but recently my earnings have gone to £0. Last month I spent £1000 in a shopping centre on various things, before I knew business would come to a grinding halt.

I have had bills flying out and extra costs. I too, am now strapped for cash. I did a small food shop for DS and I today and DP came with me, I only did a much smaller shop than usual and told DP it was because I am struggling and can't spent too much. He fancied sausage casserole tonight so I bought the ingredients for that.

I also bought us both a McDonald's.

DP then asked me to send him £3 so he could spend his last £27 on weed.

He is off for the week and said he is off so should be able to relax and do what he enjoys. He thinks it's "crazy" that I'm pissed off he is spending his last money on weed when he knows I am struggling and he owes me money.

He doesn't believe he is wrong as I spent that money in the shopping centre and that I didn't have to get him a McDonalds.

I am livid. He stormed off during the argument as I was being disrespectful.

AIBU?

He sounds an utterly pathetic specimen

You have sex with this man? You call him your ‘partner’? You lend him money?

Embarrassing really

JustaMirage · 19/04/2022 19:53

What did you spend the £1000 on?

powershowerforanhour · 19/04/2022 19:53

"Your both as bad as each otherS"

Well, he sounds slightly worse so cut your losses, dump him then sort your own shit out. Write off the money he owes you, if you ditch the loser now and don't take him back it'll be money well spent.

Saganaki · 19/04/2022 19:55

The weed will always be more important to him than you. Bin him. He’s a waste of space.

Maydaysoonenough · 19/04/2022 19:56

Surely yabu to expect any decency from a druggie. Why is he around your dc at all?
And mcdonald's isnt much of an essential .

WhackingPhoenix · 19/04/2022 19:57

@fendisna

My bets MLM

It's not. A genuine business that was making me money I could only have dreamt of. It's all gone to shit.

You both spend all your money on McDonalds and weed? Are you both fifteen? Where has all that ‘money you could only have dreamt of’ gone if you now have no money overnight?

He sounds like a lazy dosser and you don’t sound overly bright either if you’ll blow £1k without a buffer Confused perhaps it’s time for you both to step into the real world...

Sad that there is a child involved in this.