He saved me as a guys name 🧐

[Trippingslippingx1]

So I had a first date on Friday night with guy from Bumble
All went well until end of date and he was showing me something on the messaging app we used to chat on after matching

He had saved my name as ‘Charles’ and not ‘Charlotte’.

I said why did you save my name as that? He said typing mistake. I got a weird gut feeling. He immediately changed my name to the right name.

He asked to meet again this week - some light messaging backwards and forwards but I cannot shake the feeling that he is lying and saved me as a guys name to cover up that he is in a relationship already and monkey branching into the next or cheating (both not great).

AIBU to just call off the next date based on this? Or could it really be innocent.

Report the post and ask to have the name removed. It won't be a problem for MNHQ to do.

@grapewines

Report the post and ask to have the name removed. It won't be a problem for MNHQ to do.

Just did it - Thanks for that 💐

Not a problem and I hope you have better luck with the next date!

Thanks but no thanks mate, what a tosser 🙄

He a cheater and you know it

He has a girlfriend, wife, or both?? RUN!!

Well, he’s still trying his luck based on what your friend says. Are you still going to walk away?

@lazarusb

Well, he’s still trying his luck based on what your friend says. Are you still going to walk away?

Yes I am going to walk away.

Do you know who is the double of? And I could not work it during the date? Joe from that netflix programme You. Like the spitting image double but much shorter.

@Marvellousmadness

He a cheater and you know it

Of course he is. I thank God I seen his phone

Imagine if I did not see his phone - thought he was legit and shagged him or continued the relationship for few weeks. How are woman meant to ‘pick better men’ when there are so many duds like this around - particularly in 30s and 40s. Sometimes I think dating is just not worth the hassle - always having to look over your shoulder to make sure you are not taken the piss out of.

@Trippingslippingx1 it had been a few weeks of flirty messages and we'd met up for a drink but nothing happened, thank fuck! What got set my red flag-o-metre off initially was he didn't text after 7pm, said he always forgot to charge his phone when he got in from work

He also said he had no social media and as I don't use Facebook it didn't flag up as weird for me, but after the screenshot thing I asked someone to search him up on fb and he did actually have one and was listed as in a relationship. Blocked his phone number straight away. That was that. Douche bag.

[quote VampireMoney]@Trippingslippingx1 it had been a few weeks of flirty messages and we'd met up for a drink but nothing happened, thank fuck! What got set my red flag-o-metre off initially was he didn't text after 7pm, said he always forgot to charge his phone when he got in from work

He also said he had no social media and as I don't use Facebook it didn't flag up as weird for me, but after the screenshot thing I asked someone to search him up on fb and he did actually have one and was listed as in a relationship. Blocked his phone number straight away. That was that. Douche bag. [/quote]
Thank God you found out doll - good save. I dont think the majority of them can keep it up thankfully and drop hints like this

Another great hint is being evasive about where they stay - never being invited to their flat

Fuck him off and run for the hills.

Ah...well at least he wasn't as weird as that character 😂

You should break up with your partner, then you don't need to have an affair and hurt people.

HeDidWhattt

^ think you've got your user name the wrong way round there then.

I use Signal. My boyfriend came up with his nickname when I set my new phone up and hadn't migrated my contacts. In my old phone I had saved his number in contacts before finding him on Signal, so unless he downloaded the app just to message you, he would have your name shown as you show it if that makes sense.

What is this PP mention of a cheater's dating website/app? Is it something we can look out for in case partner has it/accessed it?

This is a very weird point of view, no sensible person would fully trust anyone after only one date. But unless you're going to rely on only having relationships with people you already know you have to go on dates to meet people, get to know them and gradually build trust.

Not trusting a person after one date does not mean the whole relationship is a write off and will never amount to anything, it just means OP is appropriately waiting to get to know someone before she trusts him.

Not to say the OP is wrong in this case, this particular guy has more red flags than a communist parade. But in general not trusting a person after one date is not the death of a relationship.

Maybebabyno2 Theres very little on his social media - I cannot see any strong evidence of a long term partner**

The cheaters just don't put their relationship status on social media anyway. I managed to date one man for 2 years in a long distance relationship who had a girlfriend who turned into a fiance during that time. There was at least one other woman as well. Because I hadn't met him through internet dating but through mutual friends, I thought I was "safe" from that sort of thing. I had to get an STD test at the start of lockdown. There was at least one other woman that I found out about too. I only found out about the fiance when he dumped me, presumably because he was getting married and was moving her in first, so I wouldn't be able to go round to his flat any more.

He's married now and nothing on his social media has changed. I've blocked him but have a friend who updates me and actually told me he had got married. He's keeping it really secret, and if it hadn't been for her letting me know, I would have assumed he was still single. I have no doubt he' still cheating. Small city too, ends in an "n".

These men are manipulative and will say whatever lies they need to in order to get sex. I wouldn't have slept with him even once if I'd known he was seeing other women. Its violating, risky and hugely damaging. Don't take any chances on red flags - looking back, I ignored several because I thought I knew the guy. Err on the side of not giving the benefit of the doubt.

You will be back to Charles on his phone

another tip if they do not call you by your name and use a pet name that they have chosen that has no relevance (no inside joke) or something generic babe etc it will be the same one they use for the other woman/women in their life