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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He saved me as a guys name 🧐

122 replies

Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:29

So I had a first date on Friday night with guy from Bumble
All went well until end of date and he was showing me something on the messaging app we used to chat on after matching

He had saved my name as ‘Charles’ and not ‘Charlotte’.

I said why did you save my name as that? He said typing mistake. I got a weird gut feeling. He immediately changed my name to the right name.

He asked to meet again this week - some light messaging backwards and forwards but I cannot shake the feeling that he is lying and saved me as a guys name to cover up that he is in a relationship already and monkey branching into the next or cheating (both not great).

AIBU to just call off the next date based on this? Or could it really be innocent.

OP posts:
Blossomandbee · 19/04/2022 13:48

Not sure what app you're using but there's no autocorrect when adding a name into my phone, and there usually isn't when typing a name in. Charles isn't exactly a typo for Charlotte either.
Sounds like you've got him sussed though op. I agree I would make him sweat a little before ending it though Wink

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2022 13:54

He's a cheater, cheater, cheater. Run for your life.

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 13:57

I have just checked his social media again and he is a friends (comments and likes) with a guy I went to Uni with so going to check with him what the 411 is…. My city is far too small to get away with this behaviour.

OP posts:
TeatimeGlitter · 19/04/2022 14:04

[quote Trippingslippingx1]@TeatimeGlitter you are a wee gem! Thanks for that 🌹 and whose to say if I met him at gym/bar it would have been any different.

His profile is listed as ‘Don’t know yet’ on Bumble - is that a big Left swipe for you guys?[/quote]
You're welcome lovely

SemperIdem · 19/04/2022 14:07

I have worked with two men who were prolific, habitual cheaters - both saved women’s numbers under men’s names as a matter of course, unless they were very sure they would never sleep with said woman Hmm

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 14:07

I agree with the DKY crowd - I can hardly remember swiping on him.

Anyway I am speaking to a couple of guys who have ‘relationship’ on their toggle bar - so hopefully more luck with those two.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 14:09

@SemperIdem

I have worked with two men who were prolific, habitual cheaters - both saved women’s numbers under men’s names as a matter of course, unless they were very sure they would never sleep with said woman Hmm
God almighty.

Imagine if I never seen his phone and went back to mines and shagged him. Honestly and he had a girlfriend 🫣 I would never have known

OP posts:
bembridge11 · 19/04/2022 14:09

Absolutely he is cheating on his partner
Block

stripeyflowers · 19/04/2022 14:13

It's too obvious to respond to, really. Throw him back, OP.

Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squiller · 19/04/2022 14:24

The only reason this would ever happen is if he were already married or in a relationship, cheating guys pull this stunt all of the time. I dated a guy who was in a relationship once years ago without realising obviously, no sign of a GF on social media at all but he definitely had one. Run for the hills.

Nickwinkle · 19/04/2022 14:25

If it was a typo then he would've corrected it straight away. You can't tell me he didn't notice you were down as 'Charles' given that you'd been messaging...

Definitely he's dating/in a relationship and you're just 'one of his mates' for when his misses asks.

Sorry OP Flowers

BiscuitLover3678 · 19/04/2022 14:26

Whatever the reason he did it, it’s odd. He wrote it that way for a reason. Trust your gut op.

NeverSayNeverAgainMaybe · 19/04/2022 14:37

OK, so no long term partner, but he's shagging around and keeping his options open (for now?)

tbf I was like this when I broke up with my LTR, a 'don't know' on my profile and kissing lots of frogs. All changed when I met DP. I'm not saying this chap is a safe bet, but perhaps it's not quite as black and pernicious as you were thinking. How do you feel about it knowing this?

Jinglebin1 · 19/04/2022 14:52

It's one date. Bin him off now whilst you can. I am ruthless with OLD tbh, the slightest flag and I'm out. If you don't know them through someone else then they can literally tell you anything they want and it often takes far too long to figure out the lies. If I feel something is off then I'm gone.

thelowcarbsweats · 19/04/2022 14:55

Yep, it was either going to be in a long term relationship, or juggling. The fool played himself.

SnozPoz · 19/04/2022 14:57

He's married. Block block block

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 15:13

@NeverSayNeverAgainMaybe

OK, so no long term partner, but he's shagging around and keeping his options open (for now?)

tbf I was like this when I broke up with my LTR, a 'don't know' on my profile and kissing lots of frogs. All changed when I met DP. I'm not saying this chap is a safe bet, but perhaps it's not quite as black and pernicious as you were thinking. How do you feel about it knowing this?

I know - I have been like this before One of my girlfriends is currently in this stage

Bottom line is I am looking for something stable and committed and the chances of getting it from someone like this at the moment is low. I would be better investing in other options I think. Its not as seedy I initally suspected but still very seedy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 15:27

@NeverSayNeverAgainMaybe

OK, so no long term partner, but he's shagging around and keeping his options open (for now?)

tbf I was like this when I broke up with my LTR, a 'don't know' on my profile and kissing lots of frogs. All changed when I met DP. I'm not saying this chap is a safe bet, but perhaps it's not quite as black and pernicious as you were thinking. How do you feel about it knowing this?

I think its not as seedy - but definate thought and deception went into changing my name - so I have the ick and would not feel comfortable with him knowing he is crafty like that
OP posts:
BourbonVanilla · 19/04/2022 15:35

He's probably married.

Maybebabyno2 · 19/04/2022 15:37

Theres very little on his social media - I cannot see any strong evidence of a long term partner

Don't let that fool you, I have nothing personal on my social media, you would think I was a single woman who plays lots of games (which is why I have it at all)
I actually am in a 10 year long relationship, have a 2 year old ds and lots of cats. There is no mention of any of this on FB or Insta.

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 15:41

@Maybebabyno2

Theres very little on his social media - I cannot see any strong evidence of a long term partner

Don't let that fool you, I have nothing personal on my social media, you would think I was a single woman who plays lots of games (which is why I have it at all)
I actually am in a 10 year long relationship, have a 2 year old ds and lots of cats. There is no mention of any of this on FB or Insta.

You are right. I do not think you can tell one way or another with social media.

I know a divorced woman who you would think is still married with how her facebook looks.

OP posts:
grapewines · 19/04/2022 15:42

Such an easy fix. He is hiding you for whatever reason.

grapewines · 19/04/2022 15:45

OP, do you want to get your friend's name deleted? The one who responded.

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 15:50

@grapewines

OP, do you want to get your friend's name deleted? The one who responded.
Yes how do you do that?
OP posts:
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