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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He saved me as a guys name 🧐

122 replies

Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:29

So I had a first date on Friday night with guy from Bumble
All went well until end of date and he was showing me something on the messaging app we used to chat on after matching

He had saved my name as ‘Charles’ and not ‘Charlotte’.

I said why did you save my name as that? He said typing mistake. I got a weird gut feeling. He immediately changed my name to the right name.

He asked to meet again this week - some light messaging backwards and forwards but I cannot shake the feeling that he is lying and saved me as a guys name to cover up that he is in a relationship already and monkey branching into the next or cheating (both not great).

AIBU to just call off the next date based on this? Or could it really be innocent.

OP posts:
Indicatrice · 19/04/2022 12:30

The hills are thataway >>>

TenThousandSpoons · 19/04/2022 12:31

Absolutely he is already in a relationship.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/04/2022 12:32

YANBU to be wary but it could be true that it was an auto correct he just never changed. If I really liked him I wouldn't stop seeing him just for that but I'd definitely have my eyes open

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 19/04/2022 12:33

Can you really be bothered to find out? It was bollocks about being a typo so that's one lie already

Fbsake · 19/04/2022 12:33

Yes. Obviously he’s lying. Why are you questioning this.

Springhassprunggrasshasrizz · 19/04/2022 12:34

Unless he has sausage fingers when typing, needs new glasses, or is dyslexic, he's already got a girlfriend and is planning to cheat with you. Id be asking him a few more Qs ...

SoupDragon · 19/04/2022 12:34

It could be completely innocent.

However, you don't trust him so I don't see the point in continuing.

AHungryCaterpillar · 19/04/2022 12:34

You would be mad to see him again. Can’t believe pp is making excuses for this 😏

MadeForThis · 19/04/2022 12:35

He would have seen the name Charles every time he sent you a message b if it was a typo he would have fixed it.

He's in a relationship.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/04/2022 12:38

@AHungryCaterpillar

You would be mad to see him again. Can’t believe pp is making excuses for this 😏
I have my brothers name in my phone spelled wrong because I couldn't be arsed editing it after a typo when I entered it :p I'm not "making excuses" for anyone, I'm just saying if I really liked the guy I wouldn't stop seeing him for this one thing alone but I would be on the look out for any other signs
MRex · 19/04/2022 12:38

Of course he's lying, no question. Next!

AnyFucker · 19/04/2022 12:39

Dodgy as fuck

Moochio · 19/04/2022 12:39

Trust your gut

NurseButtercup · 19/04/2022 12:41

What is your gut telling you? Never ignore your gut feeling.

Isitsixoclockalready · 19/04/2022 12:41

@SoupDragon

It could be completely innocent.

However, you don't trust him so I don't see the point in continuing.

This is spot on. Whether he is lying or not, if you have your doubts that early then it's pointless to continue.
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:41

I think the messaging app I use your name is already there and you have to manually change it (signal).

Boak. What a sleaze.

If anyone has any tips for screening these guys better let me know 😂 All the guys that use apps seem to be cheaters!

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 19/04/2022 12:42

He's married/has a live in partner. I bet he changed it back to Charles before he went home and he'll make sure you don't accidentally see it again.

Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:43

@NurseButtercup

What is your gut telling you? Never ignore your gut feeling.
Gut instinct is telling me he is trying to monkey branch into a new relationship - rather than being a long term player. I think he moved her for a new job, bought a new place and the soon to be ex is in his home town. So I think he is trying to lay the foundations for a new woman. Thats what I think. I do not think he is married with children.
OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 19/04/2022 12:44

Run.

higherthanthat · 19/04/2022 12:44

Why don't these arseholes just go to the genuine cheaters' 'dating' sites?

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 19/04/2022 12:45

@Trippingslippingx1

I think the messaging app I use your name is already there and you have to manually change it (signal).

Boak. What a sleaze.

If anyone has any tips for screening these guys better let me know 😂 All the guys that use apps seem to be cheaters!

I think you're doing just fine! Keep listening to your gut x
AryaStarkWolf · 19/04/2022 12:46

@Trippingslippingx1

I think the messaging app I use your name is already there and you have to manually change it (signal).

Boak. What a sleaze.

If anyone has any tips for screening these guys better let me know 😂 All the guys that use apps seem to be cheaters!

ahhh ok well that's totally different then
Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:46

@higherthanthat

Why don't these arseholes just go to the genuine cheaters' 'dating' sites?
I totally agree.

And I screen as best as I can. I am not stupid. I checked his social media / job anything obvious and really no sign whatsoever of a relationship. One of my friends ended up dating a guy from Bumble for 1 year who was married with children. 1. YEAR. She is a psychologist as well and very smart.

The only sign was him turning the phone round and me seeing my name saved as Charles. He could tell it threw me for a few minutes as well as he changed it straight to Charlotte.

OP posts:
HeDidWhattt · 19/04/2022 12:46

I’ve got a guy saved under a girls name….it’s called an affair. If it’s not for you then don’t even bother.
The guy I’m seeing knows his an affair partner as I was honest about it and he knows his saved as a womens name.

Trippingslippingx1 · 19/04/2022 12:48

@HeDidWhattt

I’ve got a guy saved under a girls name….it’s called an affair. If it’s not for you then don’t even bother. The guy I’m seeing knows his an affair partner as I was honest about it and he knows his saved as a womens name.
Yes thats not what happened here - he said it was a typing error and changed it back. So clearly covering something up.
OP posts:
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