Brother’s GF can’t stop lying

[Flymetothezoom]

I have recently moved nearer to my family after being away for 20 years. I am getting to know my brothers GF of 6 years. She never stops lying. Examples:

1. She is Catholic/Roma/Jewish/Protestant depending on the topic of conversation.

1. She earns £10k a month, even though she gets housing support and constantly borrows money

1. She was a top DJ/lawyer/chef -she actually worked in a call centre.

1. She runs two employment unions, works 20 hours a day on her business and has a day job.

I don’t care so much about these inconsequential lies, although they stop the flow of conversation because no matter the topic she is an expert and has done everything. These lies don’t really impact me but her nonsensical promises stop any of us in the family having a conversation.

For example:

1. We are having a Christening and were discussing cakes and she stops the conversation by saying that she was a professional baker and the cake will be a gift to us. She wasn’t, she didn’t. Luckily I suspected she wouldn’t so I got a back up cake.

1. We needed a builder, she stops the conversation by saying that she runs the office for a team of builders and they will come to see me the next day, never happens.

1. We are having a party, I discuss catering with my parents, she interrupts that she was a professional caterer and will do all the catering as a present to me.

1. She has volunteered to paint our house, redo our decking, relay the patio, buy me a designer bag, give legal advice, cut hair.. the list is endless and it is all nonsense. I don’t want or need her to do anything for me but I literally cannot have a conversation with my family because of her, she is always around them.

I have discussed it with my brother and he said that she believes what she says when she says it. What can I do?

[quote Flymetothezoom]@SpinningMeSoftly I didn’t know their number. I had a lapse of logic and thought they were builders she knew who would turn up.[/quote]
You didn’t care when they turned up?

@Whenyougonnalearn yes, I was going to be in all day and she said they would come round at 11 to give a quote. I should have known it was nonsense as usual but I didn’t think.

You have only recently moved to the area

You seem to have had a LOT of interaction with her. I mean - have you moved in with her??!

So odd that this woman has let you down many many multiples of times in a short period of time

And yet you keep lapping it up

This is absolutely fucking bonkers. I would find it excruciatingly embarrassing to be complicit with all those lies. You all seem to be around each other often enough- has no one ever just said, 'can I just stop you there? Why are you saying this?', seriously?! Or, 'are you a vampire? Because you'd have to be about 350 years old to have had all those careers in one life time' then again she would probably say yes she is

Or, 'are you a vampire? Because you'd have to be about 350 years old to have had all those careers in one life time' then again she would probably say yes she is

😂

@Whenyougonnalearn we moved here in November.

@SpinningMeSoftly if you think I am a troll report me, otherwise bore off.

[quote Flymetothezoom]@Whenyougonnalearn we moved here in November.[/quote]
So in 4/5 months
You must have spent so much time with this woman to have engaged with her on…

Cake baking, your hair, catering,jobs, religions, multiple building work jobs, monthly earning, previous professions, benefits, designer handbags, legal issues

Odd. Veeeerry odd

My best friend at school was like this. Pathological and completely unbelievable and often inconsistent. She'd had a troubled childhood. We had such fun times and laughed together so much that I just used to kind of ignore it.

She sounds like Jay from "The Inbetweeners!"

Report people if you think the OP is on a wind up, don’t troll hunt.

@Whenyougonnalearn yes I moved back to the area after a very long time and have talked to my family about many things. She is there a lot.
If you think I am a troll report me, otherwise stop pretending you are Columbo.

I think I would just avoid her whenever possible.

I am the daughter of an expert narcissist and although her lies were less blatant, we are estranged because nothing about our relationship was real.

I am just hoping that your brother doesn't envision children with this woman. She will completely fuck them up with her narcissistic lies.

Can you message her after each instance so you have written acknowledgement of the bullshit as evidence of character should it turn malicious.

Present it innoculously like oh you remember you said youd send some builders around from the team you manage, please can you send asap. When would you like to chat about cake flavours for the christening? What did you like making in your previous role as champion of the world?

She may stop. Or possibly your brother will distance himself to save face for dating her.

Yes this is hugely irritating for you and the adults in your family - but what the hell is your brother thinking having her around his children?

If she constantly lies to them this will be confusing for them. Does she meet their friends, their friends parents?

I can see all sorts of webs being spun - confused parents asking about the promised birthday cake, presents, days out etc.

*So in 4/5 months
You must have spent so much time with this woman to have engaged with her on…

Cake baking, your hair, catering,jobs, religions, multiple building work jobs, monthly earning, previous professions, benefits, designer handbags, legal issues

grin Odd. Veeeerry odd*

Why odd? I can cover that many subjects and probably more in 1 afternoon visit from my sister - we talk a lot.

OP - I think I'd prefer to go to her direct rather than embarrass her in front of others, she's doing a good enough job embarrassing herself to be honest. For all it's annoying and not true there may just be some, albeit fucked up, reason for her strange behaviour - mental illness for example.
I'd probably say look Jane we've all noticed that you elaborate the truth, we all know a lot of it isn't true and you really need to stop - we don't need you to be a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker please just be yourself. That is enough for us, You are enough for us.

[quote Flymetothezoom]@Whenyougonnalearn yes I moved back to the area after a very long time and have talked to my family about many things. She is there a lot.
If you think I am a troll report me, otherwise stop pretending you are Columbo.[/quote]
I don’t think making it go
I just think that this GF has found a family that she feels very at home with

Sounds like someone I knew, same kind of lies to make herself seem better . Was eventually diagnosed with EUPD/BPD and had to have intense therapy.

I knew her sister v well and with some types of BPD, it's about trying to evade feelings of shame and low self or unstable sense of self worth. This lady was also on benefits and had some physical disability she needed mobility aids for so I think she felt v inaedequate.

That's why she did it according to her sister anyway!

Sounds like a character from a comedy show 🤣