Colleague permanently off sick

[Littlejuice]

Colleague at work, forever coming to work for a fortnight then being signed off for a month or 6 weeks with anxiety - there is always something : currently it is her boyfriends uncle died, last time it was her cat died, time before she was upset about her boyfriend not proposing when they went on a holiday where she was convinced he would propose

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

Said colleague has been off for 3 weeks currently as she can't cope, but has plastered.many many pictures all over Facebook this weekend of various parties, BBQ, trips out. Rest of us working extra on call shifts to cover her because she's too stressed to work

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

@GrandRapids have you heard of bipolar disorder? Or emotionally unstable personality disorder/borderline personality disorder? Or schizo-affective disorder? Just a small number of many illness that can mean you are too unwell to be in work but could easily lead you to make impulsive decisions like partying too much/spontaneous day trips/holidays that you can't really afford/over spending/feeling like you are on top of the world (basically a manic episode). Trust me you do not want someone experiencing a manic episode to be in the workplace environment, it's a recipe for disaster, equally with those manic episodes there is then the crash and the depressive episode that follows. This is the bit you won't see posted on social media.

It’s very irritating and unfair on the rest of you covering her slack.

That being said, in the last 12 months I’ve had a couple of bouts of sickness which has resulted in needing a sicknote and having a least a few weeks off work. My manager knows exactly why I have been off but my team haven’t been aware every time because it’s very personal.
My dad died, I had 2 miscarriages, my DH was experiencing suicidal and had a major mental health crisis which caused me extreme stress, and now I’ve just had covid and I’m still really unwell and likely not to go back this week.
I’m sure my team are becoming really fed up of me but I’ve just had some terrible luck! My point being maybe something else is going on and she doesn’t feel like she can say.

Your managment need to deal with it better regarding the workload

There are people genuinely unwell with MH issues who will never take the piss and plenty who know how to 'play the game' we have several at work who have openly said to others they call in and say MH is bad as they know nobody will question it. Which is in the main true.

Our work uses a Bradford Scale meaning once we have been off I think its three times in a year we are in to see HR and look at can we manage the demands, do we need occupational health or counselling referrals etc.

@TweetTweetMF

If she's not to anxious to go out and enjoy herself on a near enough daily basis then she could clearly deal with being in work. She's a CF. I would write a complaint to your manager about the extra shifts.

Totally bollocks, sorry. A friend of mine has Been signed off for weeks with mental health issues Diagnosed anxiety, ocd and has panic attacks She’s having therapy to learn helping mechanisms but is very unwell.

She does meet us for lunch and comes to the gym. But has been told it’s beneficial for her mental health to do so. If you didn’t know her you wouldn’t have seen the panic attacks before coming out, etc.

Work is actually a major trigger for her ocd and panic attacks. She’s going back to work soon but is worried she’s going to go downhill big time.

The problem is with your employer for not replacing her.

I have a friend who suffers with mental health so it boils my piss when people use it to their advantage. its the new bad back

Well she isn't "permanently off sick" is she?

As PP have pointed out - management need to allow for work to be covered when people are off sick/annual leave etc. Just do your own work and mind your own business.

That sounds so frustrating and stressful.

It seems like a very temporary problem though. Unless she's the boss's daughter she will not keep this role for long at all, if it's as bad as you say.

I also agree with others who have pointed out that mental health can look different to how you'd imagine.

One of my relatives has been doing this for years, she tried to move jobs a couple of years ago and got rejected at the final hurdle on the fact she had so much time off. My relative wanted to pursue a discrimation case 😆. Thing is if she'd got the job she wouldn't have been there EVER. They clearly realised they needed someone to actually do the job. She did eventually move jobs and predictable as ever she has been off long term sick pretty much since starting. The thing is the job she does is public service and she is well protected, she has "mental health issues", more like lazyitis. They asked her to go back into the office once covid restrictions were lifted and she didn't like it so went off sick again. I've no idea how she still has a job? She should just give up work, it isn't fair to anyone she works with. I'm amazed so many people get away with this sort of thing.

If you are going to say something, it needs to be framed as there is extra stress placed on the team and more support is needed to cover them. I wouldn't place any focus on the particular individual or absence, more just that there is an increased workload when staff are absent. You don't want to be accused of pointing the finger.

What people were saying about her posting on social media, off with stress/mh you are allowed to go out and live your life, you aren't under house arrest so I wouldn't go down the route of saying "look what she's been doing, out having fun".

Your employer is not suffering any negative consequences as a result of this woman's absences because the rest of you are covering her work. Stop covering her work, it is not your responsibility to do so. You have your own jobs to do. Make this your manager's problem, not your problem.

I think we work in the same place , it’s easy to tell if staff are genuinely ill or not. We have a colleague and we can time all school holidays by her , she is always off I’ll in the the lead up then off all over the holiday period , it’s been going on for years yet she gets away with it

See threads like this make me worried about this in my current job, I’ve only been there since September last year and I’ve been off since February with a heart problem under investigation. Work are constantly pestering me for updates and I’m sure my colleagues are talking about me too. I want to return to work but my docs won’t let me until cardiology have made a decision on what’s wrong with me. I’ve also had a mental breakdown. I went back to work too soon after my husband died.

The only things I post on social media are my crochet projects, I don’t go out much and even if I do it’s to a cafe or a bit of shopping.

I am worried about my job. But I’m off for a reason

@blackheartsgirl

See threads like this make me worried about this in my current job, I’ve only been there since September last year and I’ve been off since February with a heart problem under investigation. Work are constantly pestering me for updates and I’m sure my colleagues are talking about me too. I want to return to work but my docs won’t let me until cardiology have made a decision on what’s wrong with me. I’ve also had a mental breakdown. I went back to work too soon after my husband died.

The only things I post on social media are my crochet projects, I don’t go out much and even if I do it’s to a cafe or a bit of shopping.

I am worried about my job. But I’m off for a reason

Surely you can see that's not the same as being off 'sick' because you didn't get a proposal? And then posting yourself on fb at parties etc.

There's no need to be worried if you are genuinely ill.

I completely agree with you OP. But this is Mumsnet where most people seem to think that employees who behave like that are doing nothing wrong and you should not have an opinion about it.
People like her place undue stress on their colleagues and employers and financial stress on businesses and institutions. She is pathetic and needs to get a grip.
I have no doubt she knows exactly what she is doing but if by some rare possibility she has an unusual condition that means any stress in her life is incompatible with her working then she should resign and go on benefits- allow the employer to appoint someone who can do the job and relieve the pressure on her colleagues.
I hope her employer is in the process of going through a procedure that leads to her dismissal.
I would find it impossible to show her any sympathy at all.

@blackheartsgirl

See threads like this make me worried about this in my current job, I’ve only been there since September last year and I’ve been off since February with a heart problem under investigation. Work are constantly pestering me for updates and I’m sure my colleagues are talking about me too. I want to return to work but my docs won’t let me until cardiology have made a decision on what’s wrong with me. I’ve also had a mental breakdown. I went back to work too soon after my husband died.

The only things I post on social media are my crochet projects, I don’t go out much and even if I do it’s to a cafe or a bit of shopping.

I am worried about my job. But I’m off for a reason

Hardly the same situation. However, if you have not been there a year, they can dismiss you very easily.

No I do realise that but people do still talk and speculate. I’ve seen it happen in a previous job to genuine people and I think the fact that I’ve only been there a short time makes me worried.

@BrightonBunny

Well she isn't "permanently off sick" is she?

As PP have pointed out - management need to allow for work to be covered when people are off sick/annual leave etc. Just do your own work and mind your own business.

ODFOD and live in the real world. Management should nit have to cover someone who is iff more often than not.

@DrDreReturns

This sounds like a public sector organisation. You wouldn't be able to do that where I work now (in the private sector.) I have worked in the public sector for a decade and knew a few people like this. It is terrible for the morale of the other staff who have to pick up the slack. There may have been other things going on behind the scenes but when someone literally comes in for a week and is then signed off sick for months again it makes you think it isn't being managed very well.

100%. Private sector manage sickness absence, public sector don't. Ridiculous

@blackheartsgirl

See threads like this make me worried about this in my current job, I’ve only been there since September last year and I’ve been off since February with a heart problem under investigation. Work are constantly pestering me for updates and I’m sure my colleagues are talking about me too. I want to return to work but my docs won’t let me until cardiology have made a decision on what’s wrong with me. I’ve also had a mental breakdown. I went back to work too soon after my husband died.

The only things I post on social media are my crochet projects, I don’t go out much and even if I do it’s to a cafe or a bit of shopping.

I am worried about my job. But I’m off for a reason

Sorry to hear this Blacksheart I hope you get this sorted. Your Bradford factor will be reported as part of a standard reference, and understandably (even if you have a legitimate reason) employers will take into account an employees sickness record.

They want a job doing and so need a person in to do it.

It’s not unreasonable for them to do this tbh.

I really hope you get some answers soon and if your health manages to improve, you’d be better off sticking with your current job to improve your absence record, before applying anywhere else.

@LuluBlakey1

I completely agree with you OP. But this is Mumsnet where most people seem to think that employees who behave like that are doing nothing wrong and you should not have an opinion about it. People like her place undue stress on their colleagues and employers and financial stress on businesses and institutions. She is pathetic and needs to get a grip. I have no doubt she knows exactly what she is doing but if by some rare possibility she has an unusual condition that means any stress in her life is incompatible with her working then she should resign and go on benefits- allow the employer to appoint someone who can do the job and relieve the pressure on her colleagues. I hope her employer is in the process of going through a procedure that leads to her dismissal. I would find it impossible to show her any sympathy at all.

I agree with a lot of this.

Off sick because of her BF uncle? Then off sick for a cat?

WTF

If they don’t let me go first there’s nothing I can do I suppose, I do understand why it has to be so, I just hope that cardio give me some answers tomorrow

She knows her rights and is using it to not go into work therefore messing you all around. She will be fired eventually once HO or Manager get their evidence together. What a horrible woman and have known many over the years who take the piss. It used to happen to me also.

@Gwenhwyfar

The problem is with your employer for not replacing her.

The problem is someone taking the piss. Yes the employer should put measures in place but this woman seems to be a lazy piss-taker.

And not that smart either if she’s posting it on SM for all to see.