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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague permanently off sick

303 replies

Littlejuice · 19/04/2022 06:41

Colleague at work, forever coming to work for a fortnight then being signed off for a month or 6 weeks with anxiety - there is always something : currently it is her boyfriends uncle died, last time it was her cat died, time before she was upset about her boyfriend not proposing when they went on a holiday where she was convinced he would propose

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

Said colleague has been off for 3 weeks currently as she can't cope, but has plastered.many many pictures all over Facebook this weekend of various parties, BBQ, trips out. Rest of us working extra on call shifts to cover her because she's too stressed to work

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

OP posts:

PlasticineMeg · 19/04/2022 09:09

Is the sick pay very good?

We have a member of staff like this in our team, he is never in, it sends us absolutely potty

Calandor · 19/04/2022 09:09

Raise it with your manager but not in a way that criticises her.

Mention it is too much work for YOU to handle, that it is doubling your work, stressful etc. That way they can maybe hire cover but you don't look like you're sticking your nose into someone's health issues.

Gonnagetgoing · 19/04/2022 09:10

Another part for my post. There was only one team sec/PA in our office yet lots of workers wanted to do their own typing. We hired another team sec as we had lots of work. This woman hadn’t been an office worker before and spent most of her time chatting on her phone, passing tapes to me and calling in sick the morning after she was out DJing . I was being over worked but didn’t complain so they then made her redundant.

It turned out eventually that the main director in charge of office workers thought I was lying (untrue) re my sickness and stated this on a feedback to an agency when I was trying to leave. I had to get another director involved who said they’d only give date and time references and also saw an employment lawyer to ensure my sickness reasons were valid and this director was being vindictive as she said she didn’t want me to leave!

Before I had my mental health issues I’d have dismissed others with them out of hand but at one point I was almost suicidal myself due to mine and I was lucky I had a supportive workplace and employer/colleagues.

rc22 · 19/04/2022 09:10

You don't know what's going on with her mental health but if your employer is covering her absence by increasing your workload then that's not fair on you and your employer needs to do something differently.

Cavancrackers · 19/04/2022 09:12

My manager has been going off on sick and holiday every week for the past 5 months. HR do nothing! I won’t pick up his work!

RedSwing · 19/04/2022 09:14

And yes if you feel like a mental health day or week off would do you good then take it. You owe the employer nothing beyond the hours you put in when there. They don't own your MH or your enjoyment of life and would rather you stayed at work and had a breakdown.. you don't have to play along. Take control of your life OP.
You owe your employer nothing not even the hours that you have promised to put in it seems.😏

Badger1970 · 19/04/2022 09:14

This is MN. People are persuaded to "get signed off" at the drop of a hat.

I'd be looking for another job, personally. I have no tolerance for management that allows such blatant piss taking.

ExplodingElephants · 19/04/2022 09:17

We had a colleague at my old work who was known for this. She’d be off for 6 months then come in for the minimum amount of time to qualify for full sick pay and off she went again. This was the NHS so fab sick pay. She’d been doing it years before I even started apparently. She eventually left and no-one seemed to know if she was sacked/retired/medically retired/new job 🤷‍♀️

PAFMO · 19/04/2022 09:18

@Badger1970

This is MN. People are persuaded to "get signed off" at the drop of a hat.

I'd be looking for another job, personally. I have no tolerance for management that allows such blatant piss taking.

I was thinking that. It's weird, isn't it? The double standards depending on what the OP has written? (not this one, in general)

OP- I didn't sleep very well
MN - ring in sick
OP -it's my first day in new job and I've got a sore throat
MN- ring in sick, the manager will understand (newsflash- they will, but not in the way MN thinks)
OP- colleague is off sick with MH issues
MN- report them!

punkylaroux · 19/04/2022 09:18

I understand your frustration, however the only part you can have any tangible control over is raising with HR that her absence is having an adverse affect on your own work load. If the pattern of absence is so blatant by your colleague, surely this will already be an issue your employer is aware of and HR should be dealing with. As far as seeing her own personal activities on Facebook, just mute or block them, because it's just going
to compound the situation and only wind you up

PlasticineMeg · 19/04/2022 09:20

@RedSwing

And yes if you feel like a mental health day or week off would do you good then take it. You owe the employer nothing beyond the hours you put in when there. They don't own your MH or your enjoyment of life and would rather you stayed at work and had a breakdown.. you don't have to play along. Take control of your life OP. You owe your employer nothing not even the hours that you have promised to put in it seems.😏

Exactly.

I’m sick of this Generation Z attitude to work that being an employee is doing a massive favour and that employers should bend to their every whim whilst they put in the bare minimum and call in sick if they feel like a lie-in. This work ethic shows in businesses up and down the country, it shows in poor customer service and it’s just typical of the ‘I’m amazing and no one can tell me what to do’ arrested development of the Youth Who Know Everything. And if anyone disagrees with them rather than engaging in constructive debate they just hark ‘ok Karen’ or ‘ok boomer’.

user1471538283 · 19/04/2022 09:20

If you are struggling to constantly cover her work tell your manager and stop doing it. Whilst you mask the absence the business will not see it is a problem.

I've masked shortage of time constantly through my career and there is no thanks for it. The last time I did it I failed my objectives. I do not do this anymore. Whether the work gets done and whether the additional work means you are off sick with stress is your managers problem.

PlasticineMeg · 19/04/2022 09:22

And a big ‘grrrr’ to those who advise calling in sick over nothing. All very well for MN posters to advise that but they might not realise that the person on the other end is employed by an organisation that who has a policy that means that encouraged lie-in will trigger a review and maybe a disciplinary

saleorbouy · 19/04/2022 09:24

Collectively bring it up with HR and management.
If she has been off for considerable time and is unreliable to fill the position then either a temporary position should be created or a new position.
For long term " illness" your employer cannot expect you to work excess hours or harder to fill the gap of an employee with long term symptoms.
Surely in time she will be assessed for her " fitness to work" by an occupational health clinician. She should be moved to a part time post she can "cope" with.

DancingUnderTheLights · 19/04/2022 09:28

It’s hard to know what’s going on. The photos on social media don’t look good but the are just photos. I smile at a camera no matter how I feel. If she’s not genuine her excuses are terrible. You think you’d be able to come up with better excuses.

ilovesooty · 19/04/2022 09:30

You need to raise the issue of the workload.

The other stuff isn't your business.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/04/2022 09:32

@ilovesooty

You need to raise the issue of the workload.

The other stuff isn't your business.

exactly

Rewis · 19/04/2022 09:33

Seems like a management problem.

GrandRapids · 19/04/2022 09:34

If you have a debilitating mental health condition that is serious enough to keep you off work for long periods of time you do not go out partying and on lots of day trips, broadcasting it all over social media.

Of course she's taking the piss!! You could send an anonymous email to your manager/HR with screen shots of this weekend if you want to dob her in?

BeerLoas · 19/04/2022 09:39

I wouldn’t do that.

www.employmentlawworldview.com/you-can-go-to-the-pub-if-off-sick-from-work-says-tribunal-and-other-wild-over-simplifications-uk/

Whether people like it or not there are procedures. Gossiping and complaining about someone else is just that, whereas talking about a situation that is impacting you is quite a different conversation.

Quincythequince · 19/04/2022 09:41

@Littlejuice

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

If she is off with constant MH problems it is really bad for her in the long run. Not least her purported inability to cope with standard situations and setbacks in life so it seems, but it is not good to be off with prolonged MH problems and she will feel Thai when a reference comes in for future jobs (Bradford factor will be dire and you can report on that factually in a reference).

Employers also have the right to get rid of someone who is perpetually long term I’ll, as long as all the right steps and approaches are taken. They can legally do this.

From what you say it doesn’t sound like she’s genuinely ill, but then how do you know why she’s been signed off?

SuzyQ12 · 19/04/2022 09:41

This would annoy me, OP, the reasons being given make her seem like a CF and she will be gradually losing the good will of the team to cover her work, with social media exacerbating this. There may be issues she is experiencing which the manager is aware of but not the wider team, however, there are also unfortunately plenty of people out there who know how to work the system!

You should therefore focus on the impact of her being off so frequently on you and the other team members, and raise this with your manager from the perspective of the workload being unmanageable on a medium to long term basis and the consequent impact of this on the mental health of the rest of the team - the last thing you need is another team member going off because of the stress of managing additional workload, and having to manage their work too...

stuckdownahole · 19/04/2022 09:41

My friend who does corporate HR predicted 20 years ago that "stress" would be to the 21st century what "bad back" was to the 80s and 90s - the preferred excuse of slackers who wanted to game the system.

It's very unfair on people who genuinely suffer from stress, or a bad back.

Mellowyellow222 · 19/04/2022 09:41

While I can see exactly where you are coming from - tread carefully here.

You aren’t her line manager - and there will probably be all sorts of things going on to manager this that you aren’t and shouldn’t be aware of.

I know someone who raised this type of issue and was accused of victimising the person off sick.

Quincythequince · 19/04/2022 09:41

Feel it (not Thai)

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