Colleague permanently off sick

[Littlejuice]

Colleague at work, forever coming to work for a fortnight then being signed off for a month or 6 weeks with anxiety - there is always something : currently it is her boyfriends uncle died, last time it was her cat died, time before she was upset about her boyfriend not proposing when they went on a holiday where she was convinced he would propose

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

Said colleague has been off for 3 weeks currently as she can't cope, but has plastered.many many pictures all over Facebook this weekend of various parties, BBQ, trips out. Rest of us working extra on call shifts to cover her because she's too stressed to work

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

@RampantIvy

No doubt she is suffering from poor mental health, but it isn't fair on the rest of you. She also seems to lack social awareness if she thinks it is OK to plaster her social life on social media.

‘No doubt’? Some people are chancers. As seen by her lame excuses

Stop covering her work and let it all fall apart

And herein lies a problem with the obsession with mental health and the pathologising of normal life events, E.g. a cat dying

You don’t have a ‘mental health problem’ because your cat died. You are just upset.

YANBU and people need to be less “#bekind” and get her to take on responsibility for the bloody job she’s supposed to be doing

Hopefully you have decent mgt and HR who will manage her so better attendance or managed out as she isn't fulfilling contract.

@LetHimHaveIt

I fully, fully agree with you *@Littlejuice*, but you'll get your arse handed to you on here, where it's apparently fine to have huge swathes of time off for the most nebulous of reasons.

I had a huge swathe of time off for a genuine reason, but I didn't give that reason to my colleagues because it was incredibly personal.

You have 2 problems

1. the team member who HR should be managing.
   The solution for that problem on a team level is a SM block.
   (I would suggest that employees routinely block all fellow employees from accessing their SM).
   What other employees do when not in work falls with in "not work business, personal life".

2. HR are not providing the cover and team members are having to work over and above their usual hours to provide cover.
   a) is the team providing the cover for free or is there an extra cost to your employer?
   b) do the team intent to continue to provide cover or do they approach management to request that temporarily staff are employed?

Do you work for a large organization or smaller one. Some smaller employers have no absence policy or just are too afraid or don’t know how to manage it. The professional empathizers will tell you that you are being unreasonable because they are saints. But she is probably taking the Michael because mental health is the new back pain - everyone has it as a condition. She sound like the kind who would take time off for breaking a nail, especially as your employer has failed to a mange her absence.

We have one of these at work. Loads of time off for stress every few weeks. Everything is a massive drama. When she is at work, she’s always trying to sort out personal issues and not working. But obviously there’s something wrong with her because someone with good mental health wouldn’t behave like that. I find it helps me to empathise more if I ask myself “Would I swap places?” and NO, I wouldn’t.

But if you are being overloaded with work because of her absence, that’s poor management.

Block her on FB, and all of you in the team need to tell your manager you need a temp.

As for how you all know her personal medical issues - people like this always broadcast every minute detail of their problems all round the office, in their brief intervals at work before going sick again.

Either way here, whether she is masking something or being a CF - you have a manager problem. That’s not being a professional empathiser, that’s 25 years work experience in a professional environment.

@LetHimHaveIt

I fully, fully agree with you *@Littlejuice*, but you'll get your arse handed to you on here, where it's apparently fine to have huge swathes of time off for the most nebulous of reasons.

This, and the arse handerers seem to give zero fucks for the people who are being over worked and stressed by the extra work they are having to do. For some reason it's absolutely OK for them to suck it up and push through, and they are terrible,awful people for not doing this with a song in their heart, and sending all the best #bekind thoughts to the person plastering all over social media their holidays and fun events!

If it’s resulting in extra work for then ask for more money or for them to hire more staff. The rest is none of your business. I doubt management are oblivious to her attendance.

Your manager probably isn't seeing such a difference in work if people are covering for her etc. if people stopped working overtime then maybe they would look at getting someone else in.
Only cover extra shifts if you genuinely want them, but if not, don't take them on and don't let it effect your life. Also, what someone else has said - just delete her from Facebook if you don't want to see her posts. Are you not friends outside of work?

If it isn't extra shifts, but more work during the day, I'd speak to the manager to say they need to get someone in to cover while she's off as it's too much for you all to manage.

Op, IME there are 3 things organisations and HR are very bad with:

1. Managing recurrent absence properly - it tends to go on for a long time before intervention esp when related to MH issues

1. Managing mental Heath absence - no manager wants to touch it, very nervous about any sort of enquiry which lends being off with stress to abuse

1. Providing cover for absent staff - rarely happens. Assumption is staff will pick up the slack always. V irritating but somewhat down to lack of budget and mgmt trying to avoid headache of sorting cover.

You are dealing with al three things and there is not much you can do except express your concerns to HR and to your mgrs. if you can speak to someone in HR they may have more sway than your mgr.

@SolasAnla your post has really annoyed me. I am in a very senior HR role. It is not HR's role to manage. It is HR's role to provide appropriate guidance in accordance with policy and procedure to enable managers to manage. All too often that guidance is given and managers do diddly squat and then blame it on HR.

It is not HR's role to facilitate a temp, ie, to have the procured agencies in place and a system for approvals. It is up to the manager to get it approved. It is likely only to be approved if there is budget for it or it is evident the absence is having a detrimental impact on the operational needs of the business and can't reasonably be covered by existing staff.

I doubt she'll stay in post for long. They'll need to exhaust her contractual leave and then go through a capability procedure. That said, it is important for poor mental health to do enjoyable things as sitting at home on her own is only likely to make the problems worse.

That sounds incredibly annoying. Definitely unfriend or hide her so you don't see her activities popping up all the time.

Then speak to your manager about the workload and that for 90% of the time you are understaffed. Don't make it personal about her just that due to illness your all having to work extra.

Have you always been scathing of mental health problems OP, or is it something new?
There but for the grace of God eh?
(perhaps you should ask HR to remind your colleague that being signed off requires them to stay locked in the house, preferably confined to bed, on a drip/life support machine, etc)

^As I said - you have a manager problem.

The problem is while the excuses she is giving are a bit rubbish you don't really know what's going on in her head, she's had conversations with her GP who has seen fit to give her a fit note. Mental health carries such a stigma that a lot of people don't have any sympathy for those who suffer, and a lot more don't even believe it exists. You can't easily be classed as unfit for work through it (and not everyone wants this, for many people work is helpful), but when your mental health begins to spiral you are deemed lazy and playing the system by those around you. If you are posting on social media then you are clearly making it all up and taking the mick, which is completley untrue - I posted a picture of myself laughing in the snow a day before I attempted suicide, pictures don't show everything.

I can see it from both sides, I know how frustrating it is to constantly have to cover someone who never seems to be there, but I also know how it feels to be so completley consumed by mental illness that work becomes impossible and dealt with the stigma that comes with it. My illness is one that will be with me for life,a and is notoriously difficult to manage and so it could get bad again at any point without warning, I do think that many people who have suffered one bout of depression or anxiety but coped seem to be the ones who just expect everyone else to cope too.

HR's role to have procurement agreements in place and a system for approvals.

@hamstersarse

And herein lies a problem with the obsession with mental health and the pathologising of normal life events, E.g. a cat dying

You don’t have a ‘mental health problem’ because your cat died. You are just upset.

YANBU and people need to be less “#bekind” and get her to take on responsibility for the bloody job she’s supposed to be doing

Totally agree with this.

Stressful and upsetting situations are an unavoidable part of life not a medical condition. Learning how to cope with that and build resilience are important life skills that we seem to have lost with the immediate jump to diagnose someone as depressed or suffering from anxiety. Feelings of stress and upset at difficult times are normal. It’s a continuum.

Being more open and de stigmatising mental health conditions is a good thing and people genuinely suffering need help and support. But diagnosing mental health issues for every difficult situation people come across is a damaging unintended consequence.

Awful situation to be in OP. I do think it’s part of the covid legacy. Furlough and first time WFHomers mean some people have gotten used to being at home and still getting paid so they play the MH card. Hard one especially for those who genuinely have MH issues

Agree with Posters saying you need to stop just picking up the extra work or you’ll be stuck with it if she is ever let go!

@PAFMO

Have you always been scathing of mental health problems OP, or is it something new? There but for the grace of God eh? (perhaps you should ask HR to remind your colleague that being signed off requires them to stay locked in the house, preferably confined to bed, on a drip/life support machine, etc)

So you'd be happy to continually do extra shifts? I'd be scathing if someone was signed off because their boyfriend didn't propose!

It’s not within the NHS is it? Im 30 years in and this behaviour is bizarrely tolerated but only for so long. They’ll eventually be moved on and it becomes another areas problem!