Colleague permanently off sick

[Littlejuice]

Colleague at work, forever coming to work for a fortnight then being signed off for a month or 6 weeks with anxiety - there is always something : currently it is her boyfriends uncle died, last time it was her cat died, time before she was upset about her boyfriend not proposing when they went on a holiday where she was convinced he would propose

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

Said colleague has been off for 3 weeks currently as she can't cope, but has plastered.many many pictures all over Facebook this weekend of various parties, BBQ, trips out. Rest of us working extra on call shifts to cover her because she's too stressed to work

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

You need to keep raising the issues to your manager and HR. Repeatedly. Record everything. Don’t just keep covering the work as nothing will change. Of course your manager and HR know there’s an issue but until you stick it under their noses over and over the they’ll ignore it. Shout abs keep shouting until something is done and record everything in follow up emails. Good luck op!

I was in a similar position to you op, only I was having to put in extra unpaid hours to make sure everything got done. And I was told on here I was selfish and should do it willingly to help her.
It's beyond frustrating and enfuriating. You have my sympathy.

You were made with faculties of judgement, why would you refuse to use them?

@PAFMO

Have you always been scathing of mental health problems OP, or is it something new? There but for the grace of God eh? (perhaps you should ask HR to remind your colleague that being signed off requires them to stay locked in the house, preferably confined to bed, on a drip/life support machine, etc)

The thing is, it's dramatic responses like this that fuel peoples annoyance at times. How have you extrapolated being locked in a house, confined to bed and on a drip/life support with someone not going into work, but going out partying and on holiday?

You'd think they'd have spotted she was a skiver at 'boyfriend's uncle'.

She'll keep doing it as long as they let her, but surely someone must have cottoned on they're being taken for mugs.

Also refuse to work extra hours. Never work for free and don't let yourself be bullied into it. Employers need workers more than workers need their employer - go elsewhere!

There are certain mental health conditions and disorders where someone’s reaction to seemingly small setbacks can be very extreme. I have a friend with emotional instability disorder and she can be doing great until the slightest thing goes wrong and it will send her into a deep, deep depression for days.

I’m not diagnosing your colleague with anything, just cautioning against writing her off as a drama queen or a chancer if you don’t know her very very closely and know exactly what might be going on with her. ‘She had time off because she was upset her boyfriend didn’t propose’ might be a very watered down version that was spread around colleagues, or the only explanation that she felt able to give for a much more complex situation.

I also really don’t like it when people pull the ‘she posted pics from a party on Facebook’ line, as social media is only a tiny tiny snapshot of someone’s life. I used to suffer from agoraphobia and you could have found pictures of me at parties from that time, which might have led you to think I was lying or exaggerating about my condition. But the pictures wouldn’t show the constant internal panic I was feeling, or the beta blockers I’d probably taken before going, or the fact that I only stayed for 30 minutes and it then took me days to recover from the sheer effort of going outside.

Or she might be a chancer and taking the piss, of course.

Either way, I would try to turn your focus away from her and onto management instead, as others have said. It’s always a good strategy in life to focus on what you can control. You can’t control your colleague, her absences or the reasons for them, but you can talk to management about how it’s affecting the rest of you and ask them to do something about it.

Your anger and frustration are entirely misplaced. Your colleague's attendance patterns are none of your business. You're not her manager, you're not her employer. Whether her anxiety is real or fake, it's a matter between her and HR. Not your job.

Your workload increasing to unsustainable levels is something for you and your other colleagues to discuss with your respective managers. So put your big girl pants on and do so, instead of moaning on Mumsnet. Be a grown up, and talk to the person in charge about your work conditions, and how they prevent you from doing your job effectively and are affecting your health. It's your manager's job to sort it, by whatever means necessary. Whether it involves hiring or firing someone is none of your business.

You have a manager problem, your manager may or may not have an employee problem. You do not have a colleague's problem.
But punching down and moaning to nobodies is easier than actually facing up and talking truth to power, eh? Maybe one day you'll grow big enough balls/ovaries to do what's right, instead of doing what's easy.

No advice but I’m aware how badly this can impact. We had this at our work. One man took 70 days off one year in drubs and drabs. Mix of drink, covid, fake covid plus multiple small issues that people normally power through. HR and management were rubbish. His absence badly impacted a small team and caused serious safeguarding issues. Made him incredibly unpopular, with nobody willing to risk being on shift with him. He was lazy at work too. At no point did he change patterns of behaviour, everything was everyone else’s fault. The team were great and had supported and cared for each other through health problems and family issues but he pushed them over the edge and used up all their good will.

You’re employers are at fault here.

If she’s genuine, they need to get someone to cover her work, not lump it all on you and your colleagues.

If she’s bit genuine they need to get to the bottom of it. And get someone to cover in the meantime

@Porcupineintherough

Ime she'll make a miraculous recovery when the enhanced sick pay runs out.

Yes, and if if it has already this job won't be her 'bread and butter' money and she'll be supported by her partner or family.

What have you said to your manager?

By the way, be very careful of not talking shit about your disabled colleague. Chronic anxiety would mean she has a protected characteristic, and any form of bullying/harassment (perceived or real) could land you in hot water.
A workplace has rules. It's a good idea to know and understand these rules.

@BeerLoas

Your anger is completely misguided, you don’t know what’s going on with her underneath or the conversations with her GP. Maybe she’s actually off due to bullying?

But whether it’s real or not your issue is/should be with your line manager.

It usually takes a few posts before the #bekind idiots starts - but bullseye with the first post!

Of course she doesnt know what the conversations are she didnt say she did.

But your veiled implication that the coworker is being bullied is uncalled for when others are mopping up her work.

I’ll post my experience here.

In late 20s early 30s I had 2 grandparents I was very close to die and lots of family drama re the first one. Then I had a bad breakup with a relationship where I was on Prozac and had counselling (emotionally abusive). Yes I took some Monday’s off as I simply couldn’t cope and was overwhelmed.

I also sprained my ankle, got flu, had starts of RSI as I was typing a lot - all documented with work. The final draw was when a close friend suffering from bipolar/schizophrenia killed herself suddenly.

We had a new office manager start and I was concerned my bosses were monitoring my sickness levels but it was a small medium company with 50 colleagues plus another office of bigger size and I’d been there 6 years and survived redundancy rounds. I spoke to her about my concerns as she kept HR records and she reassured me nothing was in my file.

It’s not great if a person is off sick and is exaggerating it, but she may be dealing with things differently re going out.

I’d speak to your manager and say you need to get a temp to help cover the work as you can’t cope and leave them to discipline this woman if they need to.

[quote PAFMO]@Littlejuice

In your previous threads you say you work as a senior manager in the public sector and in an ITU of a hospital.

As a senior manager are you then somehow part of the line management for the absent person?

Are other HCPs brought in to cover the absence (presumably in ITU also?) Or are you saying that people in the NHS aren't being paid to cover shifts?[/quote]
If this is true then you're bang out of order complaining about your colleague in such detail on here. I hope she recognises herself and raises a grievance against you for bullying her.

Exactly @TheArtfulBlogger and post above yours is another example of this. "Be very careful...."
That sounds rather ominous and threatening, basically put up and shut up and do her work with a smile or you will be the one to lose your job?

@Moochio how is this bullying?

What sector is this in? I'm guessing Healthcare/ NHS. So much piss taking like this gets tolerated. Ridiculous!

Don't block her on SM. It's evidence the employer can use to dismiss her legitimately

@merrymelodies

How do you know what her medical health issues are, OP? Surely this isn't something up for office debate?

Well it is if you're covering her workload!

@TheArtfulBlogger

You have massively misunderstood ALL of my posts which clearly say it is a management issue whether she’s a CF or it’s genuine, but it’s fashionable to label people an apologist #bekind and call them idiots.

The comment on bullying was to the OP as she IS claiming to know all the conversations since she listed them all for everyone to judge yet is doing the worst thing - complaining in a gossipy way about a colleague without doing anything that would actually attempt to solve the problem despite allegedly being senior management herself. That’s the very definition of workplace bullying.

YANBU I've seen advice on here by NHS staff to threaten to go on long-term sick if you don't get the flextime you wanted...there are those who abuse the system and I think they don't see any harm in it - they don't really understand the impact they are having and don't see it as theft.

There’s nothing you can do because the managers are doctors, nurses or scientists who have no idea how to manage staff. Friend was promoted to Head of Radiology - she didn't want the job, but there was no one else with enough experience - she was given no training, no mentors, no support - she's a consultant, with no desire to be a manager...it always make me laugh when people bang on about paying for managers in NHS, at least they might actually be trained and want to manage.

I'd block her and speak to your manager about work loads but people behaving like this camn really affect staff morale.

I agree that you sound awful op

Your workplace sounds shitty if one person being off causes this much drama for you. At my workplace it’s pretty much business as usual and no one would have to do overtime to catch up for the unwell person. It’s bad management and bad culture, it’s not the fault of the unwell person

Tbh, how do you know all the reasons you have given for her being upset are true? Ultimately it’s a confidential matter between her, her manager and HR It’s doubtful she would want anyone to know the “real” reason so those reasons could have been given as a cover. It’s plausible that you have just been given random excuses

Beyond that health issues don’t need to be justified, by nature you can’t really justify them. Therefore it doesn’t matter who died and how close she was or her relationship status, her mental health is rock bottom regardless

I’ve been off with stress before. My GP said it was essential that I ensured I had a social life and left the house every day. If someone just sits at home they won’t get better. If she has stress going out is the same as someone with a broken leg going to physio.

Who cares what she does, the consequences will be on her.

What IS wrong is the consequences of your job's crap management landing on you and your colleagues OP. If you can all get together and write down the impact being 1 staff member down is having on everyone's workload and output then escalate to management and HR. Do not take on the additional work! Are you in a union? Get a rep involved. Make the employer deal with this properly - "this" being the impact on yourself and colleagues. That is where your focus should be.

And yes if you feel like a mental health day or week off would do you good then take it. You owe the employer nothing beyond the hours you put in when there. They don't own your MH or your enjoyment of life and would rather you stayed at work and had a breakdown.. you don't have to play along. Take control of your life OP.