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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague permanently off sick

303 replies

Littlejuice · 19/04/2022 06:41

Colleague at work, forever coming to work for a fortnight then being signed off for a month or 6 weeks with anxiety - there is always something : currently it is her boyfriends uncle died, last time it was her cat died, time before she was upset about her boyfriend not proposing when they went on a holiday where she was convinced he would propose

Team I work in all sick of it. Have got to the stage where we just never expect her to be in and cover her work, but genuinely now getting so pissed off

Said colleague has been off for 3 weeks currently as she can't cope, but has plastered.many many pictures all over Facebook this weekend of various parties, BBQ, trips out. Rest of us working extra on call shifts to cover her because she's too stressed to work

I know I'm being judgemental, I know I am, but has made me rage - surely at some point she just has to accept life has its challenges, come to work like the rest of us?

OP posts:

Nishkin · 19/04/2022 08:13

the reasons given may not be the actual reasons. Depression and anxiety is not logical is it.

Stop playing the martyr card by doing the extra work- I have colleagues who work massively over the hours they are paid for and are horrified at those of us who don’t.

TweetTweetMF · 19/04/2022 08:16

If she's not to anxious to go out and enjoy herself on a near enough daily basis then she could clearly deal with being in work. She's a CF.
I would write a complaint to your manager about the extra shifts.

carefullycourageous · 19/04/2022 08:16

If A) she is nu truly unwell then HR need to deal with it, or if B) she is genuinely finding life harder than you, stop bitching.

You have to ask yourself - why follow someone on FB who you clearly dislike?

I think YABU as you are just rubbing salt in your own wound. You have no idea what is actually going on in this person's life/head, why waste your energy?

IcedOatLatte · 19/04/2022 08:16

@RampantIvy

No doubt she is suffering from poor mental health, but it isn't fair on the rest of you. She also seems to lack social awareness if she thinks it is OK to plaster her social life on social media.

How have you diagnosed that?

She might be a workshy selfish chancer, no one can tell

YANBU to be pissed off at the situation, take it up with HR as others have advised

LumpyandBumps · 19/04/2022 08:17

You have every right to be angry if you and your colleagues are being pressured to take on extra on call shifts, but your anger needs to be directed at management.
I can understand why you are frustrated with your colleague as her absence is directly affecting you, but the reasons for her absence and her actions whilst off are not relevant.
Your situation would be the same if she was absent due to treatment for a very serious physical condition about which you might be hugely sympathetic.
I don’t know how many of you are expected to cover the shortfall, but unless it is a large number it is probably not sustainable to do this within the team for an extended period.
It is a management issue and needs to be firmly placed there to be dealt with. That should also help them focus on the absence and if there is abuse it can be properly addressed.

Feelingoktoday · 19/04/2022 08:18

@Ilikewinter

Yep totally agree with you OP, ive worked with people before that constantly play the system whilst everyone else picks up the slack. Id block her on facebook and hope that your employer is dealing with her absence

Yep same here. As we get 6 months full pay people take the mick. Speak to HR and say the extra work and resentment in your team is causing your anxiety to spiral out of control and you are suffering from work related stress. They will jump.

carefullycourageous · 19/04/2022 08:18

@TweetTweetMF

If she's not to anxious to go out and enjoy herself on a near enough daily basis then she could clearly deal with being in work. She's a CF. I would write a complaint to your manager about the extra shifts.

This If she's not to anxious to go out and enjoy herself on a near enough daily basis then she could clearly deal with being in work is nonsense, but a commonly spread piece of nonsense.

AnneElliott · 19/04/2022 08:18

I agree with you op - but this is MN where any shitty behaviour at all is explained away with a diagnosis of something or other!

But your management sounds weak to allow this to continue. Can you speak to your line manager about the level of work you are left to complete?

Florenz · 19/04/2022 08:18

She needs to be sacked if she is literally never at work she isn't providing any use to the business or organization that you work for.

IcedOatLatte · 19/04/2022 08:19

@MrsLargeEmbodied

sickness should be private why is her sickness and reasons for it such public knowledge?

Have you never worked with anyone who happily discusses their medical issues with anyone who'll listen?

This comment always comes up and all I can think is that posters must have very different workplaces to any I've ever worked in

There's always been over sharers on all aspects of their life.

Feelingoktoday · 19/04/2022 08:20

This month I’ve had a staff member say they are too ill with anxiety to travel into the office and they have no strength. Yet went on a five mile walk at the weekend - all over FB. Why post on FB?

seriousandloyal · 19/04/2022 08:21

YANBU OP, this sort of thing is so annoying.

dudsville · 19/04/2022 08:21

She's unable to do this job and manage whatever's going on for her. I have a colleague like this. It was a large team so his work load could more easily be picked up, but we're now a quarter of our previous size and covering this work is impossible. He's about to return after a long absence and we're dreading it. I don't see how this can work when everyone's so frustrated about the situation.

notacooldad · 19/04/2022 08:21

You simply don’t know what is really happening. If she is genuinely a slacker it will eventually catch up with her.

However these reasons may be the ones told to you to cover what’s really going on. This has happened in our team. Everyone was pissed off with someone coming in and then being off for several weeks and moaned about it. Turns out it was serious and she died a 20 months later but didn’t want anyone to know she was so I’ll. Our bosses honoured her wish.
I’ve learned not to judge to much and only comment on things that directly affect me. I would mention work load but not bitch about colleague.

DrDreReturns · 19/04/2022 08:23

This sounds like a public sector organisation. You wouldn't be able to do that where I work now (in the private sector.)
I have worked in the public sector for a decade and knew a few people like this. It is terrible for the morale of the other staff who have to pick up the slack. There may have been other things going on behind the scenes but when someone literally comes in for a week and is then signed off sick for months again it makes you think it isn't being managed very well.

TheSnowyOwl · 19/04/2022 08:23

If she’s always off sick, she will either be fired at some point (regardless of what is wrong with her) or else somebody else will be brought in to permanently do her work.

Your best bet is to focus on yourself and start a formal grievance process about your workload being unsustainable so that they bring in someone else and then whether she is off sick or not, it won’t have any impact on your life.

PAFMO · 19/04/2022 08:24

@AnneElliott

I agree with you op - but this is MN where any shitty behaviour at all is explained away with a diagnosis of something or other!

But your management sounds weak to allow this to continue. Can you speak to your line manager about the level of work you are left to complete?

The OP says on other threads she herself is senior management.

As such (she has other posts with quite "unique" workplace situations detailed, I'd query the wisdom of starting threads on an open forum calling into question a colleague's mental health personnel record.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 19/04/2022 08:24

The FB parties are really rubbing your nose in it. I’d show them to my manager.

Dentistlakes · 19/04/2022 08:31

I have someone on my team who does this. It’s very difficult to manage as you’re constantly having to work out what they have (or more often than not, haven’t) done. Ours has gone on long term sick and will then be on maternity leave.
I’m rather hoping she doesn’t come back. If she does, I will be requesting she doesn’t work on any of my projects. I’ve taken the hit and she can make someone else’s life a misery for a change.

Your situation needs to be managed by HR. They need to implement a more sustainable plan rather than expecting you and your team to carry this person’s work long term. It’s ridiculous.

Florenz · 19/04/2022 08:32

Why on earth are people in the public sector allowed to take the piss like this? How does it benefit the tax paying public to have people on the public payroll who never come to work?

Whooshaagh · 19/04/2022 08:32

It’s always NHS. They couldn’t staff manage when I worked for them,
People who are genuinely ill usually have one period of sickness whether long or short.
The cf’s will have regular periods and will always manage to restrict themselves so they don’t go down to half pay.

Ime they also ‘copy’ other illnesses. If one person has a bug or cold they are dead certs to go down with the same.

There’s nothing you can do because the managers are doctors, nurses or scientists who have no idea how to manage staff.

One colleague began working in our department and within 6 weeks it was obvious she could never do the job. I was asked to give extra training when she should have been let go. 12 years later I’ve retired, she still works there and has probably worked for half of the 12 years if her hours are added up.
She was always ill in school holidays, always had a drama going on.
As pp above said just be thankful you’re not them!

JudgeJ · 19/04/2022 08:38

@BeerLoas

Your anger is completely misguided, you don’t know what’s going on with her underneath or the conversations with her GP. Maybe she’s actually off due to bullying?

But whether it’s real or not your issue is/should be with your line manager.

More likely she is playing the system! If she can't cope with the job she's being paid to do then do the honest thing and leave!

SassyBiblio · 19/04/2022 08:41

Whether her absences are genuine or not is between her and her line manager. There will be HR input into either a capability or a disciplinary assessment. But the impact on you and others in the team from the absences is genuine so I think you could reasonably raise that with your line manager based on your workload.

JudgeJ · 19/04/2022 08:41

@Florenz

Why on earth are people in the public sector allowed to take the piss like this? How does it benefit the tax paying public to have people on the public payroll who never come to work?

Because they can and little is done, if anything is said then it's 'bullying'. I had a colleague whose role involved wandering around from class to class, supposedly helping special needs pupils but usually not even taking her coat off, she didn't return after 7 weeks summer holiday because she felt stressed. This was then a pattern for years.

Mamabananananana · 19/04/2022 08:43

This is for management to deal with. You can absolutely take it to them. Show them the posts.

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