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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
FabFitFifties · 18/04/2022 15:50

She spoiled your flight, I imagine you felt very uncomfortable as a result of her behaviour. Don't waste anymore time thinking about it, is my advice.

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 15:50

How old was the child?!

GoBackToPartyCity · 18/04/2022 15:51

We’ve had this before and refused to move too. We had paid for the middle and aisle seat and a woman asked if we’d move so that she could sit across the aisle from her husband. She wasn’t impressed when we said no!

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2022 15:51

@123rd

We had to get a v last min flight (me & 2dc) we couldn't get three seats all together. Kids were next to each other. I was in front. The persons next to my kids offered to swap with me. I would NEVER ask them first. Was obviously very grateful You did nothing wrong
I bet that was self-preservation not generosity! Grin
lanbro · 18/04/2022 15:52

I usually book seats, last time we went very last minute and the only available seats to book were emergency exit seats which we couldn't book anyway as the kids are under 14. I'd prepped the dc that we were sitting nearby but not next to each other yet when we got to the airport jet2 had managed to get us all together, and the same on the way back.

But YANBU unreasonable to not move

Hawkins001 · 18/04/2022 15:52

@SoggyPaper

Yes I understand the issue of £22 but at the same time, it's a kind thing to do, assuming the person asking was genuine in the reasons for asking the op to swap, then based on good faith, I'd have swapped seats.

Antarcticant · 18/04/2022 15:52

I can understand 'de-bundling' when it comes to not paying for food etc, that you don't want, but choosing your own seats doesn't have an inherent cost to the airline so I agree with pp that the airline is at fault for using this as an excuse to winkle more money out of passengers.

Genevie82 · 18/04/2022 15:52

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!

comealongponds · 18/04/2022 15:53

YANBU

They should’ve paid like you did if they wanted seats together. They chose not to which is their problem not yours.

GCAcademic · 18/04/2022 15:53

@Hont1986

She offered to trade you two aisle seats for a window and a middle? I'd have bitten her hand off.

Still, if you didn't want to then no harm in refusing, and she should have accepted your no.

If the OP had wanted two aisle seats, she would have spent her £44 on booking them instead of the seats she actually chose.
newname12345 · 18/04/2022 15:54

@lickenchugget

I flew with tui last week; it’s made clear at booking that they cannot guarantee families will be seated together unless pre-booked - if it’s left until check in they may be across an aisle or behind each other. There are also reminder emails. The CF knew and didn’t pay. I agree that asking in itself is rude, it causes an atmosphere.
Didn't know TUI made it clear about splitting seats. We also flew with TUI last week and had pre-booked seats. I did look at moving our seats shortly a few days before our flight (to sit nearer to friends) though noticed there wasn't even a single pair of seats available to pre-book. So its possible the CF knew and had paid for the best seats she could get, or hadn't paid because she couldn't get suitable seats.
Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 15:54

Interestingly I’ve just checked in for flights on 5 and 12 May with Jet2. I refuse to pay to choose seats and let them allocate them - we’ve got window and middle next to each other.

BuanoKubiamVej · 18/04/2022 15:54

YANBU - and of course she was being unreasonable to ask. You had paid for a thing that you wanted. She wanted it too but hadn't paid for it. She thought she could just ask you to give up the thing you had paid for so that she could have it without paying. In what kind of crazy world is that a reasonable thing to ask for? Does she hang about outside supermarkets and ask people coming out with full trolleys if they could please let her have their trolley full of food so that she doesn't have to go in the shop and buy her own groceries? Does she accost people in pubs and ask them to hand over the drinks they have bought at the bar on the grounds that she is thirsty and they clearly have some drinks so please could they donate one to her? If not, why not?

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 15:55

@GoBackToPartyCity

We’ve had this before and refused to move too. We had paid for the middle and aisle seat and a woman asked if we’d move so that she could sit across the aisle from her husband. She wasn’t impressed when we said no!
But surely you were with partner or friend?!
Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 15:55

@Antarcticant

I can understand 'de-bundling' when it comes to not paying for food etc, that you don't want, but choosing your own seats doesn't have an inherent cost to the airline so I agree with pp that the airline is at fault for using this as an excuse to winkle more money out of passengers.
No inherent cost

But very good business sense

ilovesooty · 18/04/2022 15:56

@FabFitFifties

She spoiled your flight, I imagine you felt very uncomfortable as a result of her behaviour. Don't waste anymore time thinking about it, is my advice.
She was rude even to ask. There's no real need for anyone to feel guilty for refusing but inevitably some people do. Chancers like this woman exploit that.
Nanny0gg · 18/04/2022 15:56

@apricotlane

I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I'm nicer than I thought I was, and that's saying something!
Or you can afford to throw away £44
Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 15:56

And seeing as it’s a business and not a charity…

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 15:56

Some years ago while the plane was still on the ground, a couple behind me had one child in the middle seat and each had a lap child. The kids were shrill, shrieking and kicking the seat back. I asked the parent to stop the kicking and received a surly remark.

As the flight attendant went by, I gave her a beseeching look and jerked my head backward. After everyone was seated but before the plane pushed back, she told me to get my belongings and come with her. She led me to a completely empty emergency row. I had all three seats to myself plus about an extra foot of legroom!

I spent the entire flight lounging across all three seats, reading, with my back to the window and a glass (or three) of wine at hand. Each time those parents trudged past with one of their offspring to the lavatory, I gave them a wide smile.

If they hadn't been such entitled, inconsiderate jerks, it's likely that the extra seats would have been allocated to them. Instead they sat with their lap children, five people to three seats, the entire five hours. And my former seatmates got to spread out and enjoy the space I vacated.

JustLyra · 18/04/2022 15:58

I think it’s really rude.

The only time I’ve ever asked was when I had to book last minute when DD was offered a last minute cancellation hospital appointment (meant flying the next morning, but cut her waiting time by months). On the plane I asked the cabin crew to ask generally if anyone would swap and I would pay the fee. I had the cash with me, I would have paid but when we booked and checked in there was only single seats left.

Two teens from a family offered as it was only Ashley flight and they hadn’t actually paid to book seats all together anyway.

newname12345 · 18/04/2022 15:59

@Antarcticant

I can understand 'de-bundling' when it comes to not paying for food etc, that you don't want, but choosing your own seats doesn't have an inherent cost to the airline so I agree with pp that the airline is at fault for using this as an excuse to winkle more money out of passengers.
De-bundling seat selection allows the airlines to be able to advertise a lower basic cost for tickets, though obviously they know they will be able to upsell. Also though it does remove a 'cost' - it should reduce the amount of effort dealing with customers complaints about their allocated seats.
Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 15:59

It’s just possible she didn’t realise OP had paid - as I just pointed out, we haven’t paid for ours.

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2022 15:59

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

This should go in Classics as one of THE most ridiculous posts on MN ever.
Cryingintherain99 · 18/04/2022 16:01

I would have moved to let her sit next to her mum, but that doesn't mean you should have done. We all see things differently.
I would have just been thinking of how the child must be feeling being afraid of flying and needing her mum for comfort. I wouldn't have thought beyond that.

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 16:01

@Genevie82

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!
The child could look over her shoulder and see her mother, and speak to her, it's not as though she were in the cargo hold, or 15 rows away.

That's hardly an emergency worth disturbing strangers over.

When I fly with a partner we enjoy chatting, having a drink, looking at cloud formations, watching a film together. That's why we pay the premium.

Had the mother offered substantial payment as in, more than it cost the OP to book her choice of seats that's still rude but at least shows some effort on her part. But expecting a freebie is unbelievably entitled.