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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
Riverlee · 18/04/2022 15:33

You did nothing wrong. She should have paid.

Did you explain you had paid and reserved the seats?

CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 15:36

@LaurieFairyCake

Last time someone asked me this I said of course I would for the £40 I'd paid extra to sit together (loudly)

When she said 'why would I pay you for them' I said (again loudly) 'why would I give you £40 for free'

Lots of people smiling near me... Grin

Yes totally this.

We've just paid an extra £44 x 3 to sit together on our next flights, we once tried not paying up and just got scattered around the plane. I feel the airlines are taking the piss with the extra charge and you should just select the seats when booking as part of the process. Not as an extra fee.

But that's a lot of wine and nice meals I could have bought instead...

I do not agree with other PP who say it's reasonable for people to even ask. It's not reasonable. They are being CF and they know it. We all know how the system works.

123rd · 18/04/2022 15:36

We had to get a v last min flight (me & 2dc) we couldn't get three seats all together. Kids were next to each other. I was in front.
The persons next to my kids offered to swap with me. I would NEVER ask them first. Was obviously very grateful
You did nothing wrong

CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 15:36

@LaurieFairyCake

Last time someone asked me this I said of course I would for the £40 I'd paid extra to sit together (loudly)

When she said 'why would I pay you for them' I said (again loudly) 'why would I give you £40 for free'

Lots of people smiling near me... Grin

Yes totally this.

We've just paid an extra £44 x 3 to sit together on our next flights, we once tried not paying up and just got scattered around the plane. I feel the airlines are taking the piss with the extra charge and you should just select the seats when booking as part of the process. Not as an extra fee.

But that's a lot of wine and nice meals I could have bought instead...

I do not agree with other PP who say it's reasonable for people to even ask. It's not reasonable. They are being CF and they know it. We all know how the system works.

NippyWoowoo · 18/04/2022 15:36

I am very particular with where I sit. HAS to be an aisle, I don't care if the queen is asking, I won't be moving. When travelling solo I would only change seats if it were for another aisle, and I have done so before.

Simonjt · 18/04/2022 15:37

No, I wouldn’t have moved. Plus £22 isn’t a huge amount, so she clearly felt her daughters fear etc was worth a lot less than £22.

I did have someone in economy try to swap to my premium economy seat, it was quite a bit extra.

tiktokontheclock · 18/04/2022 15:37

Depends how old the daughter was but tbh if you want guaranteed seats, reserve them!

I hate it when people are tight just in case they get lucky when they chance it.

Hawkins001 · 18/04/2022 15:37

I understand your perspectives op, but if it was me, as long as I got to the destination, then I'd have swapped seats.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 18/04/2022 15:38

YANBU at all. She was fine to ask as she didn't know you'd paid but should absolutely have left it there.

LegMeChicken · 18/04/2022 15:38

YANBU. Refreshing to read about someone having a spine!

tiktokontheclock · 18/04/2022 15:38

@Simonjt

No, I wouldn’t have moved. Plus £22 isn’t a huge amount, so she clearly felt her daughters fear etc was worth a lot less than £22.

I did have someone in economy try to swap to my premium economy seat, it was quite a bit extra.

What?! Absurd! What is the background?
lickenchugget · 18/04/2022 15:39

I flew with tui last week; it’s made clear at booking that they cannot guarantee families will be seated together unless pre-booked - if it’s left until check in they may be across an aisle or behind each other. There are also reminder emails. The CF knew and didn’t pay. I agree that asking in itself is rude, it causes an atmosphere.

Clymene · 18/04/2022 15:39

@Hawkins001

I understand your perspectives op, but if it was me, as long as I got to the destination, then I'd have swapped seats.
Why?

The OP wanted to sit next to her boyfriend so chose and paid for her seats. Why would she move for another passenger who had chosen not to do that? Confused

feellikeanalien · 18/04/2022 15:40

DD and I are going abroad for the first time in many years. One of the first things I did was book seats together. DD has SN and if we weren't sat together she would be inconsolable.

I would never dream of not paying extra and expecting someone else to give up their seat for me. That smacks of entitlement.

SoggyPaper · 18/04/2022 15:41

@Hawkins001

I understand your perspectives op, but if it was me, as long as I got to the destination, then I'd have swapped seats.
Why?

It’s made abundantly obvious at booking that, if you want to sit next to someone, you pay for the seat.

Presumably you don’t care so wouldn’t have paid £22 extra each. But anyone who has paid clearly does care.

Simonjt · 18/04/2022 15:41

@tiktokontheclock What do you mean what is the background?

JamieFrasersBitOnTheSide · 18/04/2022 15:43

@Simonjt

No, I wouldn’t have moved. Plus £22 isn’t a huge amount, so she clearly felt her daughters fear etc was worth a lot less than £22.

I did have someone in economy try to swap to my premium economy seat, it was quite a bit extra.

We had this flying to Mexico. For some reason there was no cabin crew at the door and when we got to our premium economy seats folk from the same seat numbers in economy were sitting in ours! They weren’t happy when the cabin crew had to intervene as they were refusing to move.
CandyflossKid · 18/04/2022 15:44

We always pay to sit next to each other so there's no way I would have moved (having been very travel sick on a flight home once, I wouldn't want anyone sitting next to me other than dh - which is why we pay the extra)

ThinWomansBrain · 18/04/2022 15:45

Often, if you’re on a bus etc and 2 adults are seated together and an adult and child gets on, one will offer to switch so the child can sit with parent. That’s quite normal, but different to here as you’d paid.
Bloody irritating - when I was a child, wasn't allowed to sit down on a bus if adults were standing.
Had some cheeky CF expecting me to stand up (from a priority seat) so that she could sit down next to young-teen-looking child the other day.

Airplane seats - I might acquiesce if I had,t paid extra for my choice of seat, definitely not if I'd paid.

Mrsherdwick · 18/04/2022 15:45

@Simonjt - we need the full story!! Please.

toastofthetown · 18/04/2022 15:46

It's only ever seats as well. Meals have been taken out of budget air travel as well as seat selection, but it would be unthinkable for someone who had ordered a meal in advance to have it taken by someone whose child was hungry. And the prebooked seats probably cost more than the meal!

CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 15:47

@apricotlane

I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I'm nicer than I thought I was, and that's saying something!

@apricotlane - really? If you'd paid £44 extra for the seats?

What if you were out with a friend for dinner, they said they'd just have water and you'd ordered a bottle of wine, then they said, "well perhaps just a glass!"

Then you had a pudding, they didn't. And when yours arrived they said, "actually that looks really tasty, can I have your pudding?"
You hand it over...

Then the bill comes and they say, Oh well you ordered the pudding and wine, so let's add this on to your share and split the difference...

More convoluted, same thing really.
It's just if that's your actual friend you may want to give them something more than to a complete stranger!

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 15:48

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

Oh, please.

People also are allowed to judge entitled, chancer parents who are too cheap or too disorganized to plan their journey properly.

And yes, I value my hard-earned holiday money more than a stranger's child's feelings.

NorthSouthcatlady · 18/04/2022 15:48

She was either too tight or disorganised to pay for seat together. Not your problem. I wouldn’t have moved either

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2022 15:50

@SummerHouse

I would have swapped. What an awkward flight! You were totally not unreasonable not to though and she was rude to pressure you. As you say, you paid to sit together. But I would have swapped for the daughter, not her rude mother.
So you would just have given away £44 for no good reason (if the daughter genuinely had a problem the mother should have paid)

Sod that