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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
thedefinitionofmadness · 18/04/2022 15:01

Its fine of her to ask - perhaps some mishap by airline or lack of planning on her part.
Way out of order to strop when you declined.
And she should have asked the cabin crew who might have been able to facilitate rather than be unpleasant.
I would have said "No, I'm sorry we can't we paid an extra £44 to be seated together because I am a very nervous flyer".

edwinbear · 18/04/2022 15:02

10hrs not 10yrs (although he’d be happy with 10yrs tbf)

starfishmummy · 18/04/2022 15:02

@Georgeskitchen

I would have moved.......for 44 quid 😉
Nah, a round £50!!!
thedefinitionofmadness · 18/04/2022 15:02

But as pp said - when did it come to them nickel and diming it so much that you have to pay for a seat/air/drink of water/hand luggage etc etc

boringperson123 · 18/04/2022 15:03

Odd that TUI didn’t seat them together as they’ve always seated me with my partner despite not paying, so that means not only did the woman not pay for seats, she probably checked in too late as well and depended on taking advantage of someone else.

Yanbu

Countdownis35 · 18/04/2022 15:05

I often fly with TUI. They are always making mistakes with seats. I have no idea why mother and child are not placed together because often TUI swop people round anyway for a child.

Twentypast · 18/04/2022 15:06

@thedefinitionofmadness

But as pp said - when did it come to them nickel and diming it so much that you have to pay for a seat/air/drink of water/hand luggage etc etc
It's called unbundling. Air fares have come down so now people only pay for what they want or what's important.
LactoseTheIntolerant · 18/04/2022 15:07

Yanbu, something very similar happened to me very recently too. Although my CF had already sat in our seats (extra, legroom that we'd paid for) claiming she needed to be next to her child. Despite meaning if we moved we wouldn't be next to our own children! We actually had to get the steward to sort it out as she was making a song and dance about it. In the end she had to sit in her allocated seat and said child (must have been at least 12)was absolutely fine - probably quite relieved to have some peace and quiet!

toastofthetown · 18/04/2022 15:08

@thedefinitionofmadness

But as pp said - when did it come to them nickel and diming it so much that you have to pay for a seat/air/drink of water/hand luggage etc etc
When flying became less of an event and consumers wanted to fly more frequently so cared more about the price than the service. I like the 'nickel and diming'. I don't want food and drink on board. I don't care if I'm sitting alone or with the people I'm travelling with. I've travelled with a backpack before and not needed a suitcase. Being able to pay for the parts which I need and leave the parts I don't suits me just fine.

I wonder how this would play out if the airlines set it up as a discount for not choosing your seat rather than a fee for choosing it.

DrSbaitso · 18/04/2022 15:08

She's got the right to ask, you've got the right to say no.

ilovesooty · 18/04/2022 15:09

@thedefinitionofmadness

Its fine of her to ask - perhaps some mishap by airline or lack of planning on her part. Way out of order to strop when you declined. And she should have asked the cabin crew who might have been able to facilitate rather than be unpleasant. I would have said "No, I'm sorry we can't we paid an extra £44 to be seated together because I am a very nervous flyer".
She didn't need to explain why she'd paid extra for reserved seats.
Roselilly36 · 18/04/2022 15:09

YANBU absolutely ridiculous that people who are too tight to book seats , then expect everyone else to accommodate them. We flew home on Xmas Eve once, it was a shambles, took off late as passengers refused to sit down as they wanted to sit with family etc. No way would I have moved. The plane was packed, not a spare seat on the aircraft.

Bootothegoose · 18/04/2022 15:10

Yanbu she was hugely unreasonable to ask.

I hate the mentality that she thought you would move 'because she has a child'. She should have paid if her daughter is scared of flying. I don't suppose she offered you the £20 it cost to book the seats did she?

ilovesooty · 18/04/2022 15:10

@thedefinitionofmadness

But as pp said - when did it come to them nickel and diming it so much that you have to pay for a seat/air/drink of water/hand luggage etc etc
When basic, no frills travelling was introduced.
Staffy1 · 18/04/2022 15:11

She could have asked the person sitting next to her daughter to move. They might not have minded too much if they were in the middle with the chance to move to an aisle seat.

JaninaDuszejko · 18/04/2022 15:12

Last time we flew with the DC we were not given seats with the DC. When we got on the plane the air hostess told us we had to have an adult with each child (we have 3DC and were given 2 pairs and a single seat) and moved people so we could sit together. Although, to be fair, the people they moved were still sitting together once moved.

Longingforatikihut · 18/04/2022 15:13

As PP said. I'd have offered to swap for reimbursement of what you paid for choosing your seat and the cost of an alcoholic drink for each on you on the flight( to calm your nerves).

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/04/2022 15:13

We specially paid extra so we would be sat together

Pity (for her) that she didn't bother to do the same then, and that's why you weren't BU

Have to say your thread's made my day though - you can tell things are getting back to normal when ones like this appear Grin

RobotValkyrie · 18/04/2022 15:13

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable.
You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

thedefinitionofmadness · 18/04/2022 15:13

yeah, thanks, @Twentypast, I know what it is but it makes it unpleasant and its not actually cheaper, not that I really think its ethical to keep flying very much anyway. Discount for not using it would be better as @toastofthetown suggests. Then entitled huffy parents would have no grounds for said huffage.

ExMachinaDeus · 18/04/2022 15:13

She wasn’t unreasonable to ask

But she did more than ask. She argued with the OP and seemed not to want to take No for an answer.

apricotlane · 18/04/2022 15:14

I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I'm nicer than I thought I was, and that's saying something!

RosesAndHellebores · 18/04/2022 15:14

I'd have called the flight attendant "can you help this lady please, she wants to be seated with her child. I am a nervous passenger and need to be next to my partner and that's why we paid for our allocated seats." Had I not paid for seats I'd have been happy to move as I'm not nervous on a flight.

Cervinia · 18/04/2022 15:14

This comes up every single year. The general answer is usually, you want to sit together you pay. If you choose not to pay you take your chances.

I wouldn't have moved either. And if she had made me seem unreasonable I would have offered her your seats for £44 and made sure she knew that you had paid £44 for them.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/04/2022 15:15

I don't suppose she offered you the £20 it cost to book the seats did she?

Very funny - is it really likely someone taking this entitled attitude would have offered?

It might have been worth asking her though, if only for the catsbum face Wink