Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

Agree with you - had a similar experience last week on Tui flight: because if a family who hadn’t booked seats and were to be split up. We’d paid and booked seats together (aisle and middle) as I have a torn knee cartilage and anxiety (both with medical evidence to support). Senior cabin crew asked us if we could move - I didn’t really want to. The passengers around us (a group of 20 somethings) started making accusatory comments so I felt embarrassed. I told the cabin crew member that I had no choice as everyone was looking at me - she went off and made a tannoy announcement, asking if two people would move: funnily enough, no-one offered (not even the judgemental 20 something group!). My husband felt obligated so offered - turns out it was the seat in front of me so this was bewildering. Felt the whole issue was mishandled and miscommunicated. I felt humiliated- the whole flight was a miserable experience.What’s the point of paying for and booking seats if TUI can move you? Won’t be flying TUI again.

That’s an awful experience @Gettingoldandgrumpy.

Have you contacted TUI to tell them how it felt to be made into the villain and shamed on a flight because of how the cabin crew handled a situation where some customers just hadn’t booked seats?

The company clearly can do more to make it clear that families who want to sit next to each other have to book seats together. And to discourage any of this opportunistic seat swapping on the plane.

it’s disruptive to other customers. It’s almost certainly delays boarding.

it might be much better to train the cabin crew to discourage seat swapping and to explain to families who didn’t book that other customers have chosen their seats and are entitled to sit in them. They should not be subjected to guilt tripping and inconvenience at the start or end of their holiday because other passengers have chosen not to book seats together.

families are not the only or the most important customers. They aren’t the only group with seating needs or requirements. The system allows everyone to choose their own seats if they want to (at cost). And the system allows people to see that they’re unlikely to get seats together before they even book.

thing is, it’s a charter flight most people havd bought as part of a package holiday. Pretty much everyone is travelling in groups of 2 or more. It’s not like the kinds of scheduled flights that are full of lone business travellers etc.

if you ask someone else to move, you are almost certainly asking them not to sit with their family or friends so you can sit with yours instead. That’s really arrogant and dismissive of them.

just book seats if you aren’t willing to sit in a different row to your child.

Thanks SoggyPaper - I have raised this with TUI but the standard response is that it will take 14-28 days to reply. Blah blah.

I too think it’s fairly obvious that if you want to sit together (family, kids or couples, friends - whatever), then you have to pay: you have to pay on all the U.K. flight carriers (EasyJet, Ryanair, TUI etc) as well as many international. This has been the case for quite some years now - before Covid! I If you don’t pay, you have to take pot luck on seats - thought everyone knew that! I am willing to pay the extra (in this case £44) because of my med needs - clearly TUI put more value on families than medical issues.

We did get some free drinks but this in no way made up for the shame and humiliation …

I can’t get over people who sit in seats that they know aren’t theirs when they board, in the hope that either they’ll be unoccupied or that the person will swap once they reach the seats. Height of CF-ery.

This happened to me on a flight very recently. I was among the last to board as I had booked special assistance and there was a delay getting us to the plane; as a result my DH was also among the last group to be bussed to the plane. When I reached my seat there was a woman sat in it! I think I was surprised more than anything & blurted out ‘That’s my seat!’. She then asked if she could have the one next to me, which I said was to be occupied by my husband. To be fair she moved without much complaint but on reflection, I became more annoyed that someone could be so brazen. Asking to move when everyone is on board, sure, or after takeoff when it’s clear which seats are empty, also sure. But deliberately occupying seats you know aren’t yours, knowing it could likely cause a scene when the ‘owners’ turn up… pure grabby entitlement. Have seen it mentioned a few times on this thread.

@FlySwimmer we had similar once. Flight was delayed, DD fell asleep so I waited until the end to board rather than standing in the queue for ages holding a sleeping 5yo. Got on the plane, with her and my 6yo and the group of adults sitting in our seats asked me if I couldn't just sit in their scattered seats instead... Fortunately they realised quickly that that was a pretty stupid thing to say to a mother with two small children (and yes, I had prebooked! ))

@Aroundtheworldin80moves Unbelievable. Just pure twattery. As others said, it’s like planes bring out the absolute worst in people.

In my case, I was using a crutch, and had boarded with all the ‘oldies’ (my fellow special assistance people’s self-description! They were all so lovely) so probably this woman felt she couldn’t create any fuss. She went back what I assume was her assigned seat, which seemed to be a middle in a row of four.

I'd have moved if it was a small child. Ryanair make you book seats if your child is under 12.

If someone has a young child, I'd move anyway as I'm sure as hell a 3 year old would get right on my wick. Likewise, if someone wouldn't swap for me, I'd let them put up with the tetchy preschooler and let my child get on with her whinging.

Likewise, if someone wouldn't swap for me, I'd let them put up with the tetchy preschooler and let my child get on with her whinging.

Is that not neglect? Social Services might be interested in behaviour like that from a parent. If someone left me (a stranger) to put up with their kid in public, I'd get as much personal info as I could out of the kid, then report to SS.

Maybe other airlines should force you to reserve an adult seat next to the child seats (you get up to 4 free child seats) like Ryanair. It would be better than this situation where people don’t book and still expect everyone else to accommodate them.

tbh, the comment about your tetchy preschooler is exactly the kind of problematic attitude so many parents seem to display on planes. You know you’ve got a tetchy small child. Instead of making arrangements to ensure that your grumpy little person causes minimal disruption to the people around you, you think that they should have to move to accommodate your lack of planning and organisation (and attempts to save money). If they don’t move where you want them to, you’ll punish them by not being there to actually look after the child you knew full well you should have booked to make sure you would be sitting next to.

At what point do you think it might be appropriate to not expect the whole world to revolve around you?

We’d paid and booked seats together (aisle and middle) as I have a torn knee cartilage and anxiety (both with medical evidence to support). Senior cabin crew asked us if we could move - I didn’t really want to. The passengers around us (a group of 20 somethings) started making accusatory comments so I felt embarrassed. I told the cabin crew member that I had no choice as everyone was looking at me - she went off and made a tannoy announcement, asking if two people would move: funnily enough, no-one offered (not even the judgemental 20 something group!)

That's quite appalling. Looks like they picked on a middle-aged woman as an 'easy' target. Interesting that they didn't go to the 20-something group. Did you explain about your temporary mobility problem? You shouldn't have to, but it would have shut everyone up.

This is why I never fly on package holidays, or with charter-stye airlines.

That was what the mum who did this to me thought, too. I stuck my headphones in and ignored them both. The only person not getting riled up was me. I hope that whoever you do this to does similarly.

I know a lot of people think this is such an “oh snap!” moment but plenty of us have no qualms about ignoring your kvetchy child, especially since you didn’t care enough to book the seats you need.

Likewise, if someone wouldn't swap for me, I'd let them put up with the tetchy preschooler and let my child get on with her whinging.

That's a pretty cunt-like attitude on your part. Book your seats so you don't need to ask to swap.

Likewise, if someone wouldn't swap for me, I'd let them put up with the tetchy preschooler and let my child get on with her whinging.

Fine if you don't mind your little darling being ignored for the duration of the flight. People like you need to realise your kid isn't their problem and book seats accordingly.

Fine with me. I have headphones and no responsibility to random preschoolers.

Your tetchy child is no one else’s problem but yours. I would stick headphones in and ignore any whining. If they started hitting etc I would call flight attendant and ask them to get the child’s parent to deal with them.

Why should anyone else be inconvenienced by your bad choice not to prebook seats?

Another one where this happened at the weekend. Niece went to her seat to find someone sat in it with a sob story about how her mother was blind and needed someone sat with her. My niece didn't mind moving but if that's the reason then you pay to sit together. It's CFy at its finest!

Likewise, if someone wouldn't swap for me, I'd let them put up with the tetchy preschooler and let my child get on with her whinging.

Just coming back to this because I am genuinely shocked at your attitude towards your preschooler's safety. You know sex offenders get on planes too? Yet you won't pay £22 to avoid the risk of your preschooler sitting next to one 🤷‍♀️

@LouB76 Oh I never said I don't pay for seats. I do.

It's just I think it's pretty shitty of someone not to move, I would because its the nice thing to do.

It would also be nice if someone bought me a coffee on the plane. Doesn’t mean they have any obligation to.

Not sure how it’s shitty to sit in the seat you’ve paid for/been allocated. Surely more shitty to expect people to move to accommodate their disorganisation or stinginess.

Nobody is shitty for not inconveniencing themselves because someone else didn’t plan ahead/didn’t want to pay extra/any other excuse. The shitty ones here are the entitled parents

But I really don’t think people are being shitty as you put it.

Why should other people be inconvenienced and the equivalent of out of pocket by moving at the request of others who have not paid to select their seats?

Everyone is offered this option to pay and select seats. If people choose to not do this, surely it’s then somewhat unreasonable to request that others move who have paid an additional charge and voluntarily give a stranger something for free that has a cost implication that the other person refused to pay for?

Definitely not shitty behaviour to expect to get something you have paid for.

Most people want to sit with their family or friends that they are travelling with. The majority of those people pay extra to be seated together.

Other people choose to not pay extra, but try to guilt trip/bully others into moving so they can sit with their family or friends. They are the ones with the shitty behaviour.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10732065/amp/Woman-paid-44-plane-seat-refused-mother-child.html?fr=operanews

😂

I actually don’t think it is the nice thing to do. It creates an expectation that they never have to pay for seats because there’ll always be someone who can be guilted into giving up theirs to be “nice”. The nice thing to do is to teach the parent that they and only they are responsible for the welfare of their child, and to take it seriously. Leaving the child at the mercy of other people is not kind, and that’s what parents who do this are doing when they bank on being able to coerce people out of a seat they’ve paid for.

It’s exactly why the mum I refused felt justified in calling me a bitch - she’d grown to expect to be able to just take someone else’s seat. Any person who’d done it to “be kind” in the past contributed to the situation I was faced with when I refused.

Tbh, the equivalent is demanding that someone else on the plane to give you the coffee they just bought because you have decided that you deserve or need it more than them. They can just have the small cup of water the airline is giving out for free instead. You, after all, are more thirsty so you should get the coffee even though you weren’t willing to pay for it.