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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
whumpthereitis · 20/04/2022 14:05

Blossomtoes · 20/04/2022 12:56

So she should have had a crystal ball and known that seat selection was filling up fast? What would contacting the airline achieve? It couldn’t magic up the seats she wanted if they’d all gone.

Show quote history

No, but that’s her problem. Not anyone else’s. She tried to make it OP’s and got annoyed when OP wouldn’t solve it for. That’s where she’s unreasonable.

Babyvenusplant · 20/04/2022 14:09

Trudij123 · 18/04/2022 14:34

She wasn’t unreasonable to ask and you weren’t unreasonable to say no.

I’m not sure it’s as easy as that though - don’t you have to sit where your ticket says so you can be identified if there’s an accident? ( might have made that up though - but it’s just popped into my head) have a great time!!

If there's an accident it's highly unlikely you'll still be in your seat

SoggyPaper · 20/04/2022 14:09

Blossomtoes · 20/04/2022 12:56

So she should have had a crystal ball and known that seat selection was filling up fast? What would contacting the airline achieve? It couldn’t magic up the seats she wanted if they’d all gone.

Show quote history

You don’t pay extra to sit together. You do it to select particular seats in advance. You select the seats before check out.

So either she:


  • didn’t even try to book specified seats, or

  • she saw that there were no available seats together and chose to book the flight in the knowledge they wouldn’t be seated next to each other.


In either case, she was not putting her daughter’s supposed need to sit next to her first. Was she?

The CAA policy of seating children near an adult applies only if you don’t bother to select your own seat.

Blossomtoes · 20/04/2022 14:24

she saw that there were no available seats together and chose to book the flight in the knowledge they wouldn’t be seated next to each other

You can’t see what seats are available before you book a TUI flight.

KimikosNightmare · 20/04/2022 14:38

From The Daily Record

But one piped up: “I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I’m nicer than I thought I was and that’s saying something!”

Who said that? I feel the same !

CorsicaDreaming · 20/04/2022 14:43

@KimikosNightmare

From The Daily Record

But one piped up: “I would have quite happily moved. This thread is making me think I’m nicer than I thought I was and that’s saying something!”

Who said that? I feel the same !

...LOL

I challenged that PP on that one 😆

CorsicaDreaming · 20/04/2022 14:52

@KimikosNightmare - I think PPs should earn commission for that article, we basically wrote it!

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-blasted-being-rude-asking-26749661

SockFluffInTheBath · 20/04/2022 14:58

Absolutely! Is there some way MNHQ can make copying this stuff chargeable? Might make the bone idle hacks actually do a bit…

SoggyPaper · 20/04/2022 15:20

Blossomtoes · 20/04/2022 14:24

she saw that there were no available seats together and chose to book the flight in the knowledge they wouldn’t be seated next to each other

You can’t see what seats are available before you book a TUI flight.

How on earth do you imagine they facilitate people
selecting their own seats as part of the booking then?

I’ve just had a look on tui, and absolutely you can see what seats are available. You click on the I want to choose my own seats button and you can see what seats are available.

just as you can with any airline that offers seat reservations at extra cost.

you can check the seating in advance of buying the tickets. I haven’t booked a holiday to kos, but I know where I could sit if I did.

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?
Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?
SoggyPaper · 20/04/2022 15:23

Which is to say, the woman clearly knew there was a risk the airline would sit her daughter near rather than next to her. And she decided not to pay to reserve specific seats. .

Greeneyedminx · 20/04/2022 16:50

My husband is very tall, I am the complete opposite,
when we fly we always book and pay for extra leg room seats, so that he can actually get into his seat and sit down without wrapping his legs around the seat in front.
The last time we flew, a fellow passenger told me he would be sitting in my seat as he was also tall, I wasn’t and didn’t need any extra leg room!!
His seat was a middle seat a few rows back.
I explained that I had paid extra to sit in my seat and wouldn’t be moving for anyone. He stated that I was being unreasonable, it was only a seven hour flight and I should just move pronto!! There was quite a lot of colourful language accompanying his request/order to move.
I asked if he would be willing to reimburse me the £35 I had paid, he said he’d buy me a drink if necessary and that would be it. So, I said I’d be remaining in my seat regardless.
The air steward came to see what the hold up was as he was blocking the aisle, this gentleman asked him to remove me asap so he could sit in comfort, and that they should reserve all extra leg room seats for tall people, not short arses!
The air steward asked him to return to his seat or leave the aircraft, and if he was bothered by extra leg room seats, then in future maybe he should pay to reserve one.
This gentleman kept arguing his point asking him to physically remove me so he could sit down where he felt he belonged!!
He was given a minute to return to his seat, shut up or be off loaded along with the rest of his group, who had also come along to tell me to shift it!
He eventually returned to his seat, and once the flight was under way, we were given free drinks and snacks for the inconvenience!!
My DH had asked him to shut up and return to his seat several times, which obviously didn’t calm the situation down any.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 17:34

Too true

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 17:34

Sooty - quote failure!!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 17:35

Sorry, not Sooty (FFS)

jamimmi · 20/04/2022 17:59

We had this recently with DH and I on a flight. Woman asked me to move as we were a couple.and she needed to sit with her child.( approx 15 ). We declined and she became quite aggressive. Untill the stewardess came and shifted her. What's not obvious is my husband is sight impaired and needs to sit with a companion to fly. The airlines jet 2 in this case always pre book our seats for free due to this when we ring for airport assistance. People need to plan if they need to sir together

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 18:57

Gwenhwyfar · 18/04/2022 20:36

When I was asked to move seats, I did so VERY reluctantly.
I was travelling alone and hadn't paid for my own booked seats, but moving was a hassle because if you're one of the last people there's often no room in the overhead locker and your bag has to not be right next to you.
I had just presumed I'd be picked on by the other passengers if I said no to the parents of small children though so I moved.
I'd be interested to know, how I should deal with it next time.

@Gwenhwyfar - I have practised a brief and with a slightly abrupt / surprised tone the following: ‘actually, yes, I DO mind moving’ and the. I return to reading / looking at my screen etc.. any follow up is met by: ‘I’m sport, you’ll need to speak to tbe steward[ess] 🤷🏼‍♀️‘

IT WORKS!!!!!!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 18:57

< I’m SORRY, not I’m SPORT >

🙄

AbleCable · 20/04/2022 19:17

Moneysaving Expert has a very helpful article on how the various airlines allocate their seating, and what their child travel policies are. Also what the different airlines charge for selecting seats and which ones allow you to select for free.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/airline-seating/

rainbowmilk · 20/04/2022 19:26

myrtleWilson · 19/04/2022 17:13

My favourite ever response to a thread similar to this (years ago) was a poster who went beyond "be kind" and insisted it was an adult's duty to swop seats with a younger person and that undertaking this duty would give oneself a sense of joy as one watched the young whippersnapper observing the magic of clouds in the sky. I wish I could recall the poster's name - I think it had "nanny" or "joy" in it t'was a dutiful delight to read their posts..

TheCatsMeow.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2548189-to-ask-someone-to-move-their-child-out-of-my-plane-seat

rainbowmilk · 20/04/2022 19:32

Ahhh. The plane seat threads are back. Nature is healing.

I once refused to swap the seat I’d paid for and a mum had to sit across from her young child. She was furious and called me a stuck up bitch. Then, whenever the child had an issue with something (which was every three seconds) she’d tell him to ask “the mean lady” next to him as I was now responsible for him. I put headphones on and pretended to be asleep for the duration.

Nothing brings out the entitlement like planes.

ilovesooty · 20/04/2022 20:02

rainbowmilk · 20/04/2022 19:26

Show quote history

She had a thread about accommodating her baby's needs on a train too, if I remember rightly.

plzjuslemesleep · 20/04/2022 20:05

Yanbu

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/04/2022 20:27

BeerLoas · 19/04/2022 06:37

You’d have to be living under a rock or have not read ANY details on the web or gazillion emails you get sent before a flight to not know how seating works these days. Very much doubt they booked on the phone and no one told them, upselling opportunity missed and frankly they’d be the only people alive to speak to a real TUI member of staff - it’s like the Wonky Factory.

E x a c t l y

Shitandhills · 20/04/2022 21:15

@rainbowmilk what, so the mum was in the aisle seat, kid in the aise seat opposite and you in the middle seat next to the kid? Why didn't you want to switch with the mum? Were you sitting next to someone you knew in the window seat or something?

rainbowmilk · 21/04/2022 00:13

Shitandhills · 20/04/2022 21:15

@rainbowmilk what, so the mum was in the aisle seat, kid in the aise seat opposite and you in the middle seat next to the kid? Why didn't you want to switch with the mum? Were you sitting next to someone you knew in the window seat or something?

Plane was a 2-4-2. I had booked the window seat, as I like it and usually sleep. Kid was in the aisle seat next to me and mum was in the first of the 4 middle seats across the aisle. Mum wanted me to swap my window seat for her seat. I didn’t want an aisle seat and I’d paid not to have one. 🤷🏻‍♀️