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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
Kassalah · 18/04/2022 21:13

Heck no, I obsessively plan and book for our seats way in advance.

Mrsmch123 · 18/04/2022 21:13

@girlmom21 well not really. If you want something pay for it. Just because you have children doesn't mean you should get something that everyone else has to pay for🤷🏻‍♀️

TheBigPeach · 18/04/2022 21:22

We had similar happen recently at the cinema, the seats I had selected were near the back. A woman and her two children were in our seats when we arrived and she really didn’t want to move. She was not impressed when I didn’t cave and say we’ll just sit in your seats (which were down at the front) and I got plenty of disapproving looks from people around us.

AuditAngel · 18/04/2022 21:27

I have been asked to move numerous times.

On one occasion a mother and grandmother were travelling with 8nfan5 twins. I was asked to move from an aisle seat to a middle seat about 5 rows forward. I didn’t mind sitting away from my husband, but8had paid for an aisle seat and am not prepared to take a middle seat in exchange.

I have been asked to move so a parent could sit across the aisle from their children and the other parent. I refused on the grounds that it would have meant my younger children sitting with neither parent whilst their teens already had one parent.

I also had a very obnoxious middle seat passenger (think steroid assisted bodybuilder) think I should give up my aisle seat for his middle seat. Good luck with that.

I pay for a seat of my choosing.

I have, in the past been sat in the row in front of my children, but was unable to swap as we allocated the emergency exit row. My son was happy with his sisters, although emergencies didworry me.

whumpthereitis · 18/04/2022 21:40

I wouldn’t have swapped either. If it was so important that they sat together then she should have paid to select the seats. That she didn’t is a ‘her’ problem it’s not on you to solve.

She could be as grumpy as she likes. That’s the point you put headphones on, zone the fuck out, and let her get on with it.

SoggyPaper · 18/04/2022 21:52

The thing is that if I hadn't agreed to move so that the father could sit with his wife and child, I would have been stuck with the wife and child possibly giving me dirty looks or being nasty all through the flight so I sort of felt like I had no choice anyway.
That's why the lady in the OP is unreasonable to even ask I think.

It’s unfortunate that some people are dicks and use the fact that you’ll be stuck next to them in a confined space to get away with cheeky fuckery.

I’d have brazened it out next to the arsehole family. Stuck my headphones on and ignored them. Probably actually challenged any overtly nasty shit.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/04/2022 21:53

"I’d have brazened it out next to the arsehole family. Stuck my headphones on and ignored them. Probably actually challenged any overtly nasty shit."

That would have just stressed me out for my holiday.

Clymene · 18/04/2022 21:55

@Pointblank2

I think a lot of people on here are presuming that the passengers book direct on airline/tour operators website direct where I agree it does make it absolutely clear that you have to pay to sit together. How many book via a third party who create a ‘package’ but don’t advise of all the add ons. I’ve come across this with low cost airlines where people genuinely weren’t told
It was a TUI flight.
SoggyPaper · 18/04/2022 22:07

@Gwenhwyfar

"I’d have brazened it out next to the arsehole family. Stuck my headphones on and ignored them. Probably actually challenged any overtly nasty shit."

That would have just stressed me out for my holiday.

Probably.

At this point in my life, I give no shits about arseholes on planes though. What are they actually going to do?

If they let the kid be a pain in the arse, then everyone in the vicinity hates them anyway - not just me. If they make comments, they’re surrounded by people who actually paid for their seats who think they’re dicks. If they cause trouble, the cabin crew can be bloody fierce if they need to be.

I was once on a tui flight to Rhodes from Glasgow. There was a group of pissed neds off to sunburn themselves, destroy their livers and generally be annoying somewhere on the island towards the back of the plane. As you’d imagine, the plane was awash with families.

When it came time to land (and the cabin crew had to take their seats), one of the neds started shouting really loudly ‘here we, here we fucking go!’ Over and over again. I think the deluded fool thought people would join in with him. They didn’t. The instant the crew were able to get out if their seats two of them rushed at him and absolutely bollocked him in extremely strong Glasgow accents (with the added threat that their word is law on a plane). It was a huge change in both tone from how they’d been throughout the flight - customer service to taking no shit mode.

The cabin crew got a cheer from the other passengers for sorting out the idiot.

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 22:14

@SoggyPaper

The thing is that if I hadn't agreed to move so that the father could sit with his wife and child, I would have been stuck with the wife and child possibly giving me dirty looks or being nasty all through the flight so I sort of felt like I had no choice anyway. That's why the lady in the OP is unreasonable to even ask I think.

It’s unfortunate that some people are dicks and use the fact that you’ll be stuck next to them in a confined space to get away with cheeky fuckery.

I’d have brazened it out next to the arsehole family. Stuck my headphones on and ignored them. Probably actually challenged any overtly nasty shit.

They could give dirty looks till their eyes popped out of their heads, for all I'd care. I'd be immersed in a book, podcast or film, enjoying my wine. The flight attendant would be summoned if any other attempts to irritate me (encroaching on my space, etc.) ensued.

Agree that the person in the OP was very unreasonable to ask, but fear of her response to "No" should not motivate people to switch. The correct response to "No" is "OK, thank you for your time; sorry to disturb you."

Dnaltocs · 18/04/2022 22:38

I think I’d have moved. There could have been many reasons why she hadn’t booked an adjoining seat.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/04/2022 22:42

No harm her asking, but fair enough that you said no.

FairyCakeWings · 18/04/2022 23:51

Funny how the people who think it’s ok to ask others to swap seats never seem to offer to pay back the booking cost that they’re expected to sacrifice.

girlmom21 · 19/04/2022 01:56

[quote Mrsmch123]@girlmom21 well not really. If you want something pay for it. Just because you have children doesn't mean you should get something that everyone else has to pay for🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
The fact you think a young child should be left of their own because a parent doesn't have an extra £20pp or doesn't even know there's a seat-choosing service available is weird AF. Train companies manage to allocate everyone a seat when they book all by themselves.

silentpool · 19/04/2022 02:03

I only move if I am offered an equivalent seat. I usually book an aisle so will not move for a middle or window seat. Unfortunately a person's failure to plan, does not constitute an emergency on my part.

ilovesooty · 19/04/2022 02:05

But you don't pay extra for a specific seat and they don't guarantee on trains that everyone gets a seat anyway.

On planes everyone gets a seat. If you have specific requirements you pay extra to choose the seat you want. You shouldn't expect someone else who has paid to reserve a seat to move to accommodate your family when you haven't paid for a reservation.

avamiah · 19/04/2022 02:06

I hate situations like this to be honest but would always ask the onboard airline staff first if there was anything they could do.

I personally would of said No as I would want to be sat next to my partner if I had paid for us to sit together.

Why should we sit apart?

The complaint is with the airline not OP .

HoppingPavlova · 19/04/2022 02:37

I've always understood that it was a legal requirement for children (under 12?) to sit with a parent / carer, so we never paid for it when our DC were younger. I wasn't willing to pay for something the airlines required to provide

As has been pointed out numerous times, airlines definitions of ‘sitting with’ does not exclusively mean sitting next to each other. It can mean sitting across an aisle from, sitting in front of or sitting behind. If you want to be assured of sitting NEXT to a child/children, you need to pay.

avamiah · 19/04/2022 02:43

@HoppingPavlova

I've always understood that it was a legal requirement for children (under 12?) to sit with a parent / carer, so we never paid for it when our DC were younger. I wasn't willing to pay for something the airlines required to provide

As has been pointed out numerous times, airlines definitions of ‘sitting with’ does not exclusively mean sitting next to each other. It can mean sitting across an aisle from, sitting in front of or sitting behind. If you want to be assured of sitting NEXT to a child/children, you need to pay.

Yes your Right

It’s Ridiculous but they get away with it unless you pay for seats next to each other and know the seat numbers.

Selmaselma · 19/04/2022 03:02

I would have referred them to the crew to deal with their issues. I have moved seats before but only when equivalent to the one i had (e.g. window seat in a different row).

avamiah · 19/04/2022 03:10

Yes why would you move seats on a flight to be seated away from the person you are travelling with and have paid extra to be seated together.

I’m sorry but the issue is with the airline only.

expat101 · 19/04/2022 03:26

I don't think you are allowed to swap seats once on board..

Rainbowqueeen · 19/04/2022 03:36

What kind of parent knows that their child is scared of flying and needs their parent next to them but doesn’t book the appropriate seats. Yes there is a cost but that’s just part of parenting.

You were completely with your rights and she was wrong

avamiah · 19/04/2022 03:40

@expat101

I don't think you are allowed to swap seats once on board..
As long as the onboard crew have agreed it and everybody is happy then there usually isn’t a problem .
alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 19/04/2022 03:54

I wouldn't have moved and I wouldn't have felt one bit guilty about it. This 'be kind' bollocks is a load of old toot IMO, they should have paid for their own seats if it was that important to them/