Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings

I can't get over the fact that someone said this in all seriousness. Of course I do. If her parent can't be bothered about her feelings, then why the hell should strangers on a flight? Staggering entitlement from the parent.

Nope I wouldn't have moved either. Want to sit together then pay simple! Likewise if it's someone with a thousands kids who wants the whole plane to move to accommodate them.....it's a no from me!

When I was asked to move seats, I did so VERY reluctantly.
I was travelling alone and hadn't paid for my own booked seats, but moving was a hassle because if you're one of the last people there's often no room in the overhead locker and your bag has to not be right next to you.
I had just presumed I'd be picked on by the other passengers if I said no to the parents of small children though so I moved.
I'd be interested to know, how I should deal with it next time.

@Gwenhwyfar

When I was asked to move seats, I did so VERY reluctantly. I was travelling alone and hadn't paid for my own booked seats, but moving was a hassle because if you're one of the last people there's often no room in the overhead locker and your bag has to not be right next to you. I had just presumed I'd be picked on by the other passengers if I said no to the parents of small children though so I moved. I'd be interested to know, how I should deal with it next time.

Well if there's no reason not to move other than the slight inconvenience of your bag being further away so that a young child can be by their parents, of course you should move.

@Gwenhwyfar

When I was asked to move seats, I did so VERY reluctantly. I was travelling alone and hadn't paid for my own booked seats, but moving was a hassle because if you're one of the last people there's often no room in the overhead locker and your bag has to not be right next to you. I had just presumed I'd be picked on by the other passengers if I said no to the parents of small children though so I moved. I'd be interested to know, how I should deal with it next time.

I think what you can take from this thread is that, actually, most people are not impressed when parents pull this shit and would have been on your side. Why should you have to play musical chairs on a plane because some parents can’t be bothered to organise (and pay for) seats together.

Holidays are expensive anyway. The money to sit together is a cost you can totally anticipate and budget for.

I personally would have switched the seats and have done it few times before. However, you didn't want to, which fair enough you didn't have to do anything.

Next time, I would tell a flight attendant this woman would like to sit next to her daughter can you help her? This improves the flight environment. Well it would for me.

Along a slightly different vein, but 8 years ago I flew to New York for a cancer conference that started later the same day (I had a young child and wanted to minimise the number of nights I was away). I deliberately booked a bulkhead window seat (no extra fee with this airline) to enable me to get some sleep (I can’t sleep in the middle or on the aisle) because the evening session ended at 11pm (4am UK time). The plane configuration was 2-3-2 and upon boarding it became apparent that the passenger next to me was one half of a couple, the other half of which was across the aisle and one row back. They immediately asked me to switch seats with him so they could be together and I politely refused, explaining why. Cue passive-aggressive comments throughout the flight, including gems such as “I hope your air sickness doesn’t kick in, darling” from him to her! I didn’t rise to it then but I am much more feisty now after years of sleep deprivation and wouldn’t stand for those comments now - kick myself that I didn’t 🤣 CFs.

There’s been occasions where I’ve moved seats.

There was one occasion where I had paid for my seat (broken ankle so wanted second row (had larger leg room like the front)

Someone asked me to swap and I kindly said I had paid for my seat then saw the ankle. It wasn’t awkward and was totally understood.

If the mother is that worried she should of paid.

Well if there's no reason not to move other than the slight inconvenience of your bag being further away so that a young child can be by their parents, of course you should move.

But it’s a complete pain in the arse - often for everyone - if your bag is 5 rows back and you can’t disembark without it. And it’s harder to go and get something out of (especially if you’ve moved to a bloody middle seat).

I just don’t think it’s an ‘of course you should put yourself out for the people who knew this was a risk and decided not to pay anyway’.

It’s now pretty standard that you have to pay to ensure you sit together in planes. It’s not a surprise. Or even close to a new thing. Everyone knows it.

And when they see a family of chancers inconveniencing everyone around them, they know they’re chancers who chose not to pay.

I have no problem with people asking, but the answer is "no" most of the time. I have mild fear of flying and I book aisle seats because those are the ones that work best for me. I do not want to sit at a window or in the middle. I have moved to another aisle seat occasionally but only if it is one or two rows away because otherwise it is a pain when you arrive trying to retrieve your stuff from another part of the plane.

Sometimes people are taken aback by getting a "no" as an answer, but I honestly don't care if the person I am sitting beside for a few hours and will never see again is in a mood with me, and other people's children/partners are not my problem.

To add.

I’m flying long haul in a few weeks and TUI are charging for seats. I’m well aware we will be split up. We’re not worried. If I was I would pay.

The real unreasonable people are the airlines.

Booked flights to the states. Used Expedia. Suggested basic economy. Husband was going to book, it’s only because of threads on here I asked - can we select seats DD is 5 and not flown since she was a lap baby. Husband said - they won’t sit a five year old alone don’t be silly. Next half hour spend reading fine print - no we can’t but don’t worry they sit minors next to parents . Another half hour to find the airlines minor seating policy - next to adult means across aisle or infront/behind so not getting those tickets then. Couldn’t figure out how to pay for seat choice so flying a different airline for £200 more per person. It shouldn’t be this hard to sit next to your kid. I have no need to sit next to dp or have any particular seat but I do need dp or I to sit next to dd5. It shouldn’t be so much more money and effort to sort that.

No you weren’t wrong , I recently travelled and my kids sat couple of rows apart from me , it was a last min hol so by time we booked not many seats left together . Wouldn’t dream of acting as thought people who had paid for their seats should swap with us .

The problem nowadays is that airlines offer the base price and then you have to add on the extras of hold luggage plus seats. All of these significantly can increase the cost of the flight per person.

I’ve booked flights with Easy Jet for Christmas and my partner needs his work laptop as do I for our holiday and we’ve paid £32.99 each, each way for the seats that includes overhead locker for a small carry on bag plus paid additional hold luggage charge. This is due to EJ changing their policy on what you can take on board. We always put our suitcases in the hold but the policy has changed on what constitutes a carry on bag.

I would be miffed at paying £66 x 2 ways for seat allocation that includes the option of selecting the seat and putting a laptop overhead to then be asked to move and accommodate someone else who has not paid an additional £132. I actually wouldn’t object if my laptop stayed in the overhead and I was given a refund on the seat selection cost. But without the refund why should we move from what we’ve paid for?

I’ve seen families who haven’t paid for seats who then kick up a stink that a family of 4 or 5 aren’t allocated seats together. I get that it adds to the cost of their holiday but that’s how it works.

That sounds like a shit user interface.

Tbh, the horse has long bolted on being pissed off at the airlines for this shit. People could have refused to do it at the start and it wouldn’t have taken off (like charging for all ATM withdrawals which is totally standard in the USA, but UK bank customers were not up for it).

Thing is, the alternative is just that all the tickets will be £25 more expensive. It’s really just a system where those who don’t care can save some money. Personally, I’d prefer a more transparent pricing policy for holiday bookings. I find websites like tui unbelievably frustrating to use because they are so busy trying to pretend everything is cheap by standardising the most basic options. You have to go through several pages to figure out how much it actually costs to book what you want - and that makes comparison really difficult.

But clearly other people think that’s great. They do lots of user research about this shit, so it must be based on what customers want.

I have an anxious teen, I always pay to select seats to ensure we are together.
If its Tui policy to sit parents and children together she should have raised it with airline staff. Having said that if reason was genuine she wasn't unreasonable to ask you but I completely understand why you said no. I really don't like it when airline's split families up. Wish they'd just charge a fair price in the first place.

We were on a flight once with our 3dc, had paid to be seated on one row (3 in the window row and then 2 from the middle section) and someone needed an aisle seat as they had booked one but not been allocated one somehow. Anyway, after much toing and froing in the rows in front of us I volunteered to move seats to be in the middle of the row which he been allocated. Didn’t bother me, our dc were with dh and they gave me a perfume of my choice for diffusing an awkward situation which was kind of them and they didn’t need to do!
Drinks and food were already complimentary otherwise I’m sure they would have maybe just offered a free drink.
It was for a man who had a bad hip I think and would have struggled to sit without being able to stretch his leg out. I wasn’t really aware of the fuss until I heard raised voices. We just really needed to book so that one of the adults was sat with ds as he was about 6 at the time, the other 2dc were 13 and 14 so didn’t especially need us!

@girlmom21 if the parents are that bothered they should pay to select seats! The ownes is not on everyone else to accommodate other peoples children. Child or not I would not have moved

I think there’s a difference between days of yore when you didn’t have to pay and any issue would have been a genuine availability issue. I have and would a hundred times over be willing to swap for a family. Now you have to pay and it seems parents aren’t willing to pay for the privilege of sitting next to their children so others who have paid begrudge swapping. I wouldn’t now either. I recently got on a plane where I had the window seat as a lone passenger and the Middle seat lone passenger offered to swap so they didn’t have to keep moving every time I wanted to get out, no you’re alright thanks!

She was unreasonable. We’ve just paid £80 for upgrades to extra legroom seats for our holiday and my bum is going to be glued to that seat 😆

"I think what you can take from this thread is that, actually, most people are not impressed when parents pull this shit and would have been on your side. Why should you have to play musical chairs on a plane because some parents can’t be bothered to organise (and pay for) seats together.

Holidays are expensive anyway. The money to sit together is a cost you can totally anticipate and budget for."

Thank you Soggy.
The thing is that if I hadn't agreed to move so that the father could sit with his wife and child, I would have been stuck with the wife and child possibly giving me dirty looks or being nasty all through the flight so I sort of felt like I had no choice anyway.
That's why the lady in the OP is unreasonable to even ask I think.

Nope, I would not put up with the massive inconvenience of being away from your bag @Gwenhwyfar!

Next time just say no. You don't have to move. People never pick on irascible looking old men. In fact, they rarely pick on men at all. They ask women to move because, as this thread shows, many women are prepared to put their own needs below those of other people they don't even know

I think a lot of people on here are presuming that the passengers book direct on airline/tour operators website direct where I agree it does make it absolutely clear that you have to pay to sit together. How many book via a third party who create a ‘package’ but don’t advise of all the add ons. I’ve come across this with low cost airlines where people genuinely weren’t told

@Gwenhwyfar

When I was asked to move seats, I did so VERY reluctantly. I was travelling alone and hadn't paid for my own booked seats, but moving was a hassle because if you're one of the last people there's often no room in the overhead locker and your bag has to not be right next to you. I had just presumed I'd be picked on by the other passengers if I said no to the parents of small children though so I moved. I'd be interested to know, how I should deal with it next time.

I wouldn't have moved from an aisle or window seat away from my bag to a middle seat even then unless a member of the crew had asked me to. I'd be tired of being expected to move because I'm travelling on my own.

[quote Mrsmch123]@girlmom21 if the parents are that bothered they should pay to select seats! The ownes is not on everyone else to accommodate other peoples children. Child or not I would not have moved[/quote]
It should be on the airline to use common sense, really.

But now that poster has said the child was already with the mother I think they're a bit precious for asking her to move to accommodate the father too.