Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

I don't think it was wrong of her to ask, politely. It certainly wasn't wrong for you to refuse. She should have politely accepted that you didn't want to give up your seats and left it there. She is not entitled to somebody else's seat just because she has a child who is scared of flying.

My children are young and are scared of flying. I wouldn't dream of booking plane tickets without being certain that they could sit with me. I can't believe that someone would be that stupid. I think the only thing that makes sense is that she didn't fancy paying the extra money, and assumed that she could pressure someone else into giving away their seat.

The fact you think a young child should be left of their own because a parent doesn't have an extra £20pp or doesn't even know there's a seat-choosing service available is weird AF. Train companies manage to allocate everyone a seat when they book all by themselves.

Ah, ‘think of the children’. No. That’s one’s on the parents.

It’s weirder to think that your problems are anyone else’s to solve. If I’ve paid to select a seat then I’m not moving because someone else has failed to do so. Complainers are more than welcome to sit, seethe, and cope with it.

I wouldn't for any reason. I pay extra to select seats so I make sure I am travelling with my companions. If I was asked to move, even for a young child, I would say no. One of my regular companions has special needs and I have to sit next to them. To an outsider it's just two adults travelling together. I don't owe them an explanation as to the reason I need to stay with my companion either. Their medical details are none of anyone's business. I'd say no, nicely. If they can't accept I have my reasons for saying no, their problem. They can be organised like me and book seats together in advance.

@girlmom21

The fact you think a young child should be left of their own because a parent doesn't have an extra £20pp or doesn't even know there's a seat-choosing service available is weird AF. Train companies manage to allocate everyone a seat when they book all by themselves.

She was probably a changer, given her crappy response to OP.

If you and your boyfriend are on a tight budget you could have asked her for £50 to swap. It's only a matter of sitting apart for under 2 hours out of an entire holiday, and you'd have had £50 to spend on your hols.

I doubt she would have paid, though; she was just a chancer.

This really is the fault of scummy airlines who could easily change their seat allocation algorithm so no child is left to sit alone. Regardless of how cheap/useless their parents are, this sort of situation is not fair on kids and not fair on the unrelated passengers who end up next to them for hours on end.

I wouldn't have moved either!

We did have a random one of a seat generator trying to sit us as a family on 3 separate aisle seats as this considered them close together except my DS was 2! But we spoke to the airline who managed to override and put us together.

@wearejustfriends

Also I told her I had paid for seats. Her response was "what difference does it make"

Obviously a lot of difference, otherwise she’d have paid.

Also, does she really think that line of belligerent, entitled thinking is going to sweet talk you?

She can ask and you can say no. The problem here is that she wasn’t prepared to accept a no. She thought it was a case of she can ask and you’ll do as you’re told.

I wouldn’t have moved.

@DailySheetWasher

This really is the fault of scummy airlines who could easily change their seat allocation algorithm so no child is left to sit alone. Regardless of how cheap/useless their parents are, this sort of situation is not fair on kids and not fair on the unrelated passengers who end up next to them for hours on end.

In general their seat allocations algorithm will put children next to their accompanying adults. We haven't always paid and DS has never not been next to at least one of us.

But its not always possible - if large numbers of passengers pay to reserve seats there might not be enough pairs of seats next to each other available for those who did not pay. Definitely looked the case on the TUI flights we did last week. Do you suggest the airlines start moving the customers who did pay? Its possible that customers have selected seats to sit near people on separate bookings.

This really is the fault of scummy airlines who could easily change their seat allocation algorithm so no child is left to sit alone. Regardless of how cheap/useless their parents are, this sort of situation is not fair on kids and not fair on the unrelated passengers who end up next to them for hours on end.

I think what would be more feasible is them just increasing the base cost and this including seat selection. If you can’t get seats to your liking then get on another flight that hasn’t filled up and has lots of options.

People need to shift their mindset. Instead of thinking (for example), ‘my ticket is 200 and seat selection is 20 so I won’t bother with seat selection’, it needs to be ‘my ticket is 220 and as part of that I get to pick a flight/seat I’m happy with’.

You’d have to be living under a rock or have not read ANY details on the web or gazillion emails you get sent before a flight to not know how seating works these days. Very much doubt they booked on the phone and no one told them, upselling opportunity missed and frankly they’d be the only people alive to speak to a real TUI member of staff - it’s like the Wonky Factory.

I'f you're not willing to pay the extra amount, you can't, even with kids, expect everyone else to accomodate you- you did nothing wrong. You paid extra to ensure sitting together- she assumed that everyone would juts roll over because she had a child with her. Not your fault and I wouldn't have moved either if id paid ti sit with someone.

I can be a bit nervous and I always pay to choose my seat as it helps me feel a bit better. Totally fine to not move of you have paid and she hasn’t. If specific seats were a priority she would have budgeted for that in her holiday planning.

@whumpthereitis

The fact you think a young child should be left of their own because a parent doesn't have an extra £20pp or doesn't even know there's a seat-choosing service available is weird AF. Train companies manage to allocate everyone a seat when they book all by themselves.

Ah, ‘think of the children’. No. That’s one’s on the parents.

It’s weirder to think that your problems are anyone else’s to solve. If I’ve paid to select a seat then I’m not moving because someone else has failed to do so. Complainers are more than welcome to sit, seethe, and cope with it.

There’s also the issue that, if your budget cannot stretch to an extra £100 to ensure you are sitting with your scared of flying child there and back, then you probably can’t afford the holiday in the first place.

An Easter holiday in Gran Canaria isn’t a basic human need. Just because a family has decided to cut corners in flight bookings, doesn’t mean other people have a responsibility to ensure they get what they wanted anyway.

This is not charity territory. It’s always already in the luxury lifestyle choices category - however ‘cheap and cheerful’ the package booked.

I couldn’t afford to go on holiday for years. So I didn’t go on holiday. We visited family instead or did loc things. Neither me nor my kids are scarred from the experience. Foreign holidays aren’t a human right or even a need.

@HoppingPavlova

This really is the fault of scummy airlines who could easily change their seat allocation algorithm so no child is left to sit alone. Regardless of how cheap/useless their parents are, this sort of situation is not fair on kids and not fair on the unrelated passengers who end up next to them for hours on end.

I think what would be more feasible is them just increasing the base cost and this including seat selection. If you can’t get seats to your liking then get on another flight that hasn’t filled up and has lots of options.

People need to shift their mindset. Instead of thinking (for example), ‘my ticket is 200 and seat selection is 20 so I won’t bother with seat selection’, it needs to be ‘my ticket is 220 and as part of that I get to pick a flight/seat I’m happy with’.

It would be increasing the base cost. And then people wouldn’t be happy because they couldn’t opt out and ‘save’ money.

I suppose that the people saying "think about the child" are probably the ones that will be trying to guilt trip the rest of us out of our booked and paid for seats this summer.

Why should the base cost increase for every flyer just because parents of young children can’t take advantage of the discount? If for whenever reason travelling with your party is important to you, you need to factor that into the cost of the flight and if you can’t afford that, then you can’t afford to travel. Same as you can’t check a suitcase for free just because you have a good reason for needing it.

I also find it interesting that many posters are saying people should move for families who didn’t value sitting with their children enough to ph the fee should move because ‘it’s just a seat’. Funny how it’s ‘just a seat’ for the party who paid for it…

I'd have willingly swapped if it hadn't cost me extra to choose seats. But you did, so I wouldn't.

I once booked seats on a train and when it arrived the train was packed and an elderly couple were occupying my booked spots. I did ask them to move and got some dark looks from the other passengers. I felt pretty bad about it but they did have the same chance to book that I had.

It would be increasing the base cost. And then people wouldn’t be happy because they couldn’t opt out and ‘save’ money

I never pay to select seats. I honestly don't care if I'm sitting next to whoever I'm travelling with. It's not "saving" money. I'm happy to pay the basic cost.

@Fruby

Really surprised about peoples feeling on this. I would have swapped and wouldn’t have minded in the slightest. Just doesn’t seem that much of an inconvenience or that much expense.

Maybe the mum doesn’t travel often and didn’t realise you could pay for seats together, or didn’t realise some people has paid for seats. As a frequent traveller even I have missed that page when booking flights before.

I will definitely think twice before asking someone if they’re happy to switch seats again, never occurred to me people would have such strong feelings. If there is a more practical arrangement for all travellers as a group I’d always be happy to switch it up.

Lucky you that nearly £50 isn't 'that much expense'

Why should the base cost increase for every flyer just because parents of young children can’t take advantage of the discount?

Absolutely. If you choose to have children then you have to accept that those children come with extra costs. Extra costs that are your responsibility, not a random stranger on the plane's responsibility.

@Labscollie

1. Her daughter's fear of flying isn't your problem

1. Her sense of entitlement, when she didn't get her own way, validated your initial response.

I wonder if her daughter even had a fear of flying, or if it was just an excuse? Like in shops where someone says "my child is very upset you won't do/give something" and the child is just standing there perfectly happy.

*Fruby

Really surprised about peoples feeling on this. I would have swapped and wouldn’t have minded in the slightest. Just doesn’t seem that much of an inconvenience or that much expense.

Maybe the mum doesn’t travel often and didn’t realise you could pay for seats together, or didn’t realise some people has paid for seats. As a frequent traveller even I have missed that page when booking flights before.

I will definitely think twice before asking someone if they’re happy to switch seats again, never occurred to me people would have such strong feelings. If there is a more practical arrangement for all travellers as a group I’d always be happy to switch it up.

Lucky you that nearly £50 isn't 'that much expense' *
Even if it isn't much expense, why should you lose the money? It's like ordering a meal in a restaurant and someone demanding you give it to them; you can afford the meal, you've paid for it, so why should someone else get it for free?