Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

@sarahtalkstoomuch - When was the term “air hostess” last used in the aviation industry?

YANBU: I wouldn’t have moved. Reminds me of this meme that is being shared on this very similar scenario

youtube.com/shorts/Vc_2wY75Z_8?feature=share

I would also be asking why she was dragging her scared of flying minor, on a flight. I guess a holiday abroad, however, supercedes her child's needs, when it suits.

@toastofthetown - It is sharp practice.

I see a holiday X all in at £790.
And another Holiday Y purportedly at £650

I prefer destination of Holiday X but can't really justify the extra cost so go with Y...

Then after discussing it with everyone, checking the reviews, the weather, all the rest of it... selecting it and putting in details, it asks me for another £140 for "extra costs".

It is sharp business practice.

We've all got so used to being conned and charged "extras" we see it as normal business practice, and businesses that make vast profits are applauded for their great business success... but it is a con.

Like 2 for 3 offers when you just need one item.

Or clothes on models that are all super slim and beautiful without a spare ounce of flesh, etc.
Because they are cynically selling a dream of a film star life, not a swimsuit....

That sounds really rubbish of BA @abc4321 and sounds like you did all you could to sort it.

I hope they finally agreed some compensation

My understanding of the seating arrangements on board an airplane is that if you're sitting in the window seat in row 5 for example, the window seat in both row 6 or row 4 would be considered "sitting together", even though you're a row apart.

Similarly with aisle seats, you could have the aisle seat in row 22, and your travelling companion could be in the aisle seat in row 21 or 23 and they would be considered 'sitting together'.

Traditionally, sitting together would have meant having either the window and middle seat or middle and aisle seat in the same row but not anymore.

I am open to correction on any of the above but it is my understanding on how things operate now.

You didn't do anything wrong @wearejustfriends. Hope you had an otherwise pleasant flight.

@HaveANiceFuckingDay

No of course YANBU she should have booked seats knowing her daughter required a certain seat. Freeloader springs to mind I hate this People expecting you give give up the seats you've paid for .

This happened to me once flying back from Vancouver to London. I wanted an aisle seat on a big jet (3, 4, 3) seating formation and I paid $30 for it. I was a student, it wasn’t an insignificant amount.

A older man who was seated next to me (I was the D seat in the middle four, indicated to me to move in. I said no, this is my seat. He said, no, you take this one, I’ll sit there. I said no, this is my seat, I’ve paid for it and I’m not moving. And If I were to give you this seat you owe me $30.

He was very very cross about it, and then a l other guy, not part of his party tried to tell me I should give him the seat!

I refused point blank, but felt very accosted for it.

They eventually found him a different seat, but being so tall and clearly wanting the little bit of extra leg room he felt he needed, why didn’t he just pay instead of trying to guilt others into giving theirs up.

It’s tight-fisted at best and downright bullying behaviour at worst.

I've twice had my seat moved away from my kids on airlines. The first time was transatlantic and I had been moved to sit the row behind which was beside my parents who share my last name unlike my dh and dc. They just weren't listening and insisted I had to sit with my parents- who were on a completely different booking to us. I was apoplectic by the end. The minute they called a supervisor over to the check in they sorted it immediately.
The second time we had booked via a travel agent and my dh family all at together and I was a few rows away in a middle seat by myself- but to be fair I blame the travel agents for that one.
I've also started checking in on the seats we've booked every so often because sometimes the plane is changed and the original seat we had booked is now a emergency seat which kids can't sit at-I caught that one early thank god otherwise we'd have been at the mercy of strangers on the day. Which is so frustrating when you've booked seats.

I would have moved if I'd taken my chances and chosen not paid to sit together. Yes, it would have been a pain because I'm a nervous flyer and would always prefer DH with me, especially for a special holiday like an anniversary. But, I would have been the bigger person for the sake of a child and moved. ONLY if I hadn't paid for the seat reservation.

Absolutely no way would I move if I'd paid to ensure we were together. Not only would I be financially out of pocket but I'd have the hassle of moving having settled down and got a locker space nearby AND be away from my DH for the whole flight, with no-one talk to. I may weigh it up and that if they offered to reimburse us for our financial loss then yes, I would swap. But to expect others to just move, having paid, is frankly just taking the piss.

As it’s a short flight, and if she’d been nice - I’d have moved.

But you weren’t unreasonable in the slightest to say no, especially as you’d paid the small supplement to book your seats.

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

Totally not mean, the mother was being neglectful in not bothering about her daughter's alleged fear of flying, why is the rest of humanity expected to prop up useless parents all the time? Some on this site are so full of their own perfection, it isn't 'entitlement', or any other buzzword you choose to use, it's expecting what one's paid for. A stranger's child and its alleged fear is the parent's responsibility, they need to 'own it'. whatever they supposed to be 'owning' in the world of stupid words.

I would have moved. She's a child and I would not have wanted her to feel scared on a long flight. How I feel about her mother is neither here nor there.

This is what the CAA have to say on seating families together. I notice the use of the word should over the word must, and the fact that this is just guidance. If sitting next to my young children was important to me, I'd book a seat accordingly.

The seating of children close by their parents or guardians should be the aim of airline seat allocation procedures for family groups and large parties of children.

Young children and infants who are accompanied by adults should ideally be seated in the same seat row as the adult. Where this is not possible, children should be separated by no more than one seat row from accompanying adults. This is because the speed of an emergency evacuation may be affected by adults trying to reach their children.

Whenever a number of infants and children are travelling together the airline should make every effort to ensure that they can be readily supervised by the responsible accompanying adults.

No you’re not BU. I hate this. Everyone has the option to prebook seats, it’s standard these days and sadly is just something to be factored into costs. I always pay to be by an aisle for several reasons and have been asked to move. A straight swap, ie to another identical aisle seat is fine. But otherwise no,

I wouldn’t have moved if I’d paid for the seat either and wouldn’t have given a second thought to saying no.

If it was a need rather than a preference, the mother should have sorted the seating arrangements before the flight or presumably a flight attendant would have explained to you why it was imperative that you moved (and arranged a reimbursement of what you’d paid to guarantee your seat).

If that afraid of flying, rather than swap seats ( I am no expert in these matters but I have never before heard of this as a therapeutic approach) why not get her medication, go by boat or best of all, save the planet and stay at home?

Why on earth are strangers more accountable for other people’s children than the children's parents are?

The logic employed to make other people responsible for parents choosing things that aren’t in their child’s interests is astounding sometimes.

Clearly the parent is not in in the wrong for not ensuring they’ll be sitting with their child, who is apparently scared of flying. The people who won’t move out of their seats (which they paid extra for) are ‘uncharitable’ and ‘mean’. 🙄

When did it become so acceptable for parents to act like the whole world revolves around their children, and anyone not desperate to accommodate their wants is horrible and nasty?

I’m pretty certain these are the kind of parents who let their kids kick the seat in front throughout the flight too.

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

The mother chose not to pay for a seat next to her child.

Doesn't that mean she values money over her own child's feelings?

@Cryingintherain99

At the end of the day it all comes down to kindness. There are plenty of people who like me would have felt for the poor girl (who had absolutely no say in whether her mother paid for them to sit together or not). My first and foremost thoughts would have been with the child. It's like giving to charity in one sense. You choose whether to do it or not. Some people would choose to help, but clearly there are plenty who wouldn't. No matter how I felt about the money, I would have felt more at ease knowing the child could sit with her mum to help ease her fears.

FGS

She was in front of her, not the other end of the plane!

@RobotValkyrie

Not unreasonable. Just uncharitable. You're allowed to be mean. People are allowed to judge you for it.

Personally I would have swapped for the sake of a child. My partner is an adult and can survive a whole flight without me holding his hand.
You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

The woman and her child could have chosen to pay to reserve their own seats too, if it was important to them.

I can guarantee the woman didn't offer to pay the cost of those seats - often quite a big amount too.

As a somewhat nervous flyer I always pay to sit next to my husband and/or daughter. I do that as I know it improves my flying experience.

@Cryingintherain99

At the end of the day it all comes down to kindness. There are plenty of people who like me would have felt for the poor girl (who had absolutely no say in whether her mother paid for them to sit together or not). My first and foremost thoughts would have been with the child. It's like giving to charity in one sense. You choose whether to do it or not. Some people would choose to help, but clearly there are plenty who wouldn't. No matter how I felt about the money, I would have felt more at ease knowing the child could sit with her mum to help ease her fears.

I completely disagree (and btw yet another poster trotting out the ‘be kind’ aka disregard your own feelings to a woman who did what was best for her )

What it’s actually like is if I’ve already donated to two charities close to my heart and this woman comes along and insists I must donate to her charity, regardless of what I’ve already paid and the decisions I’ve already made and then gets angry at me for not doing what I’m told.

@Cryingintherain99

You are absolutely not being unreasonable She had same opportunity as you to book & pay for seats and chose not to .A polite “ sorry but we booked our seats to ensure we would be seated together “ should suffice . No need for further explanation.

Do you know what? I just don’t believe the ‘be kind’/‘won’t anyone (except the parents, who somehow done have to) think of the children?’ posters would swap the seats they’d paid extra for so that a woman and her child could sit in them.

I think it’s all your standard online vortue signalling.

Yanbu

You paid extra because it was important to sit with your partner.

I'd consider selling her a seat for £44 but she's a cf for thinking that she could guilt you into moving for free.

I would explain that I’d booked the seats for a reason and paid to sit together. If I was feeling very kind I would offer to swap if she paid the booking fee for reserving the seats you’d paid for.