To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

@eggsbenedict82 you sound lovely! Nothing like using the kids to score points.
I’m not defending your hopeless dh. But you clearly saw this coming and instead of prompting him so the kids don’t miss out you decided instead to use them to play silly games. Delightful!

Gosh you do sound like a stereotypical step-mum. You've has almost a weeks notice, you managed to buy eggs for all the children but not your own SDC? Sounds like your husband is sick of it and rightly so.

Just a word of caution to you, if this is a regular thing for you. My step mother was like this, when my half brother was a bit older my Dad left the new wife. His reason? He got sick of the way his wife spoke about and treated us. His wasn't blame free of course, he should have stuck up for his children and left her sooner.

If the father knew the children were coming on Wednesday why didn’t he ask OP if she had bought eggs for the children? Once she said no (as they weren’t meant to be visiting) he could have taken himself off to the shop to buy his children the eggs.

Why is the wicked step mother always to blame?

The father needs to buy eggs today or give his children his eggs. He sounds like a right fucking waste of space TBH.

This is the sort of thing that would have happened to me as a step child. SM would have only got eggs for her own DC and my dad wouldn’t have thought to get me any.

It’s crap and you end up feeling like 2 adults don’t give a shit. Never felt like I fitted in to dads new life, now as an adult I feel uncomfortable in his home and never felt like my SM welcomes me or my family.

As much as I hate women being the default organiser and carrying the mental load, please remember that kids have feelings.

When you said last minute I thought you meant you were told yesterday evening or this morning. Wednesday- might be later notice than you'd like but it's hardly such short notice that there's no time to include them in the plans you've made for their little brother. Your Dh should be helping but the way you seem to divide between 'your' family ( your DS, nieces/nephews) and 'his' family (his children) seems strange and not a good long term setup.

YABU, not even one? They are your kids too OP, you married someone with two children, you marry into someone's family. This is really mean spirited of you.

I knew DSS would be here this weekend so I added an egg to my shopping basket for him together with my own DC. But if he wasn’t going to be here, then I wouldn’t have bothered - I’ve got them all an egg each I dont think they need a fuss and they get plenty from family so he wouldn’t have missed one from our house if not.

Anyway - I agree, he should have bought his own, not expected you to magic some up when you didn’t even know you’d be seeing them.

[quote Tillsforthrills]@ThisMustBeMyDream

DH may have wrongly assumed that as she was buying eggs, she’d include DSC. Its interesting your idealistic take on it seeing that you’re a step mum. Hopefully most step mums have a shred of decency.[/quote]
I don't follow; please elaborate.

I would have voted YANBU but Wednesday was days ago so I would have expected you to include them in your elaborate plans and preparation for Easter that included an egg hunt for her husband.

If you had no plans at all apart from an egg for your daughter or you didn't find out they were coming until last night then fair enough.

• your husband

Do people not talk to each other anymore? If I was ordering eggs I would have said do you want me to get any for x and y whilst I am ordering for z? Its not exactly difficult and takes 20 seconds.

So you bought eggs for your own child, and for other children in your extended family, but you didn't buy any for your stepchildren who would be there on Easter Sunday.

I think that's incredibly mean-spirited and hurtful. Their Dad should most certainly have made sure there were eggs for his children, not least because he lives with you so I imagine he would know what sort of person you are and expect you to leave them out

@Doubleraspberry

I’m feeling quite guilty now that I just chucked some Creme Eggs into the garden and sent the kids out to find them! They are being seriously short changed on Easter.

Don’t be. All I did was hide some chocolate eggs around the house that they had to hunt for

They got given an egg each by me and then one each by their Nan.

That’s it. Nothing else happened. They won’t get anything else either

@SpilltheTea

HE had plenty of time to sort out eggs. He knew you'd done the order and that the plans had changed, but expected YOU to sort it out for him. Useless twat.

Or maybe he thought his wife would have taken the full family into consideration and that includes all children.

Yes there was a breakdown of communication but don’t think the OP’s husband is being unreasonable to think that his children would be excluded when what I’m guessing was a family shop from Asda was being ordered

And even if they were not scheduled to be there today or even this week if this particular family takes Easter so seriously that the children get gifts then surely an egg would be given at some point?

I am assuming that the DSCs don’t get the same level of Easter gifts that the OPs child (and nieces and nephews get) if they are not even included in egg purchasing

If you bought eggs for one you should have bought for all. Can't see why it matters who's kids are who's if you're buying for Easter just get it all at once.

Seriously, your DP is crap for just assuming that you’re sorting everything out, and genuinely shitty if not willing to give his own chocolate to his children (WTAF?) but I do find it off that neither of you thought in the last four days to grab some eggs for them.

It sounds like you deliberately didn't buy eggs or mention that DH might like to buy some, just in order to make a point. The point being that it's not your job and you knew he wouldn't have thought of it so there would be no eggs for the child.
It seems petty and spiteful and who gains? You have made a point but everyone is upset. DH presumably feels guilty and annoyed. The child has no easter eggs and will feel second best and will remember.

as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.

Easter does not need much preparation.

DH could have absolutely got his kids an egg but as you got it for one then he would of course you assumed you got it for all of them.

When I went to get my DCs egg o also got one for my nieces too.

Next year get DH to get eggs for all of his kids not just your SDCs.

Nasty

He tried to insist that we should give some of DS' eggs to them later, I think he should give them some of the eggs MIL bought him. (Yes, he's 43 and MIL still buys him eggs. I know, right )

I'm 43 and my parents still buy me an Easter egg, I get an advent calendar at Christmas too. So get lost with your .

@Constantcrayfish Grand Marche is open today according to their website, but Waitrose isn't, so I took that to be a company decision on their part rather than a legal thing. It's carnage at Benests, best avoided

As you were everyone...

@steff13

I would have bought them for all the kids in our family if I were the one buying them.

Same here.

I’ve no sympathy for you - whatever the rights and wrongs of who buys the eggs - with that shite about “casually dropping on you” that they were coming.

Wed for Sun?
And it’s their home.
What the hell does “casually” even mean? Is he supposed to submit it in writing and await approval?

If my second husband had any issue with my child coming to her home he could get to fuck.

I’m glad my daughter’s stepmother doesn’t behave like you.

Not hate for stepmothers here - I am one, my child has a lovely one.

I did buy my three nieces eggs and a gift each, as my sister does the same for DS

You couldn’t pop an egg in the shop for your step kids then?

I totally get the ‘his kids, his problem’ argument. But I couldn’t imagine not giving my step children an egg from me, however. That’s what seems so petty. You clearly rate Easter as a fun time for kids, so why not include your step children in that?

The visit was casually dropped on me on Wednesday (Asda was delivered on Tuesday), and I had already done all my preparation by then, but according to DH I was expected to factor in a visit I didn't even know was happening

They should have been bought stuff anyway. You don't leave them out because they don't live with you full-time just because the occasion falls on a day they are not with you. Personally I think if you were buying the children in the family eggs which it seems like you were then you shouldn't have left out 2 children that are very close family. I would have at least said I'm putting in an order for x's eggs do you want me to add y and zs too?