To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

I would of as I would of thought about the kids

@froidIci I agree, the updates are slightly more ridiculous as they go along

@froidIci

This post is SO try hard -

1. Person posts with a really obvious set of triggering points

1. Throws in specific points around further egging up the issue - bought treats for Nieces, spent weeks on preparing Easter for son - yet “cost of living crisis” so no more £2 for chocolates for step kids.

1. Further egging occurs when ex wife is shown to have bought egg and outfit for OP’s son.

1. Further assertion of BOTH extensive prep for Easter AND cost of living.

It’s just a set of posts from OP with such obvious things in it to cause an argument, rile people up etc. the only thing missing is twins!

Identical or fraternal!?

Bloody hell. I came out of hospital on Saturday, having been in for two weeks and still managed to organise eggs for the DSC (who are both in their twenties and live with their partners) along with my DS. Why wouldn’t you??

I’ve read the whole thread now and I think you resent your step children for existing. You sound resentful and petty.

How do you deduce that from the posts?

@jimmyjammy001

YABU in that they are your step children and by having a child with your partner you should be buying stuff for them as well, can't have one without the other I'm afraid, otherwise you shouldn't of got involved with a ready made family in the first place

God "ready made family" is such a cringe worthy phrase.

My DC is with Ex this year for Easter, there’s still eggs here for when they get home. Easter was not a surprise. Why wouldn’t you as a couple treat all your children equally?

@diddl

At the end of the day it doesn't matter that Op didn't get her sc any eggs as their father has some that he could give to them.

There hasn't been sight nor sound of DH since this morning, so I took it upon myself to hide the easter eggs from overbearing MIL and around the house in preparation for ex's DCs to arrive before he inhales them.

Why is it creepy? It’s quite nice thing to do as the child is a sibling to her children.

In an ideal world the DH would have sorted the eggs for DSC, but surely in these circumstances you would talk to each other especially once you knew they were joining you on Easter Sunday

In an ideal world the Easter plans and egg/treat buying would have been discussed and agreed between you, but as you clearly did not have this discussion but automatically took on egg buying and Easter planning for DS and DNs why wouldn't you have included your DSC?
Even if you weren't expecting them on the day an egg isn't too much is it?
Of course your DH should source eggs or give his eggs when the cock up was discovered this morning, but really, your lack of concern for your DSC is surprising.

The ex wife sounds a bit creepy buying stuff for OP's child. Why would she do that? No need whatsoever.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

@eggsbenedict82 oh sweetheart I was a free school meals kid but my dear mum would never have left any child out. If you have a pot of money, you divide it between your children, whether you gave birth to them, adopted them, fostered them or they are your step children. Don’t try to justify your inadequacies by commenting on my finances.

Nothing wrong with adults buying each other chocolate, but MIL treats DH like he is quite the opposite, she incessantly infantilises and enables his irresponsible nature, henceforth he treats the women in his life (me, ex-wife, and MIL) as his personal servants. Now he's gone off in a huff, refusing to communicate

This is more than just about the Easter eggs isn't it op?

"ex's DCs"

Interesting choice of words op!

Your DH is awful for not buying for any of the children. But you were mean to buy eggs for some of the kids in the family and not others. Even DH's ex bought for your child.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie

The ex wife sounds a bit creepy buying stuff for OP's child. Why would she do that? No need whatsoever.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

I'm not going over it again but yes. Creepy. Intrusive. Butting her way into the 2nd family.

I get that the kids aren't biologically yours but I find this whole situation bizarre. I think you're both out of order. There are three children here...not just one. And you chose to get pregnant to a man who already had two kids but now they're not part of the equation I despair..

@froidIci

This post is SO try hard -

1. Person posts with a really obvious set of triggering points

1. Throws in specific points around further egging up the issue - bought treats for Nieces, spent weeks on preparing Easter for son - yet “cost of living crisis” so no more £2 for chocolates for step kids.

1. Further egging occurs when ex wife is shown to have bought egg and outfit for OP’s son.

1. Further assertion of BOTH extensive prep for Easter AND cost of living.

It’s just a set of posts from OP with such obvious things in it to cause an argument, rile people up etc. the only thing missing is twins!

Totally agree. It’s an egg-streme example of goading if ever I saw one!

Still there are a few posters firmly on the Op’s side who think she hasn’t done a thing wrong and would be the same.

If it is true, I feel really sad for the children. It’s clear the OP doesn’t like or respect her husband and doesn’t appear to like her step kids, and also seems angry at their mother too. She knew on Wednesday they were coming to visit, she also knew there was an egg hunt planned plus eggs plus gifts for her son, but deliberately chose not to include her SC in any of that.

Her husband IS useless but if she always bought Easter eggs for his kids before, she maybe could have given him a heads up that she wasn’t doing it this year. It’s absolutely fair for her not to want to be responsible for that, but at least give him an opportunity to behave better. This way feels very cold and deliberate.

YABU. You just come off as petty. Eggs are cheap and you were already buying for the human you share with DH. I’m as unimpressed as other posters about the extent of planning Easter for a 3yo. It’s fine that you favour your own child BUT when it’s to the complete exclusion of his on a widely celebrated public holiday then it’s too far. This is going to be problematic for you as a family in the long term. I also get that he’s a twat for not buying all 3 of his kids eggs beforehand but it’s you who was organising Easter no? You had the opportunity to buy them & didn’t so much as ask him if he wanted you to pick up a couple of extra eggs?

My earlier post still stands that isn't a stepmums responsibility to buy for step children. However this OP is just downright ridiculous. I fully expect this to be "looked in to" by MN. It is goady and as I say, smacks of just trying to make stepmums look "evil" for their own perverse pleasure.
As an aside, DPs ex girlfriend has been horrendous to me and my children (and DP and DSD). She has accused my own children of sexual abuse of DSD and I can not think about her without imagining ripping her limb from limb. I still sent her other kid 2 little Easter eggs when DP took her back just now. Ffs. Most stepmums manage to put the children first despite being thrown the most horrific obstacles.

If I could fly me and DS off to US of A for Easter I most certainly would have done!

FFS OP just end the relationship already.

You have very little support on here as you were BU in this scenario however I’m sure there’s a massive backstory about why you are so unhappy in your relationship so why not start a new thread and explain what’s wrong in the relationship and why you haven’t left already.
I’m sure you’ll get a lot more support and advice.

@Moochio in your experience it is creepy as you have talked about your experience but in a lot of blended families it’s perfectly normal for the adults to be mature around the new children that are born after a break up.

My mum didn’t only buy gifts for my half siblings but she also babysat them at times. And I know of several families where the same happens

@Anonymoussssss

I get that the kids aren't biologically yours but I find this whole situation bizarre. I think you're both out of order. There are three children here...not just one. And you chose to get pregnant to a man who already had two kids but now they're not part of the equation I despair..

I chose to get pregnant?? Honestly, I ask you It may be holy week but I'm hardly the Virgin Mary! DH's kids are his responsibility, end of as far as I'm concerned.

Given you got the stuff in the Asda shop which presumably is paid for out of a joint money source I think it was mean to have not ordered them an egg each regardless of when they might come. Surely they would have been given it next time they visit anyway?

YABU. You could've given your step kids something from your 3yo's stash. It's not their fault their dad didn't get them any. You sound petty and the way you keep referring to them as "his children" is a bit off. If you have a wider problem with the dividing of "life admin", then deal with that separately. Otherwise you'll drive yourself bonkers.