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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

1002 replies

eggsbenedict82 · 17/04/2022 12:16

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? HmmAIBU

OP posts:
OakRowan · 17/04/2022 16:33

You deliberately left them out and didn't communicate with your DH about it, to make a point. Nice. They are part of your family, like it or not, stop bickering and using these kids to score.pounts and act like a parent yo all of them. If you've got problems with DH not doing enough then tell him, in time, don't use the kids for that. They'll already know how you feel about them, that they are separate to your own child, excluded, no doubt about that.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:33

@CandyLeBonBon

We're in agreement on that point moochio!
Ha! So we are! :D
YouLookinSusBro · 17/04/2022 16:33

To be honest you and your partner have both behaved appallingly, like a pair of children. You should be ashamed

Mummytotwonow · 17/04/2022 16:33

YABVU wouldn’t you have got them an egg each anyway for Easter?

sophienelisse · 17/04/2022 16:34

Just sad really those poor kids. Point scoring and it's then who will lose out.

He should have given the kids his eggs. It shouldn't of even crossed his mind not to.

I think op should have bought the kids a couple of eggs. And had it out with her DH or partner.

The kids should never have been the losers here.

PersephonePomegranate · 17/04/2022 16:34

You did have sympathy from me as far as the useless father/husband goes, OP, but your constant citing the 'cost of living crisis' when you've bought your nieces eggs and your own child presents and organised an egg hunt is pissing me off.

Nancydrawn · 17/04/2022 16:36

@eggsbenedict82, if my husband were a selfish, feckless, rude, huffy, lazy, financially-restrictive father and husband, I'd leave him.

I would not, in the meantime, take it out on his children. They are casualties in trying to teach him a lesson.

I'd have bought them eggs, let them have a nice day, and divorced their father later in the week.

Fedupmumofadultsons · 17/04/2022 16:36

If the living crisis is so bad just buy eggs forget the presents but no matter how you dress it up you didn’t give a shit for your child’s siblings ,I certainly wouldn’t want to be married to someone who gave so little care to my children.you had days but as long as your child was happy to hell with the other two .and don’t say it’s there dad’s responsibility your were buying for your child and others surely you give them an egg whenever you see them ffs

Choopi · 17/04/2022 16:37

I've been expected to buy everyone's eggs in the past, which I have done, but what the incredibly short notice this year and the issues that the cost of living crisis brings, this year I simply sorted Easter for DS.

You keep talking about the 'cost of living crisis' which didn't make you buy less for your ds or nieces, you still went beyond easter eggs for them but could you not have said 'I'm adding easter eggs to the online shop should i put a few in for x&y?' and then get your dh to pay if he said yes? I know you keep saying short notice but obviously with the weeks of planning you put into one childs easter you would have been aware that it was also easter for your step children or your husbands children as you keep referring to them as?

I think it is as obvious to your dh as it is to posters on this thread that you just couldn't give a shit about your step children, in fact I would say it borders on a dislike of them and all of the excuses you keep trotting out just don't add up. But hey so long as your child had a good day it doesn't matter about the rest of your family, sorry your dhs family.

Aliceforgot · 17/04/2022 16:37

Jeez OP. It's a couple of eggs. You knew on Wednesday. It's pretty clear you normally do all the 'preparations' in your house and that you are deliberatrly making a point about this so YABU.

Willyoujustbequiet · 17/04/2022 16:38

The ex wife did do better - she bought a gift for the Op's son.

The ex wife sounds like a lovely person who puts children first. The op could learn a thing or two.

Foreignmumof2 · 17/04/2022 16:39

I find your attitude towards your step children shocking.

They might bot be related to you but they are related to your husband AND YOUR SON. They are part of your marriage whether you like it or not. Unless your husband specifically said they would be spending Easter with the ex, why wouldn’t you ask whether they were coming during your Easter preparation process?

Why even marry a father if you’re not gonna care about his children’s well being?

Whether the ex’s intentions are pure or not, at least she’s way more courteous than you are!

Emiliasmummy · 17/04/2022 16:39

Did you say you weren't buying dsc easter eggs this year? You said you usually buy them all so without the conversation would dh just assume with all the preparing you were doing you added eggs for dsc. You may have only known they were coming for 4 days but still knew it was easter.
Anyway I find the fact that 2 children are getting left out because 2 adults can not be bothered to communicate sad. Stop arguing over who is to blame and fix it.

Montague22 · 17/04/2022 16:39

Get them a few bars large bars of chocolate in a gift bag or tied with a ribbon.

peachsweettea · 17/04/2022 16:39

I’m starting to cringe each time OP uses the word ‘preparation’ - especially when talking about buying an Easter egg, gift and some eggs to hide in the garden for a 3yo. You’d think they were coordinating the Queens Diamond Jubilee!!!

Original poster
eggsbenedict82 · 17/04/2022 16:39

@BunsyGirl

Bollocks that it was incredibly short notice. I only got back from the US on Wednesday afternoon but managed to sort an egg hunt and Easter eggs and bunnies for my DC. My DH organised a full on Easter Sunday lunch and tried to buy more eggs for the kids - I had to rein him in! We bought gifts for each other plus I got chocolate bunnies for my oldest DS to take to his friend who he had a play date with. That was all in FOUR days whilst jet lagged. Above everything, no child would come to my house and be left out whether they are related to me or not.
Watch out Bunsy, lest you get flamed like I have for daring to buy your own DCs presents on a holy day! You also don't seem to have been affected by the cost of living crisis either - people have different situations! Hmm If I could fly me and DS off to US of A for Easter I most certainly would have done!
OP posts:
Alwayspaintyournails · 17/04/2022 16:39

Your DH is useless but you are being unkind. Surely couples communicate… even if you weren’t seeing the DSC on Easter Sunday surely you would have got them an egg and a treat like your own son (between you and DH)? You are happy to see the children feel left out and unwanted just to make the point that your DH is a dick… dickish behaviour in itself!

And before you mutter on about the cost of living crisis… if as a household you can afford eggs and gifts for nieces and nephews you can afford to buy for the children of the house!

Moochio · 17/04/2022 16:39

@Willyoujustbequiet

The ex wife did do better - she bought a gift for the Op's son.

The ex wife sounds like a lovely person who puts children first. The op could learn a thing or two.

The ex wife sounds a bit creepy buying stuff for OP's child. Why would she do that? No need whatsoever.
aSofaNearYou · 17/04/2022 16:40

@Fedupmumofadultsons

If the living crisis is so bad just buy eggs forget the presents but no matter how you dress it up you didn’t give a shit for your child’s siblings ,I certainly wouldn’t want to be married to someone who gave so little care to my children.you had days but as long as your child was happy to hell with the other two .and don’t say it’s there dad’s responsibility your were buying for your child and others surely you give them an egg whenever you see them ffs
You'd probably find your spouse would be much more inclined to care deeply about your children if you didn't regularly treat them like your personal servant. And you'd only have yourself to blame if you did and a close bond between them and the kids didn't form.

Take some bloody responsibility, don't expect people to relish time with your kids when you treat them like crap and leave them to do everything.

froidIci · 17/04/2022 16:40

This post is SO try hard -

  1. Person posts with a really obvious set of triggering points
  1. Throws in specific points around further egging up the issue - bought treats for Nieces, spent weeks on preparing Easter for son - yet “cost of living crisis” so no more £2 for chocolates for step kids.
  1. Further egging occurs when ex wife is shown to have bought egg and outfit for OP’s son.
  1. Further assertion of BOTH extensive prep for Easter AND cost of living.

It’s just a set of posts from OP with such obvious things in it to cause an argument, rile people up etc. the only thing missing is twins!

Thinkingblonde · 17/04/2022 16:40

I’ve read the whole thread now and I think you resent your step children for existing. You sound resentful and petty.
Your child is their half brother?. Something that the stepchildren’s mother seems to have noticed and includes your DC ( her children’s half brother) by buying him/ her an egg and an outfit.

My daughters are 42 and 38 and guess what, I got them both an egg egg each and one each for their husband and partner respectively.

RealBecca · 17/04/2022 16:40

You lose all moral high ground citing the cost of living crisis. Whatever was in the family pot should be split between all three kids, if that means 3 creme eggs or even nothing then so be it.

How much does he do with your child? I cant see the appeal of this man, hes either a shit dad all round or a two tier dad - great to the one he is living with and shit to the rest. Which is it.

Cheesechips · 17/04/2022 16:40

@Willyoujustbequiet

The ex wife did do better - she bought a gift for the Op's son.

The ex wife sounds like a lovely person who puts children first. The op could learn a thing or two.

For some reason OP thinks ex wife being kind is point scoring Hmm
diddl · 17/04/2022 16:41

At the end of the day it doesn't matter that Op didn't get her sc any eggs as their father has some that he could give to them.

HELLITHURT · 17/04/2022 16:41

@eggsbenedict82 again I'll say! So much time on Easter Sunday when you've planned everything to be on MN all day.......

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